Test Cricket England v New Zealand 2013

[Guest]

Test cricket often bamboozles people who don't understand it. How can something that last 5 days possibly be exciting? And how can a game where few runs are scored be anything other that dull?

The First Test match in a two-match series between England and New Zealand is cranking up to an extraordinary finish today. New Zealand need only 239 to win but they're currently . .... oh hang on, it's all over

New Zealand, who have shown themselves to be no mugs at this level as recently as last Winter, have just been bowled out for 68 runs Stuart Broad who was being written off this time yesterday afternoon, has taken 7-44, and England have won by 170 runs with a day and a bit to spare.

As David Coleman might have said "Remarkable!"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/22584169

[Mr Pee]

Test cricket often bamboozles people who don't understand it. How can something that last 5 days possibly be exciting? And how can a game where few runs are scored be anything other that dull?

Those are both very good questions, Amsy, and I know the answer to neither of them...

[teamsaint]

It may be the only game that allows plenty of time for 2 meal breaks (Bill Bryson), but it can be a beautiful thing.
Perhaps you would like to explain the finer points to Mr Pee, Ams. He will have plenty of tome to listen as those little cars go round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round round and round and round and round and round and round and round and roundround and round and round and round and round and round and round and round round and round and round and round and round and round and round and roundround and round and round and round and round and round and round and round round and round and round and round and round and round and round and round.

I should think.

[Mr Pee]

Perhaps you would like to explain the finer points to Mr Pee, Ams.

No need:-

A chap throws a ball at another chap, in an attempt to knock over some sticks that he is standing in front of.

That chap tries to hit the ball with a piece of wood. Often he fails.

If he manages to hit it far enough, which doesn't happen very often, some other chap who has been standing around for the last ten minutes or so will try to catch it, while the hitter chap runs up and down a bit.

If the chap who threw the ball knocks over the sticks, or one of the chaps who have been standing around actually catches the ball, then the hitter chap strolls off for a cup of tea, and another chap comes on to replace him.

And so it goes on....and on....and on... and on....and on...until after about a decade the winning team are the ones who ran up and down the most number of times.

(Unless it rains, in which case the whole thing comes to an early finish and the crowd can wake up, go home, and watch something more exciting, such as Formula One motor racing.)

[teamsaint]

No need:-

A chap throws a ball at another chap, in an attempt to knock over some sticks that he is standing in front of.

That chap tries to hit the ball with a piece of wood. Often he fails.

If he manages to hit it far enough, which doesn't happen very often, some other chap who has been standing around for the last ten minutes or so will try to catch it, while the hitter chap runs up and down a bit.

If the chap who threw the ball knocks over the sticks, or one of the chaps who have been standing around actually catches the ball, then the hitter chap strolls off for a cup of tea, and another chap comes on to replace him.

And so it goes on....and on....and on... and on....and on...until after about a decade the winning team are the ones who ran up and down the most number of times.

(Unless it rains, in which case the whole thing comes to an early finish and the crowd can wake up, go home, and watch something more exciting, such as Formula One motor racing.)

shame, you were doing really well !!

[EdgeleyRob]

No need:-

A chap throws a ball at another chap, in an attempt to knock over some sticks that he is standing in front of.

That chap tries to hit the ball with a piece of wood. Often he fails.

If he manages to hit it far enough, which doesn't happen very often, some other chap who has been standing around for the last ten minutes or so will try to catch it, while the hitter chap runs up and down a bit.

If the chap who threw the ball knocks over the sticks, or one of the chaps who have been standing around actually catches the ball, then the hitter chap strolls off for a cup of tea, and another chap comes on to replace him.

And so it goes on....and on....and on... and on....and on...until after about a decade the winning team are the ones who ran up and down the most number of times.

(Unless it rains, in which case the whole thing comes to an early finish and the crowd can wake up, go home, and watch something more exciting, such as Formula One motor racing.)

RULES OF CRICKET (oldie but goodie).

You have two sides, one out in the field and one in.

Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.

When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in.

There are two men called umpires who stay out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out.

