Unavoidable Spam

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  • Stillhomewardbound
    Full Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 1109

    Unavoidable Spam

    I recently analysed all my spam and considered what it said of me. Well, it seems I'm impotent, alcoholic, immobile and horribly in need of car insurance and express exhaust replacement. Now for a starters, I don't have a car ...
  • Eine Alpensinfonie
    Host
    • Nov 2010
    • 20570

    #2
    That's the trouble with the internet. You can't reflect it back at 'em.
    I've been trying to unsubscribe from a site for ages, but it keeps coming back.

    Comment

    • hmvman
      Full Member
      • Mar 2007
      • 1099

      #3
      I have a bevy of Russian ladies all desperate to be my wife.....

      Comment

      • Pabmusic
        Full Member
        • May 2011
        • 5537

        #4
        What gets me is how much they know. To the nearest centimetre.

        Comment

        • gurnemanz
          Full Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 7384

          #5
          Originally posted by Pabmusic View Post
          What gets me is how much they know. To the nearest centimetre.
          I worked as a school teacher many years ago in the days of wooden desks into which words could be carved. I reported to a colleague that a message about him had appeared stating: "___________ is a w*nker". He replied: "Yes, but what worries me is how they found out".

          Comment

          • Pabmusic
            Full Member
            • May 2011
            • 5537

            #6
            Originally posted by gurnemanz View Post
            I worked as a school teacher many years ago in the days of wooden desks into which words could be carved. I reported to a colleague that a message about him had appeared stating: "___________ is a w*nker". He replied: "Yes, but what worries me is how they found out".

            Comment

            • Hornspieler
              Late Member
              • Sep 2012
              • 1847

              #7
              Originally posted by hmvman View Post
              I have a bevy of Russian ladies all desperate to be my wife.....
              Well, you shouldn't be so damned good-looking.

              Comment

              • ferneyhoughgeliebte
                Gone fishin'
                • Sep 2011
                • 30163

                #8
                Originally posted by Stillhomewardbound View Post
                ... it seems I'm impotent, alcoholic, immobile and horribly in need of car insurance and express exhaust replacement.
                That's not "spam": you've been getting my mail!
                [FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]

                Comment

                • amateur51

                  #9
                  Originally posted by ferneyhoughgeliebte View Post
                  That's not "spam": you've been getting my mail!
                  Apparently certain parts of my anatomy need enlarging and others reducing - uncanny! - but my question is, how do they know?

                  Comment

                  • eighthobstruction
                    Full Member
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 6433

                    #10
                    Originally posted by amateur51 View Post
                    Apparently certain parts of my anatomy need enlarging and others reducing - uncanny! - but my question is, how do they know?
                    You really must get some curtains ....
                    bong ching

                    Comment

                    • MrGongGong
                      Full Member
                      • Nov 2010
                      • 18357

                      #11
                      Originally posted by eighthobstruction View Post
                      You really must get some curtains ....
                      found you


                      A woman concerned by her lesbian neighbours' sexual displays wonders how to make them stop. Mariella Frostrup suggests she should relax and enjoy the free show

                      Comment

                      • amateur51

                        #12
                        Originally posted by eighthobstruction View Post
                        You really must get some curtains ....
                        Oh it's you with the infra-red camera! I was hoping it was Attenborough with his rhino-filming Starlight special

                        Comment

                        • Flosshilde
                          Full Member
                          • Nov 2010
                          • 7988

                          #13
                          Originally posted by amateur51 View Post
                          Apparently certain parts of my anatomy need enlarging and others reducing - uncanny! - but my question is, how do they know?
                          I've just had an email headed 'lots of enhancements at no extra cost!'. It's from the company that hosts my website . So they've obviously decided to use the 'come hither' method of marketing

                          Comment

                          • Stillhomewardbound
                            Full Member
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 1109

                            #14
                            I love the mini-soap-opera that surely must come with one of those walk-in baths.

                            "Oh Nan!! How many times? You're meant to let the water out first!

                            Nan: Well, I does too.

                            "Yes, but by pulling the plug! Not swinging the door open."

                            Nan: Oh I can't be done with that waiting for the water to drain. Sitting there shivering me tits off? Not right at my age. Not when I got me emails to check.

                            "Oh, Nan ... Not another Nigerian email scam operation again.

                            Nan: Well, that bath didn't pay for itself. Suckers!!
                            Last edited by Stillhomewardbound; 28-01-13, 23:39. Reason: Replacement of 'wotsits' with 'tits'. Well, it is 2013 and I think we can cope with this more comical twist.

                            Comment

                            • amateur51

                              #15
                              Originally posted by Stillhomewardbound View Post
                              I love the mini-soap-opera that surely must come with one of those walk-in baths.

                              "Oh Nan!! How many times? You're meant to let the water out first!

                              Nan: Well, I does too.

                              "Yes, but by pulling the plug! Not swinging the door open."

                              Nan: Oh I can't be done with that waiting for the water to drain. Sitting there shivering me wotsits off? Not right at my age. Not when I got me emails to check.

                              "Oh, Nan ... Not another Nigerian email scam operation again.

                              Nan: Well, that bath didn't pay for itself. Suckers!!
                              excellent shb!

                              Comment

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