The Curse of the Neanderthals

[Ferretfancy]

A few years back, a neanderthal man brought home a large chunk of mammoth for his hungry family, stopping only to put an elastoplast on his leg to staunch the bleeding suffered while he subdued the beast. He chucked the meaty chunk on the fire, and after a while they all tucked in to the burnt remains.

Thirty odd thousand years later, the same procedure was enacted under my open bedroom window a couple of weekends ago, filling the place with the reek of methylated spirits.

I live in an upper maisonette and my nice downstairs neighbours have a small patio which we overlook. Why does the man of the house persist in the absurd activity we call the barbecue.. What's wrong with a proper grill? If he must delight in burning flesh, why do it under my bedroom window on a hot night?

I shall have to ask them to let me know when the cremation is due to start, so that I can close all the windows and sit indoors sweating, It really is an anti-social activity, which is usual prompted by recommendations in the weekend colour mags, you know, the ones that have thirty ingredients and look like landfill.

Ah well! I'll soon be out at the Proms most evenings!

[umslopogaas]

Ferret, you need to learn how to grunt nearnderthal replies. Also, tell these people that methylated spirit is dangerous stuff.

Can you invite yourself down for dinner?

[french frank]

A few years back, a neanderthal man brought home a large chunk of mammoth for his hungry family, stopping only to put an elastoplast on his leg to staunch the bleeding suffered while he subdued the beast. He chucked the meaty chunk on the fire, and after a while they all tucked in to the burnt remains.

Thirty odd thousand years later, the same procedure was enacted under my open bedroom window a couple of weekends ago, filling the place with the reek of methylated spirits.

I live in an upper maisonette and my nice downstairs neighbours have a small patio which we overlook. Why does the man of the house persist in the absurd activity we call the barbecue.. What's wrong with a proper grill? If he must delight in burning flesh, why do it under my bedroom window on a hot night?

I shall have to ask them to let me know when the cremation is due to start, so that I can close all the windows and sit indoors sweating, It really is an anti-social activity, which is usual prompted by recommendations in the weekend colour mags, you know, the ones that have thirty ingredients and look like landfill.

Ah well! I'll soon be out at the Proms most evenings!

I'm not too keen on the fact that when the good weather comes the air hanging over my back garden reeks of paraffin and sausages.

But I love cooking out of doors when camping - 'proper cooking' because it's that or eat cold things out of tins and packets.

[Pabmusic]

You're unkind to our (close) cousins the Neanderthals. Our direct ancestors - Cro-Magnons (early modern humans) - were also extremely good barbecuers (is it a word?) though their diet relied a little less on meat.

I enjoy barbecues, but siting the barbecue is important; in some gardens it is impossible without annoying the neighbours. The solution is to get the neighbours involved in a good social occasion.

'Barbecue' has an interesting etymology:

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-bar1.htm

[BBMmk2]

You're unkind to our (close) cousins the Neanderthals. Our direct ancestors - Cro-Magnons (early modern humans) - were also extremely good barbecuers (is it a word?) though their diet relied a little less on meat.

I enjoy barbecues, but siting the barbecue is important; in some gardens it is impossible without annoying the neighbours. The solution is to get the neighbours involved in a good social occasion.

'Barbecue' has an interesting etymology:

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-bar1.htm

I love BBQs, but people should be more thoughtful about neighbours. Infact, as it is more of a social activity, imo, they should invite neighbours across or down, even!

[aka Calum Da Jazbo]

hmmm cornflour paste with a little green pesto dropped from your window on to the sizzling flesh might send a message?

... if they escalate i'd borrow a canon from Boris

[richardfinegold]

We grill quite a bit during the warm weather. We use propane grills and if the lid is closed there isn't much smoke.
Our grill died and we ordered a replacement but we had an event planned at our house so I also purchased an inexpensive
Charcoal barbecue to tide us over. The food was delicious but oh my the smoke! My wife was convinced that the fire department would show up any minute and forbids me to use it again.

[Tevot]

Silly me - I misread the title thread as "The curse of the Netherlands"

[Serial_Apologist]

Cro-Magnons (early modern humans) - were also extremely good barbecuers

Reminds me of the story bluesman Memphis Slim related, back in the 1960s, about a nephew of his who, on being told by the cook that the takeaway he's in doesn't serve negroes, answers that that's okay by him, 'cos he doesn't eat 'em.

Likewise, I've never tried Cro-Magnons

[vinteuil]

... fortunately, all that burnt meat is highly carcinogenic, so they won't live that long. They do in the meanwhile however cause great irritation to their neighbours. Not just the smell and the smoke, but also the concomitant crass music and inane laughter and shrieking...

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

But it's not just food - it's gardeners, too, burning off "garden waste". You can tell when it's Summer in England - as soon as it's too hot to keep the windows shut, a neighbour starts a bonfire!

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

I feel better now, thanks.

[teamsaint]

I feel better now, thanks.

well good news indeed Ferney .

I hope you feel even better than these guys. (warning, contains pop music)

what a song !!

[Pabmusic]

Reminds me of the story bluesman Memphis Slim related, back in the 1960s, about a nephew of his who, on being told by the cook that the takeaway he's in doesn't serve negroes, answers that that's okay by him, 'cos he doesn't eat 'em.

Likewise, I've never tried Cro-Magnons

Though many Cro-Magnons did, alas. And maybe they ate Neanderthals - and vice-versa.

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80beats/2009/05/18/controversial-study-suggests-early-humans-feasted-on-neanderthals/

[Ferretfancy]

Though many Cro-Magnons did, alas. And maybe they ate Neanderthals - and vice-versa.

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/80...-neanderthals/

Judging by recent research, it would seem that the two parties made love, not lunch.