Withering Insults

[ahinton]

I expect everyone has heard this one, but just in case ...

Friend of orchestral musician: "Who was conducting this afternoon?"

Musician (I think he was principal clarinet in one of the big London orchestras): "I'm afraid I forgot to look."

I believe that James Agate was the original source of that one.

[ahinton]

Tee hee! I'd forgotten that Chambers Music Quotations has a pretty well inexhaustible supply of musical invective.

And then let's not forget the indispensable A Lexicon of Musical Invective (1953) by Nicolas Slonimsky (1894-1995)...

[umslopogaas]

#62 ahinton, is Slonimsky in print? I havent got it, but am planning a trip to the bookshop.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

#62 ahinton, is Slonimsky in print? I havent got it, but am planning a trip to the bookshop.

Published by W W Norton & Co
ISBN-10: 039332009X
ISBN-13: 978-0393320091

... costs about a tenner.

[umslopogaas]

Thanks fhg, I've just been to the local second-hand bookshop and he's found me a used copy for six quid on ebay: I should be able to pick it up in a few days.

[ahinton]

#62 ahinton, is Slonimsky in print? I havent got it, but am planning a trip to the bookshop.

It looks as though it might even be downloadable (see http://ebookbrowse.com/lexicon-of-mu...-pdf-d68932891) but I don't know if that's legal; don't let Simon see the sample page at that location, though - it's got some stuff about Bartók on it with which he would doubtless identify all too readily!...

[Richard Barrett]

The Lexicon is an entertaining read - but I don't know whether I'd put it in the category of "withering insults", because the whole point of the book is that it's the insults themselves which have withered, being generally the laughably narrow-minded responses of blinkered critics to anything that disturbs their musical prejudices. Good thing that doesn't happen any more!

[ahinton]

The Lexicon is an entertaining read - but I don't know whether I'd put it in the category of "withering insults", because the whole point of the book is that it's the insults themselves which have withered, being generally the laughably narrow-minded responses of blinkered critics to anything that disturbs their musical prejudices. Good thing that doesn't happen any more!

!!! (how amber is my valley?...)

[vinteuil]

Thanks fhg, I've just been to the local second-hand bookshop and he's found me a used copy for six quid on ebay: I should be able to pick it up in a few days.

... without wishing to discourage your patronage of a local bookseller, I see that second hand copies are available on abebooks for 64p and on amazon for 1p....

[umslopogaas]

Well, I expect he's seen that too, but if he buys it for 1p, adds two quid for p&p and sells it to me for six, I reckon that's a fair price for an out of print book. And I'm happy to pay him to do the ebaying, I hate using credit cards and particularly on line. I'm looking forward to it, Slonimsky is quoted quite often in the Chambers book, he ought to be an entertaining read.

I've another reason to encourage my local bookseller, he has a copy of a rare book on Papua New Guinea, where I used to work. Its sixty five quid, but he says he might do a deal, I suspect its been on his shelf for a long time.

[ardcarp]

We shouldn't really open the can of Beecham's bons mots, but there's the one about his spotting a new female 2nd oboist in the ranks. On asking her name she replied, "Miss Ball", to which he replied, "How very singular".

[DoctorT]

My old Music teacher's school report comment on one of my contemporaries:

"Not yet".

Just noticed this Tapiola. An identical comment was put on a school report by the music teacher at my school. Could it have been the same school? In Co Down?

[Ferretfancy]

We shouldn't really open the can of Beecham's bons mots, but there's the one about his spotting a new female 2nd oboist in the ranks. On asking her name she replied, "Miss Ball", to which he replied, "How very singular".

Sorry ardcarp, but it was a male trumpet player.

[Tapiola]

Just noticed this Tapiola. An identical comment was put on a school report by the music teacher at my school. Could it have been the same school? In Co Down?

Oh my goodness me, DoctorT. County Down, yes. Teacher's initials AB?

[DoctorT]

Oh my goodness me, DoctorT. County Down, yes. Teacher's initials AB?

Yes indeed, Tapiola, it was the late AB! Small world, eh? Can I send you a private message to exchange identities or would you prefer to remain anonymous?