Tourist information

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  • french frank
    Administrator/Moderator
    • Feb 2007
    • 30301

    Tourist information

    Caliban has plans for this s/f which will no doubt be made clear ...
    It isn't given us to know those rare moments when people are wide open and the lightest touch can wither or heal. A moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world.
  • Anna

    #2
    Originally posted by french frank View Post
    Caliban has plans for this s/f which will no doubt be made clear ...
    Will it be different from the thread Cali started about good places to visit or are we to have a UK only tourist office?

    (Offtopic: We had a terrible fight to stop our Tourist Information office being shut as a cost cutting exercise!)

    Comment

    • french frank
      Administrator/Moderator
      • Feb 2007
      • 30301

      #3
      Originally posted by Anna View Post
      Will it be different from the thread Cali started about good places to visit or are we to have a UK only tourist office?

      (Offtopic: We had a terrible fight to stop our Tourist Information office being shut as a cost cutting exercise!)
      I think he plans to move that one over here - and hope others will chip in with new threads/suggestions.
      It isn't given us to know those rare moments when people are wide open and the lightest touch can wither or heal. A moment too late and we can never reach them any more in this world.

      Comment

      • Nick Armstrong
        Host
        • Nov 2010
        • 26538

        #4
        Originally posted by Anna View Post
        Will it be different from the thread Cali started about good places to visit or are we to have a UK only tourist office?

        (Offtopic: We had a terrible fight to stop our Tourist Information office being shut as a cost cutting exercise!)
        As ff says. my 'trips' thread was the kick off to this. I'll have a fettle now!

        And yes, please everyone pitch in with suggestions. Probably a good idea to concentrate on British sites within easy range (he says, having started with one in France ) but further afield might be fun too...
        "...the isle is full of noises,
        Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
        Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
        Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

        Comment

        • umslopogaas
          Full Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 1977

          #5
          I hope everyone will help foreign tourists visiting the UK for the first time by giving them Gerard Hoffnung's advice, as in:

          "All London brothels display a blue lamp."

          "You will oblige your chambermaid by hanging your mattress out of the window in the morning."

          "Have you heard the famous echo in the Reading Room of the British Museum?"

          Comment

          • Nick Armstrong
            Host
            • Nov 2010
            • 26538

            #6
            Originally posted by umslopogaas View Post
            I hope everyone will help foreign tourists visiting the UK for the first time by giving them Gerard Hoffnung's advice, as in:

            "All London brothels display a blue lamp."

            "You will oblige your chambermaid by hanging your mattress out of the window in the morning."

            "Have you heard the famous echo in the Reading Room of the British Museum?"
            Shades of the immortal hotel-room notices

            You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

            and

            The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

            "...the isle is full of noises,
            Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
            Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
            Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

            Comment

            • umslopogaas
              Full Member
              • Nov 2010
              • 1977

              #7
              Great stuff, Caliban: sounds like they could have originated with Hoffnung. More Hoffnung, which has very little to do with the thread title, but I couldnt resist. Letter from a Tyrolean landlord extolling the delights of his hotel:

              "Standing amid savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a french widow in every bedroom ... affording delightful prospects!"

              Comment

              • Nick Armstrong
                Host
                • Nov 2010
                • 26538

                #8
                Originally posted by umslopogaas View Post
                "Standing amid savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations. There is a french widow in every bedroom ... affording delightful prospects!"
                Perfection!
                "...the isle is full of noises,
                Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                Comment

                • Serial_Apologist
                  Full Member
                  • Dec 2010
                  • 37691

                  #9
                  The cartoonist Larry did a lovely series in Punch many years ago on stately homes etc visits - the one I remember showing a low door bearing the words "Mind the step" across the lintel; looking down to the step, one sees another notice reading "Mind your head"!

                  Comment

                  • Petrushka
                    Full Member
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 12252

                    #10
                    Notice seen in a hotel room in Bulgaria:

                    For room service, open door and shout 'Room Service'!
                    "The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard Haitink

                    Comment

                    • Stan Drews
                      Full Member
                      • Dec 2010
                      • 79

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                      The cartoonist Larry did a lovely series in Punch many years ago on stately homes etc visits - the one I remember showing a low door bearing the words "Mind the step" across the lintel; looking down to the step, one sees another notice reading "Mind your head"!
                      Edinburgh's Cafe Royal has a notice on the low ceiling above the steps down to the loos - "Duck or Grouse".

                      Comment

                      • amateur51

                        #12
                        Originally posted by Stan Drews View Post
                        Edinburgh's Cafe Royal has a notice on the low ceiling above the steps down to the loos - "Duck or Grouse".

                        Comment

                        • Nick Armstrong
                          Host
                          • Nov 2010
                          • 26538

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Petrushka View Post
                          Notice seen in a hotel room in Bulgaria:

                          For room service, open door and shout 'Room Service'!





                          Wise words from even further East:


                          "...the isle is full of noises,
                          Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                          Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                          Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                          Comment

                          • teamsaint
                            Full Member
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 25210

                            #14
                            Originally posted by Caliban View Post





                            Wise words from even further East:




                            Wise words indeed.
                            Best done with a clear head?
                            I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.

                            I am not a number, I am a free man.

                            Comment

                            • Nick Armstrong
                              Host
                              • Nov 2010
                              • 26538

                              #15
                              Originally posted by teamsaint View Post


                              Wise words indeed.
                              Best done with a clear head?
                              "...the isle is full of noises,
                              Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                              Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                              Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                              Comment

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