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From me too...my Aged P is 92 and has recently been obliged to enter "assisted living" in a Swiss place which is wonderful in every way but she is having trouble building relationships with staff and fellow inmates.
Sorry to hear about the bereavements of Caliban and BBM. : R.I.P
I remember I cried like a baby when my mother died but didn't shed a single tear for my father's passing despite being very close to him. He suffered from Alzheimers latterly so I comforted myself by thinking that my comparative lack of emotion was a feeling of relief that he had been spared further suffering. That did not prevent occasional feelings of guilt, though. However the more the years go by the more I realise how much I miss and loved him and his wise (and often wholly unheeded) advice.
As others have said we all have individual ways of grieving and we all learn to cope in different ways when those we loved dearly pass on....
That said, I am about to depart for a weekend of divertissements in the environs and fleshpots of Le Touquet - therapeutic, family-based fun, bien sûr - so shall be somewhat absent for other reasons too
Got to keep the chin up!
"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
After my father's funeral 25 years ago (can it be that long?) there were bored grandchildren to be entertained, so we six siblings with various spouses and children popped to Formby beach to jump off the sand dunes, dressed in our formalities. It was cathartic. He was 78 and it had been an unpleasant illness from cancer, terminating in the hospice that he had helped to found.
We were celebrating a wonderful productive (and reproductive ) life, not the death.
Last edited by Flay; 06-11-15, 10:24.
Reason: Grammar!
We all of us who outlive our parents come to deal with their departure (or departures) in our own ways. .
... it is good, thinking of the alternative, to out-live one's parents.
I lost my father too early (heart attack at 67) ; my mother had gone on long enough and her death at 95 was a release for her and a relief for her children.
These things are sad; but it is appropriate to feel relief as well as grief.
It was great to see how my parents were able to support each other in their old age. My father had a serious stroke in his mid-eighties but my mother was still fit enough to look after him. He slowly recovered his faculties and was then in turn able to look after my mother as she gradually faded away. They reached their diamond wedding before my mother died, after which he was on his own but well able to look after himself and enjoy life for another seven years, dying aged 94. It would have been very sad if they had both been seriously ill at the same time.
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