A rape victim meets her attacker

[Serial_Apologist]

No, I know that no one here is (at least overtly) denying the legality of acting in that way in the glare of publicity but, in answer to your question about which is the better idea (i.e. acting in such a way privately or publicly), my answer is that it should be and remain a matter of personal choice because it is a personal decision to make. A further consideration here is that, even if done privately without inviting publicity of any kind, there can in any case be no guarantee that the perpatrator of the crime concerned, once forgiven, would not him/herself publicise the fact of having been forgiven by the victim at some point, even in wilful contravention of the victim's wishes.

My only reason for referring to the legality of such actionwas that, as long as the law permits individual victims to make such choices as to whether, when and how to go about this kind of action, the freedom to make and act upon such choices does and should pertain.

I don't think it's a question of illegalising publication of one's reconciliation with one's tormenter, rather one of pointing out to him or her, as a forgiving person, the potential negative consequences.

[ahinton]

I don't think it's a question of illegalising publication of one's reconciliation with one's tormenter, rather one of pointing out to him or her, as a forgiving person, the potential negative consequences.

Fair enough, but those consequences would arguably only be "potential" (i.e. impossible to determine with absolute certainty) at least until after the event and, as I mentioned, a confidential forgiveness might not remain that way indefinitely if the person being forgiven or someone else aware of the forgiveness decides to publicise it at some point - in other words, a private forgiveness might still ultimately become public property whether or not the victim desires it to be so; in the light of these factors, I can perceive no viable and fair alternative to leaving decisions on how or whether to proceed with such acts of forgiveness, whether or not in the eye of publicity, to each individual victim. What is certain, however, is that for a victim to forgive his/her attacker privately or publicly presupposes considerable courage, especially in the case of a rape victim.

[jean]

...I can perceive no viable and fair alternative to leaving decisions on how or whether to proceed with such acts of forgiveness, whether or not in the eye of publicity, to each individual victim...

Nobody's suggesting there is an alternative! That doesn't mean that such actions are without problems for others.

For example,

What is certain, however, is that for a victim to forgive his/her attacker privately or publicly presupposes considerable courage, especially in the case of a rape victim.

Does that mean that the 'victim' who doesn't or can't forgive is lacking in courage?

[ahinton]

Nobody's suggesting there is an alternative!

I must have misread this, then; I had taken it that the alternatives for victims wishing to forgive their attackers could do so either in public or in private.

That doesn't mean that such actions are without problems for others.

Indeed not, although it does not mean that there will necessarily be such problems either; there's no shortage of actions and indeed inactions of all kinds that might come with potential problems for others!

Does that mean that the 'victim' who doesn't or can't forgive is lacking in courage?

No.