Optimism?

[Dave2002]

I'm sure I'm not the only person who buys plants hoping they'll work, then watch them die a few weeks later.

Another problem is plants which are small - and one hopes they'll grow larger to fill space, but they don't.

I'm sure that we must spend £00s each year on things which don't grow, or don't reach the potential we hope for.

In the meantime weeds and other wild things thrive.

Maybe it's all a learning experience - but perhaps not a very "helpful" one.

[oddoneout]

That's rather sad to hear Dave. When you hope that plants will fill a space is that based on whatever information you have found about the plant or just general "plants grow so it will get big enough"? It has to be said that the labels on plants can be less than helpful about best care, particularly on the mass produced and/or imported volume plants, where the label has to be meaningful in several languages and information is reduced to such a minimal level that it becomes pretty useless, misleading or sometimes just downright wrong. Someone at work bought some small acers from Morrisons expecting they would do for her sun soaked patio because the label said they were suitable for sun or part-shade; my neighbour nearly did the same but I was able to point out by showing her mine that they would not be happy on her concrete suntrap.
If the weeds grow it might be helpful to see if they give any clues about what plants would grow in your garden - some weeds can indicate certain soil conditions, and might also suggest trying garden versions of plants from the same family. Something else that can be useful is seeing what grows well in other gardens in your neighbourhood and then looking out for garden gate or open garden(private,) plant stalls.
Yes, gardening is a learning experience and optimism can be useful, but there need to be enough successes to make it worthwhile to continue learning!

[Dave2002]

Up here - in the frozen north - beyond Inverness it is a challenge. Some things grow very well - I've mentioned weeds. Moss - that's very easy! Broom and gorse grow wild, and not only that, but spread easily. At this time of year there are many daylight hours, so some things can do well. I mentioned that last year we had a great crop of tomatoes - but this year we're not doing so well. People imagine it is wet up here, but actually regarding rainfall that seems to be low compared to other places. Rhododendrons do well - obviously not a native plant - but effectively have become so. I have only just spotted - by catching the last few minutes of Gardener's World recently, that my treatment of lavender has been cruel. I'm not sure if I can rescue it, but I was hoping it would flourish. Basically I obviously over watered it. I may have to buy some more and try again. I was hoping to have some to create large patches - which we had in other places.

You want Christmas trees? Easy - they just start themselves, and also oak and beech trees would if I let them. Then some plants - which I wouldn't mind having - manage to start up in the wrong places - examples are lupins and foxgloves. Would be nice if located where I wanted, but nature is happy to have them "wherever". Quite often they root themselves into paths between cracks.

We don't necessarily want to have a highly managed and cultivated garden - but a modicum of control would be helpful. Regarding plants growing to fill spaces - in the past - elsewhere - we had some fuchsias which were really good and filled out. Perhaps I just bought the wrong ones - but although we have quite a number of fuchsias they have all remained small and are not providing a large body or colour which I'd hoped for.

Also we have tried large pots - so that at least we could rotate plants, and store the pots away when the plants die down. Limited success with those too - though we have had some very good tulips. One problem with those year on year is that the weeds also get into the pots, and given half a chance will totally swamp the things we want to encourage. So yes - big problems here.

[french frank]

I'm no expert to give advice, but I usually start by looking at where I want to plant. I don't do pH testing, but how much sun during the day, under trees or overshadowed by big plants, does the soil retain moisture but is well-drained, what grows well in other people's gardens … The worst I (usually) have to cope with is plants outgrowing their allotted space.

A newly-planted hydrangea has been the only total failure even though it was planted quite close to another flourishing one. I think there the problem was its state when bought - a very small plant with absolutely enormous blooms which I suspect was brought on to be especially showy. If it had been bought in the early spring and planted then it might have succeeded. As it is, it's sitting in a bucket of water as I nurture two tiny green leaf buds just above the roots and coax it to keep going.

Where there's life:

[Dave2002]

Sometimes plants which look hopeless when bought turn out very well later on. In our previous abode we had one rose which was bought as a cheapie - and not in great condition - but once it got going it just kept on and on. There is one quite expensive rose in our back which is still doing OK - but it does need tidying up. Our previous garden was in many ways much easier, and we planted a lot of shrubs.

[oddoneout]

Being on the East of the country is always going to be drier than might otherwise be expected. I have family 75 miles NW of you and it does tend to be damp there (when we were discussing weather a few days ago drizzle turning to an afternoon of rain was offered in exchange for my continued long-standing drought) but also mild so I don't know how much of what thrives there would do so for you. Drainage will be key with your lavender growing, as will choosing the right variety - some of the decorative ones that have become popular in recent years are not reliably hardy even much further south than you. I suspect the fuchsia problem could have the same cause - there are a good many kinds but not necessarily that many which are hardy, and of those they may not make big plants either. F. magellanica grows tall and is the kind that makes hedges in Ireland and SW England with red and purple flowers, there is a very fine variegated form (Riccartonii) and a lovely white flowered form (Hawkshead).
Collecting seed from the foxgloves and lupins and scattering it where you would like to see plants may help get plants where you would like them.
Have you been to the Botanic Gardens at Inverness? Advice and inspiration might be available there.

