Notices for a Laugh

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  • Nick Armstrong
    Host
    • Nov 2010
    • 26523

    "...the isle is full of noises,
    Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
    Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
    Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

    Comment

    • EdgeleyRob
      Guest
      • Nov 2010
      • 12180

      Comment

      • Serial_Apologist
        Full Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 37595

        Comment

        • Petrushka
          Full Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 12234

          This death notice appears in the latest Stoke Sentinel, absolutely true, and while these aren't often a barrel of laughs I thought this one deserved wider currency. I've just omitted the name of the deceased and the funeral directors.

          'Hi If you're reading this I have died. I lived my way so I'm dying my way. Please join my family to celebrate my life, not mourn my death, on Thursday 18th August at 3.30pm at Carmountside Crematorium. Following this, there will be a disco of all my favourite songs at Trent Country Club. Jeans, odd socks and trainers optional. Will family and friends wishing to attend please meet at the crematorium. Lots of flowers please, I love them. Lilies, freesias, gypsophila and white roses are my favourites. See you all there!!!'
          "The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard Haitink

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          • Daniel
            Full Member
            • Jun 2012
            • 418

            Originally posted by Caliban View Post
            Excellent!

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            • Nick Armstrong
              Host
              • Nov 2010
              • 26523

              This sign doesn't seem to me to promote the right attitude to speed bumps.....






              "...the isle is full of noises,
              Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
              Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
              Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

              Comment

              • teamsaint
                Full Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 25195

                Blimey.
                What is it about that sign that somehow suggests that the driver is male, and the passenger female?

                I think the subtle warning is that they are now one pig short of a successful day at market.
                I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.

                I am not a number, I am a free man.

                Comment

                • Beef Oven!
                  Ex-member
                  • Sep 2013
                  • 18147

                  Originally posted by Caliban View Post
                  Vandalism? Ok, I guess it’s always hard to remember whether graffiti is two effs or two tees (even for those of us with Italian blood!).

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                  • EdgeleyRob
                    Guest
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 12180

                    Comment

                    • AmpH
                      Guest
                      • Feb 2012
                      • 1318



                      ....think I'll have a 6 year old medium rare !

                      Comment

                      • Nick Armstrong
                        Host
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 26523

                        Originally posted by AmpH View Post


                        ....think I'll have a 6 year old medium rare !
                        "...the isle is full of noises,
                        Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                        Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                        Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                        Comment

                        • MrGongGong
                          Full Member
                          • Nov 2010
                          • 18357

                          Comment

                          • Dave2002
                            Full Member
                            • Dec 2010
                            • 18009

                            We once looked at a house for sale in close proximity to a pub.
                            That could have been considered a blessing or a curse, depending on one's point of view.

                            We didn't buy it, but that wasn't the overriding factor.

                            Comment

                            • Bryn
                              Banned
                              • Mar 2007
                              • 24688

                              Originally posted by MrGongGong View Post
                              Must be a very old image, that. The one time pub is most probably a Tesco Express, McDonalds or Costa by now.

                              Comment

                              • vinteuil
                                Full Member
                                • Nov 2010
                                • 12793

                                A safety announcement from a boat trip on Lake Louise in Canada.

                                The passengers were handed their lifejackets with the instruction:


                                “If you can’t work out how to put it on, that’s Darwinian selection for you.”

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