Coffee

[Nick Armstrong]

A tardis noise would be a ******* good selling point ! I 'd buy one, if I had the room !
off the record, do you think it may be a little side line he has going there?

It's not that large! It sits in the corner, next to the espresso machine itself. I got it on a frolic about 15 years ago and it has ground daily without missing a beat - quiet, and there's only one button so you can't get it wrong!

The only sideline I have going on is being able to go home for an espresso or a flat white rather than giving money to Starbucks et al

[teamsaint]

It's not that large! It sits in the corner, next to the espresso machine itself. I got it on a frolic about 15 years ago and it has ground daily without missing a beat - quiet, and there's only one button so you can't get it wrong!

The only sideline I have going on is being able to go home for an espresso or a flat white rather than giving money to Starbucks et al

My daytime coffee usually comes out of my trusty thermos. tastes dreadful....but not as bad as thermos tea !
The flask itself looks like it has survived a major conflict.

[Thropplenoggin]

I'm thinking of submitting this entire thread to Pseud's Corner.

[Stunsworth]

I'm a pleb (obviously).

I use one of those Nescafe capsule machines for espresso - not the Nespresso machine, the cheaper one. There are two espresso capsules, one has a higher cafeine kick than the other, that's the one I prefer. For standard black coffee I use Tesco French Blend in a filter coffee maker. Both are taken without milk.

Between the two my coffee needs are met.

For my parents coffee was either Maxwell House or Nescafe out of a jar of instant. How times change.

[Richard Tarleton]

I'm thinking of submitting this entire thread to Pseud's Corner.

With your headgear in mind, Throppers, I'd say you might be a Camp coffee man man.

[MrGongGong]

With your headgear in mind, Throppers, I'd say you might be a Camp Coffee man.

Isn't that the name of an espresso bar in Old Compton street ?

[jean]

[jean]

And the politically correct version:

[jean]

And the political-correctness-gone-mad version:

(Apologies for the website where I located this. It appeared originally in Private Eye.)

[Richard Tarleton]

And the political-correctness-gone-mad version:

(Apologies for the website where I located this. It appeared originally in Private Eye.)

I hesitate to point this out, but of course the tartan the officer is wearing is that of the Gordon Highlanders. He is allegedly Major General Sir Hector Macdonald.

[Pabmusic]

But you've missed out the original. They all knew their place then:

[Nick Armstrong]

And the political-correctness-gone-mad version:
[/i])

Hilarious, jean!

[jean]

But you've missed out the original.

No I haven't - #67!

[Pabmusic]

No I haven't - #67!

Oh yes you have! The Sikh batman in the original is carrying a tray of Camp coffee; no. 67 shows the intermediate version (the semi-politically correct one) with no tray.

[Thropplenoggin]

Yes, my ideal brew grows at about 12,000 feet above sea level, mere foothills at the hem of the mighty Himalayas. My coffee-wallah sends bands of pygmies shipped in from our colonies in West Africa to pluck only the best berries from the bushes at precisely 7 a.m. but only after a strong ground frost has tightened the little fellas up a bit, what.

These lucky blighters are then passed through a whole family of civets, a new sub-species specifically cross-bred for the purpose (Civettictis fortis). The unpleasant task of rooting through the faecal matter to retrieve the undigested beans falls to my dear coffee-wallah, who then washes and roasts them, a labour for which he receives ample pecuniary reward.

The roasted beans are then individually ground with a nutmeg grater - an arduous task requiring yet more pygmies, whose nimble hands have proved most commodious to the task.

The contraption utilised for extraction is a most ungainly metallic behemoth exerting 100 tons per square inch of pressure for each drop squeezed out of the granules. A snip at £10,000. After an hour of heavy steaming, the espresso is finally ready for consumption.

Of course, a true connoisseur wouldn't dream of sullying this concoction with either lactose or sweetening agents, and so I don't.

Some would call this a helluva ballyhoo for a cup of black gold, but not I. No, if a cup of coffee is worth making at all, it is worth making well.