Notices for a Laugh

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  • Nick Armstrong
    Host
    • Nov 2010
    • 26523
    #31
    Originally posted by teamsaint View Post
    Oh yes, she sure did.
    "Searching for Jesus" was a particular favourite. A superb collection .
    The musical ones I love - the frequent juxtapositions of 'choir' and 'hell'...!

    "Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin" is nigh-on perfect, too!
    "...the isle is full of noises,
    Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
    Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
    Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

    Comment

    • teamsaint
      Full Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 25195
      #32
      Originally posted by Caliban View Post
      The musical ones I love - the frequent juxtapositions of 'choir' and 'hell'...!

      "Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin" is nigh-on perfect, too!
      Makes the thought of church just a tad more appealing.......
      Last edited by teamsaint; 12-10-13, 21:41.
      I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.

      I am not a number, I am a free man.

      Comment

      • doversoul1
        Ex Member
        • Dec 2010
        • 7132
        #33
        A notice of a concert I saw many years ago in Canterbury.
        Booing starts at [time and date]

        This is found in many places in Japan (at least used to) in English
        Multipurpose toilet

        Comment

        • Hornspieler
          Late Member
          • Sep 2012
          • 1847
          #34
          You must all read Caliban's message #27.

          May I offer my own humble contribution?

          The preacher for next Sunday will be found hanging in the porch

          HS

          Comment

          • mercia
            Full Member
            • Nov 2010
            • 8920
            #35
            I think "Evensnog" and "Snug Eucharist" are well-known church typos

            "The box marked FOR THE SICK at the back of the church is for money donations only please"

            Comment

            • salymap
              Late member
              • Nov 2010
              • 5969
              #36
              Originally posted by teamsaint View Post
              a third of the way through, I am helpless with laughter,

              Thanks a lot Cali [and good morning] It's just as funny the second time around, after my porridge..

              The best Church Notice collection I've ever seen.

              Comment

              • ferneyhoughgeliebte
                Gone fishin'
                • Sep 2011
                • 30163
                #37
                Originally posted by salymap View Post
                Thanks a lot Cali [and good morning] It's just as funny the second time around, after my porridge..

                The best Church Notice collection I've ever seen.


                ... for some reason, the eternal recurrence of the piano falling on the minister's daughter has got stuck in my mind, causing uncontrollable bouts of chuckling.
                [FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]

                Comment

                • Petrushka
                  Full Member
                  • Nov 2010
                  • 12239
                  #38
                  Our own Parish magazine has provided many a chuckle over the years. Must read Caliban's list every Monday morning in order to start the working week in better mood than usual.
                  "The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard Haitink

                  Comment

                  • Don Petter
                    #39
                    A classified advertisement from a local newspaper of my youth (probably the Haslemere Herald) that has always stuck in my mind said:

                    Secretary urgently required for rapidly expanding contracting company

                    Things were obviously going in the wrong direction.

                    Comment

                    • amateur51
                      #40
                      What a tonic. Many thanks to Caliban and other contributors.

                      Comment

                      • gradus
                        Full Member
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 5606
                        #41
                        Just caught up with this thread and Cali's simply wonderful posting, a tonic indeed.

                        Comment

                        • Don Petter
                          #42
                          There was another newspaper cutting which I carried around for years until it fell apart, so I will have to reconstruct it from memory:

                          The murder appeared motiveless, and although several people visited the antique shop, which was full of quaint curios, native masks, objets d’art, juju carvings and bric-a-brac, nothing unusual was noticed on Wednesday.

                          Comment

                          • Dave2002
                            Full Member
                            • Dec 2010
                            • 18009
                            #43
                            Originally posted by teamsaint View Post
                            a third of the way through, I am helpless with laughter,

                            Ditto!

                            Comment

                            • mangerton
                              Full Member
                              • Nov 2010
                              • 3346
                              #44
                              Yes indeed. Belated thanks to Caliban for brightening up my weekend. Great to have all these collected in one place.

                              I have just returned from church where the setting today was Darke in F. Not a good one to announce the wrong way.

                              Comment

                              • salymap
                                Late member
                                • Nov 2010
                                • 5969
                                #45
                                Originally posted by mangerton View Post
                                Yes indeed. Belated thanks to Caliban for brightening up my weekend. Great to have all these collected in one place.

                                I have just returned from church where the setting today was Darke in F. Not a good one to announce the wrong way.

                                Mangerton, and just got in from church too.

                                Butit is isn't it

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