When both sides have been in and all the men have out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

[teamsaint]

THe great thing about proper county cricket is...
you turn up about 11.30 after a good lie in.
have a token coffee, before the first pint.
You don't need to watch , just clap when the other 17 people do.
Have pint.
have chips when the players are tired at 1.00 pm.
Washed down with a pint.
go for a walk. Read paper.(not at same time ).
Think about an ice cream
Have an ice cream.
chat about when the tea interval might be.
Have a pint at tea time.
Chat to one of the people who have been in the ground since 1958.
Get bus home, and make up what happened if anybody asks how the game was.

Terrific sport.

[umslopogaas]

In the spirit of having an affectionate laugh at cricket, which is something I very much enjoy (the laugh, not the cricket), has everyone read chapter seven of 'England, Their England', by AG Macdonell? My copy is an ancient Picador paperback and describes itself as "the classic comic novel". Its still in print, I bought a copy recently for a friend. The whole book is very funny, but chapter seven, which describes a village cricket match which falls apart at the seams because everyone has one pint too many in the pub on the green, is fit to make you fall off the sofa laughing. If you dont know it, buy without delay, its a treat.

[Pabmusic]

In the spirit of having an affectionate laugh at cricket, which is something I very much enjoy (the laugh, not the cricket), has everyone read chapter seven of 'England, Their England', by AG Macdonell? My copy is an ancient Picador paperback and describes itself as "the classic comic novel". Its still in print, I bought a copy recently for a friend. The whole book is very funny, but chapter seven, which describes a village cricket match which falls apart at the seams because everyone has one pint too many in the pub on the green, is fit to make you fall off the sofa laughing. If you dont know it, buy without delay, its a treat.

A classic of cricketing literature. My copy looks down on me as I write. Peter Tinniswood did a good parody of it in the 1970s or early 80s.

[aka Calum Da Jazbo]

er and the game was extraordinary .... Broad took seven wickets in a couple of hours .... [England won but NZ are not the force in cricket they are in Rugby] ..and a test match means Test Match Special that uniquely entertaining summer diversion on the wireless ...

[Pabmusic]

I love cricket (always have) and especially test cricket. Going to a match on a sunny summer's day is wonderful, and if you're with a friend, doubly so. In fact, test cricket on a summer's day might well be the perfect backdrop for a chat with an old friend.

[amateur51]

I love cricket (always have) and especially test cricket. Going to a match on a sunny summer's day is wonderful, and if you're with a friend, doubly so. In fact, test cricket on a summer's day might well be the perfect backdrop for a chat with an old friend.

Oh yes, Pabs. One of my favourite Test match memories was Eng v NZ at Lord's some time in the mid 1970s when I took my adopted father (one I'd adopted as my father, I mean) and while we chatted and generally carried on as people do at a Test match, Bev Congden notched up a fine but rather slow century The applause came as quite a surprise

[Belgrove]

A splendid and remarkable Test in the end. The first two days were rather dour, but serve as a catch up to discover who has survived the winter. Perishing cold though. Anderson's 300 wickets is an achievement worth celebrating (interesting to note that Trueman got his 300 in just 67 Tests).

The outfield was very slow having been relaid following the Olympic Archery event last summer, and this contributed to the low scores. But low totals make for more interesting matches, each run has a greater significance and leads to fluctuating fortunes as the day progresses.

The consensus at the start of play yesterday was that England needed 50 to be safe, they got 30 and so the advantage was again New Zealand's. But who would have predicted Broad's hostile and deadly spell, especially after being ineffective in the first innings? In fact the Test will be remembered for the bowling, Southee making significant dents in the England batting line up. This needs serious consideration for the rest of the summer.

Test cricket is Wagnerian in scale and scope. There is almost always some change happening however slight. The chance to sample some delightful New Zealand wines also made for an enjoyable social as well as sporting occasion.

Two more Test's (against Australia) to go...

[Simon]

Irrespective of his intelligence, decency, integrity and of any other excellent qualities he may have in whatever measure, there is, for me, something lacking in any man brought up within our culture who "does not like" cricket.

On the other hand, irrespective of his stupidity, unpleasantness, lack of manners and of any other bad qualities he may have in whatever measure, there is, for me, some saving grace in any man who does.

I know you might consider this to be somewhat irrational, Doctor, but I'm sorry, I can't help it...

[Padraig]

......ah yes. Clicky ba and the Wolf of Kabul. Great stuff, but hardly cricket.