Ten rules for being well-dressed: to follow, or to flout?

[eighthobstruction]

I'd hate to have to check (and would not know how to) to see if you are telling the truth V....straight arrow??

[EdgeleyRob]

I was always told by my father that buttons were put on sleeves to stop people wiping there nose on their cuffs....

and so preventing greensleeves ?

[eighthobstruction]

and so preventing greensleeves ?

....Alas my love....

[Karafan]

FUNERAL ETIQUETTE

I always feel that full black should be the preserve of the immediate bereaved. Sombre darks & greys, ideally, and dark ties for the gentlemen, but only black ties by the nearest and dearest.

To turn up to a funeral looking like a gangster at a Kray funeral is rather to intrude on the grief of the genuinely bereaved.

Younger attendees - I despair to see funerals when young people are in jeans and shirtsleeves, maybe with an anorak. They'd dress up plenty quick for a night on the town, so they ought to be able to get it right for a funeral.


MAYOR'S BANQUET/CENOTAPH/MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT

The overcoat is all but disappeared but I believe a dark, long overcoat should be in the wardrobe of all public representatives. I think when David Cameron was due to make his first appearance at the Cenotaph ceremony a special shopping trip had to be made to get him a coat. (But, please, let's not get on to Michael Foot here).

Worst of all was to see John Major rushing out of No.10, late for a Lord Mayor's banquet, with no overcoat and in tails, the sleeves of which were ridiculously short. To all intents he looked like the butler being rushed down to the local pharmacy in the family limo to obtain some remedy for his bibulous master.


ASCOT/GARDEN PARTIES

Top Hots - My preference is for black, beaver silk, and never grey. Has something of the cad or lounge-lizard about it.

As for the wearing of it: NEVER on the back of the head. A little forward and tilted to the right (or left, if left-handed as one will be raising it occasionally for passing ladies and superior personages), but not too much or one is in danger of looking like a rake.

And, gentleman, no matter how good the day, the tie and collar never to be undone. By the same token, ladies, never, but ever, would a true lady arrive at Waterloo Station in stockinged feet clutching ones's shoes in one hand and the dregs of a bottle of champagne in the other.

Any posting which includes the words "bibulous master" and makes reference to the doffing of black, beaver silk toppers to "superior personages" gets my unequivocal vote! Thanks for the smiles, Stillhomewardbound.....

[Karafan]

I might use that as a chat-up line - what do you reckon ?

[Flay]

Bow ties are fine if you're a hospital consultant, as ordinary ties get in the way when bending over patients in bed (to examine them).

When I was a medical student a rather aloof consultant was teaching how to do rectal examinations. He was not looking at his target and muttered "this is a very odd finding..." before realising he had his tie caught up on his probing digit!

[amateur51]

When I was a medical student a rather aloof consultant was teaching how to do rectal examinations. He was not looking at his target and muttered "this is a very odd finding..." before realising he had his tie caught up on his probing digit!

That's why consultants get paid so much - the price of dry-cleaning silk ties is exorbitant

[Nick Armstrong]

When I was a medical student a rather aloof consultant was teaching how to do rectal examinations. He was not looking at his target and muttered "this is a very odd finding..." before realising he had his tie caught up on his probing digit!

... thereby sadly failing to emerge without a stain on his professional reputation...

[Nick Armstrong]

We were in the same ball-park Ammy

[Ant]

"Being clean and tidy is quite separate from wearing old clothes.

I think I've told this story before, but it seems à propos: My head of department, an immaculately conservative dresser, was moaning about one of the members of the department always looking so scruffy and 'wearing jeans'. I said, in a slighly embarrassed voice, 'I always wear jeans.'

At which point he looked down at my jeans in some amazement and said, 'But you always look so tidy!' "


While wearing my "Church-going outside Broadcast Suit" (tatty but adequately tidy" I was surveyed in the lift by some girl who obviously thought she'd got her finger on the pulse "I thought you were in Audio Unit." "Yes, that's right." "But you're wearing a suit..."

Regards Ant

[Padraig]

At college I went through a bad sartorial patch. Being a jazzist - played hot trombone in the student trad group - and was exploring 'cool' and chico hamilton and James Dean, I affected casual dress - tight trousers, crew neck sweater, no shirt, leather jacket, longish hair and needing a shave. Thus attired I arrived for a morning lecture, 5 minutes late. Not feeling a bit cool, but hoping it didn't show, I approached the lectern and muttered respectfully, " Sorry I'm late Sir. I slept in."
He turned his head to look down on me, glanced to the anticipatory student body, and sneered - " Slept out, more likely".

[Nick Armstrong]

At college I went through a bad sartorial patch. Being a jazzist - played hot trombone in the student trad group - and was exploring 'cool' and chico hamilton and James Dean, I affected casual dress - tight trousers, crew neck sweater, no shirt, leather jacket, longish hair and needing a shave. Thus attired I arrived for a morning lecture, 5 minutes late. Not feeling a bit cool, but hoping it didn't show, I approached the lectern and muttered respectfully, " Sorry I'm late Sir. I slept in."
He turned his head to look down on me, glanced to the anticipatory student body, and sneered - " Slept out, more likely".

No photographic evidence you could share in The Photo Booth, paddy?

[french frank]

While wearing my "Church-going outside Broadcast Suit" (tatty but adequately tidy" I was surveyed in the lift by some girl who obviously thought she'd got her finger on the pulse "I thought you were in Audio Unit." "Yes, that's right." "But you're wearing a suit..."

That reminds me of an occurrence that I'd quite forgotten. I had come by a small Persian miniature and was going to the local art gallery where there was a curator who specialised in Middle Eastern art. I hoped he would be able to tell me something about it. In the lift, the liftman surveyed the parcel I was carrying. 'Your picture?' 'Yes', I said, 'I'm going to ask Mr X his opinion of it.' The liftman nodded. 'I thought you were an artist. You're wearing corduroy.'

[Serial_Apologist]

That reminds me of an occurrence that I'd quite forgotten. I had come by a small Persian miniature and was going to the local art gallery where there was a curator who specialised in Middle Eastern art. I hoped he would be able to tell me something about it. In the lift, the liftman surveyed the parcel I was carrying. 'Your picture?' 'Yes', I said, 'I'm going to ask Mr X his opinion of it.' The liftman nodded. 'I thought you were an artist. You're wearing corduroy.'

There was a time, I think, when one could sit on a bus or train, staring at ones fellow passengers, and pretty accurately guess what their employment was, purely from their manner of dress. But that is not so easy today.

[MrGongGong]

There was a time, I think, when one could sit on a bus or train, staring at ones fellow passengers, and pretty accurately guess what their employment was, purely from their manner of dress. But that is not so easy today.

(I'm not "channeling" OXOboy honest ) and how things have improved as a result IMV
About time we stopped daft schools telling their pupils that they have to dress like 1950's office workers, try going to a university on a day when they are doing interviews lots of awkward teenagers in suits "SUITS ON 18 year olds ???? " being interviewed by staff in comfortable clothes.