Paying to go to parties

[ardcarp]

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I've really heard it all now...and this came up unbidden in a conversation, not as a result of my own dislike of the practice. (Related to me by son of old friend...let's call him Mike.)

Mike was asked to be best man at a friend's wedding. He had to hire a morning suit (usual) and he and his wife had to travel and pay for accommodation (also usual). And buy a wedding present (usual). But Mike, THE BEST MAN, his wife and all other guests had to pay £35 per head for the wedding reception! At the hotel they were asked by the Reception staff to pay before entering the dining room.

If anyone thinks this could possibly be considered reasonable on the grounds of possible poverty of happy couple, I'd just say if they couldn't afford it, then tough. Just get hitched at the local register office and have done with it!

I am speechless. It really does seem to be considered OK by a younger generation to get other people to pay them for the hospitality they are offering...or not.

[Beef Oven!]

Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I've really heard it all now...and this came up unbidden in a conversation, not as a result of my own dislike of the practice. (Related to me by son of old friend...let's call him Mike.)

Mike was asked to be best man at a friend's wedding. He had to hire a morning suit (usual) and he and his wife had to travel and pay for accommodation (also usual). And buy a wedding present (usual). But Mike, THE BEST MAN, his wife and all other guests had to pay £35 per head for the wedding reception! At the hotel they were asked by the Reception staff to pay before entering the dining room.

If anyone thinks this could possibly be considered reasonable on the grounds of possible poverty of happy couple, I'd just say if they couldn't afford it, then tough. Just get hitched at the local register office and have done with it!

I am speechless. It really does seem to be considered OK by a younger generation to get other people to pay them for the hospitality they are offering...or not.

That's nothing. My son, let's call him Lupin, came to see me today wearing a check suit. Yes, check, on a Sunday!!!

[ardcarp]

[Radio64]

Really spooky that I should read this thread this morning. I just came out of a series of (my own) expensive birthday parties over the weekend ..! My own damn fault I suppose for wanting to celebrate half a century with three different sets of people..

Over here the custom is of course is that if you are invited to anything then you should recompense the celebrated person(s) with an adequate/appropriate present. This is particularly true for weddings where folks tend to go over the top. You can't get away with just a toaster or Worcester china plate ..

[Dave2002]

Paying for parties has been going on for decades. We had a charming near neighbour - a Mrs Payne, I think her first name was Celia or something like that - who was always inviting my husband and me. Unfortunately, they were always on my choral society night so I never got to go, but my husband became quite a regular and he said he met all sorts of interesting folk.

Maybe Cynthia?

[Serial_Apologist]

Maybe Cynthia?

I was wondering that too - just didn't dare say so!!!

[jean]

I don't think she invited couples.

[Dave2002]

I don't think she invited couples.

No, but notice that our poster had choir practice and her gentleman husband "said he met all sorts of interesting folk." We also drifted off the issue of payment!

[ardcarp]

Over here the custom is.......

Where is 'over here' Radio64 ? Do tell us more about local customs.

[jean]

No, but notice that our poster had choir practice and her gentleman husband "said he met all sorts of interesting folk."

Yes, but she also said she was included in the original invitation.

But Mrs Payne didn't do parties for swingers.

[Flosshilde]

Mike was asked to be best man at a friend's wedding. He had to hire a morning suit (usual) and he and his wife had to travel and pay for accommodation (also usual). And buy a wedding present (usual). But Mike, THE BEST MAN, his wife and all other guests had to pay £35 per head for the wedding reception! At the hotel they were asked by the Reception staff to pay before entering the dining room.

I think that's really not on. If the parsimonious couple can't afford tp pay for an elaborate reception then they should, as you say, set their sights a bit lower (although £35 pounds per head sounds pretty cheap for a reception).

The current practice of getting married in exotic locations abroad & expecting guests to fork out for flights & hotel costs is pretty off, too. OK perhaps if it's somewhere you'd go to for a holiday anyway, but not if it's somewhere awful like Las Vegas.

[Dave2002]

Years ago my daughter went to a wedding in Scotland. I think they had fish and chips. It was done "on the cheap", but I gather that everyone had a really good time anyway.

This business of trying to get "the perfect wedding" is often completely OTT, and just puts money which could usefully go elsewhere into the hands of some in the entertainment/hospitality "industry" and sometimes even travel/holiday enterprises which don't necessarily deserve it.

Commerce and keeping up with the Joneses reign.

If people can truly afford this, that's OK, but if not, lowering sights seems the right approach to me.

[Beef Oven!]

Years ago my daughter went to a wedding in Scotland. I think they had fish and chips. It was done "on the cheap", but I gather that everyone had a really good time anyway.

This business of trying to get "the perfect wedding" is often completely OTT, and just puts money which could usefully go elsewhere into the hands of some in the entertainment/hospitality "industry" and sometimes even travel/holiday enterprises which don't necessarily deserve it.

Commerce and keeping up with the Joneses reign.

If people can truly afford this, that's OK, but if not, lowering sights seems the right approach to me.

Spot-on

[teamsaint]

Yes, but she also said she was included in the original invitation.

But Mrs Payne didn't do parties for swingers.

You seem very well versed in her business practice, Jean. Nice" research".

[Stanfordian]

I think that's really not on. If the parsimonious couple can't afford tp pay for an elaborate reception then they should, as you say, set their sights a bit lower (although £35 pounds per head sounds pretty cheap for a reception).

The current practice of getting married in exotic locations abroad & expecting guests to fork out for flights & hotel costs is pretty off, too. OK perhaps if it's somewhere you'd go to for a holiday anyway, but not if it's somewhere awful like Las Vegas.

This is amazing. I've never heard of paying for your own meal at a wedding before.