[Serial_Apologist]

Excellent advice on here, to which I would only add that it's perfectly ok to amble around your local nursery "just looking". Plants often reach shops at the time of flowering for recommendation purposes, but the "best" plant in a group may not be the one actually flowering - check leaves for wilt, disease etc. If you see plants you fancy but poorly labelled, as stated by oddoneout, make a note and once home Google check for details on site suitability, eventually expected size and care requirements. The problem with going around neighbouring gardens is often not knowing plant names. Gardening homemakers are often proud and keen to engage on the subject - it's how I've got to know some of my neighbours! Nurseries often have somebody with expertise who can offer recommendations on plant suitability and answers to any problems. In fact if no one at the local establishment seems informed or interested the place is probably not worth patronising.

[Dave2002]

I think there may be a world of difference between Surrey and Inverness - both weather wise and expertise wise. Wisley and Kew Gardens are not far away in Surrey. Inverness Botanic Gardens is good to look around, and also to have a coffee, but I don't think it's representative of gardens in the area. There are some seemingly good garden centres around, but many are like other retail outlets - the emphasis is on selling, but not on giving sensible advice. I think in the case of the better ones, it would be important to actually talk to the people who have the hands on growing experience, but that isn't always possible.

Given the constraints I think a significant amount of trial and error - and wastage - is almost inevitable. I'll keep persevering, even though it is beginning to seem like a pointless losing battle.

[gradus]

I always take a look at the unloved and neglected plants in nursery and garden centre sales and have bought some good bargains over the years. I am less sanguine about the cheap offers that I constantly receive by email and the plant sellers seem to vary considerably in the quality of their offerings. In my experience by far the best this year are Woolmans who supplied excellent Chrysanthemum cuttings and Dobies who have sent me some good stuff too. Unfortunately Thomson and Morgan were highly variable eg feeble grafted tomatoes were replaced by a second delivery that was dead on arrival.

[Dave2002]

Unfortunately Thomson and Morgan were highly variable eg feeble grafted tomatoes were replaced by a second delivery that was dead on arrival.

I'm never sure whether one can claim against that kind of DOA issue. Problem is that sometimes the plants are almost dead, and then the supplier has an excuse that something you did, or didn't do, was the problem. I mentioned tulips earlier - Sara Raven has some really good ones - pricey - and they may not always make it a second or third year, but if you want a very good display I'd recommend them. Some offers don't repeat - which is a shame. One year Lidl had circular discs with a lot of different bulbs in - they were affordable - and the idea was that you just planted the whole thing. They were very good - but didn't reappear in subsequent years. Some of Lidl's other bulb offers have been good too - but again don't necessarily repeat in subsequent years. Bulbs sadly don't always survive for several years, so one has to plan ahead and restock each year. Some will multiply by themselves, but many don't really do that - and again it probably depends on multiple factors - location, climate etc.

[oddoneout]

I'm never sure whether one can claim against that kind of DOA issue. Problem is that sometimes the plants are almost dead, and then the supplier has an excuse that something you did, or didn't do, was the problem. I mentioned tulips earlier - Sara Raven has some really good ones - pricey - and they may not always make it a second or third year, but if you want a very good display I'd recommend them. Some offers don't repeat - which is a shame. One year Lidl had circular discs with a lot of different bulbs in - they were affordable - and the idea was that you just planted the whole thing. They were very good - but didn't reappear in subsequent years. Some of Lidl's other bulb offers have been good too - but again don't necessarily repeat in subsequent years. Bulbs sadly don't always survive for several years, so one has to plan ahead and restock each year. Some will multiply by themselves, but many don't really do that - and again it probably depends on multiple factors - location, climate etc.

If they are DOA then under consumer law they are not fit for purpose and you are entitled to redress. Plants that die weeks after you have received them and planted them out are another matter, although for things like fruit trees reputable suppliers often have growing season length guarantees. The volume suppliers generally just send replacements, accepting that the way they market and supply results in casualties - plants left in packaging either waiting for despatch or held up in the delivery system. Smaller outfits will tend match orders and delivery more closely as they are less able to sustain losses and also take pride in sending out plants that will grow and provide satisfaction for the gardener.
Tulips are best regarded as annuals. Some varieties will repeat for 2 or 3 years, , but there are species tulips that once established will come back each year. This is a good one https://www.avonbulbs.co.uk/autumn-p...s/tulipa-tarda
Where otherwise strongly perennial bulbs , particularly small ones like muscari, crocus, snowdrop, don't come back the problem can be that they have ended up in furry stomachs - voles, mice and squirrels.

[Dave2002]

Now it's been raining so hard that even though I have now replanted the lavender to reduce the root rot issue, I'll still have to take remedial action straight away - perhaps even for the new ones.

Re a previous part sentence "...but didn't reappear in subsequent years." what I really meant was that the same product didn't appear in the shop again - though on reflection perhaps the bulbs didn't grow up from the ground again either.

Some of our other bulb purchases have come back over several years, though the pots do get untidier as the weeds find their way in. I'll look out for the tulipa tarda.

[oddoneout]

Now it's been raining so hard that even though I have now replanted the lavender to reduce the root rot issue, I'll still have to take remedial action straight away - perhaps even for the new ones.

Re a previous part sentence "...but didn't reappear in subsequent years." what I really meant was that the same product didn't appear in the shop again - though on reflection perhaps the bulbs didn't grow up from the ground again either.

Some of our other bulb purchases have come back over several years, though the pots do get untidier as the weeds find their way in. I'll look out for the tulipa tarda.

Thanks for the clarification.
I agree it's tiresome when weeds take advantage. I don't usually leave bulbs in the same pot more than a couple of years - after they have died down I dry them off and store, either to plant in the garden( as that is often the original intention but circumstances don't always cooperate!) or replant in pots. Where they are part of a longer term planting - with a small shrub for instance, the annual topdressing to refresh the compost helps to reduce the population.