On Turning Fifty ...

[Dave2002]

I have heard people read out credit card numbers and the security code or bank account details on buses and trains. Once on a bus someone was trying to get what I assumed was his assistant to order airline tickets. On a train a girl was giving out a number to her friend, and during the conversation remarked that "oh, it's my mum's card".

I suppressed the temptation to ask if they could repeat the first few numbers and give me their address as well!

[amateur51]

Oh MrGongGong!!

What a wonderful service you have done your fellow citizens by providing these links. They're getting printed just as soon as I can manage.

Up to now my strategy has been the 'Mrs.Fawlty' technique, filling these bores' rare gaps in their conversation with 'Oh, I knoowwwww!', 'Well, I mean he doesn't deserve you' & 'Well, I don't know why you put up with it'.

I really wonder why we put up with it sometimes. More and more, I'm think I've got to get a set of those noise-cancelling headphones. People will assume that I'm just listening to my 'soundz, innit', whereas I'm just enjoying the bliss of not having to listen to THEM.

Brilliant - The Silent Traveller Strikes

[Anna]

It's always quite funny, on the Swansea to Manchester Piccadilly train, people getting on round about Shrewsbury and watching them listening to mobile phone conversations going on in Welsh and the mutterings of "wtf are they talking about, bluddy foreigners, come over here and can't even speak the language!!"
I once shared a table on the train with Jeremey Vine, he never stopped talking on his mobile. I secretly stored away the information in case I could sell it to a tabloid!

[Resurrection Man]

Thanks, EA!

A very nice discussion going here which was very much what I wanted to generate.

........

The process has already begun. As of last monday, I left the day job and, for a time, at least, I am NOT a number - I am a FREE MAN!! [Cue 'The Prisoner' Theme]

I take my hat off to you, Sir and really hope it all works out well for you.

[Resurrection Man]

I was offered a seat on a tube, and I was so surprised that I refused rather brusquely. Then I thought I'd been a bit hasty - so I did thank the person who'd offered me the seat as he got off.

....

Yes, same thing happened to me this year and I am embarrassed to admit that my response was the same as yours. I did feel very guilty afterwards and like you thanked the person.

[Resurrection Man]

A while ago, I was travelling down to London from Oxenholme by train, and a very loud mouthed business man spent almost the entire journey barking instructions down the phone, presumably to the hard pressed secretary in his office. He finally ran out of commands, and as we approached Watford he started to phone various friends " I'm in London tonight. are you free for dinner ? " They all refused.

I claim no originality for this but the last time this happened, the person on the phone down at the opposite end of the carriage speaking loudly down the phone "Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?" to which I replied in a very loud voice "We can all hear you"....cue laughter. End of loud phone conversation.

[amateur51]

I claim no originality for this but the last time this happened, the person on the phone down at the opposite end of the carriage speaking loudly down the phone "Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?" to which I replied in a very loud voice "We can all hear you"....cue laughter. End of loud phone conversation.

[Flosshilde]

A while ago, I was travelling down to London from Oxenholme by train, and a very loud mouthed business man spent almost the entire journey barking instructions down the phone, presumably to the hard pressed secretary in his office. He finally ran out of commands, and as we approached Watford he started to phone various friends " I'm in London tonight. are you free for dinner ? " They all refused.

Last time I travelled South I was in the Quiet Carriage (as always). Shortly after we left Glasgow the man in the seat behind me started a mobile phone conversation. I pointed out that it was the quiet carriage. "I'm talking quietly" he said. I glared & hissed at him "You're not supposed to use it at all." He got up & finished out side the carriage

[scottycelt]

Last time I travelled South I was in the Quiet Carriage (as always). Shortly after we left Glasgow the man in the seat behind me started a mobile phone conversation. I pointed out that it was the quiet carriage. "I'm talking quietly" he said. I glared & hissed at him "You're not supposed to use it at all." He got up & finished out side the carriage

Dearie me ... you utter brute, Flossie ... it must have been a horrible experience for those employed to search for the poor man's remains.

[Beef Oven]

Dearie me ... you utter brute, Flossie ... it must have been a horrible experience for those employed to search for the poor man's remains.

Good job it was OUTSIDE Glasgow, or Flossie would've got her face pushed in!!

[Nick Armstrong]

Good job it was OUTSIDE Glasgow, or Flossie would've got her face pushed in!!

[Flosshilde]

Dearie me ... you utter brute, Flossie ... it must have been a horrible experience for those employed to search for the poor man's remains.

Reminds me of the (probably apocryphal) story of the person who was being annoyed by some very noisy children during a flight - "Why don't you go and play outside?"

[amateur51]

Last time I travelled South I was in the Quiet Carriage (as always). Shortly after we left Glasgow the man in the seat behind me started a mobile phone conversation. I pointed out that it was the quiet carriage. "I'm talking quietly" he said. I glared & hissed at him "You're not supposed to use it at all." He got up & finished out side the carriage

You mean he was outside the carriage, outside the train hanging on to the door?!?

[Stillhomewardbound]

There's that very funny routine from other times by Victoria Wood of the amorous couple on a train who take things a little too far, undressing each other leading to passionate kisses and ultimately to full-on intercourse.

Meanwhile in the rest of the crowded carriage heads are buried deeper into books, newspapers raised ever higher, and others stare intently out of the window, all the epitome of British restraint even as the female's climatic cries finally shatter the silence.

The exhausted couple re-attire themselves and slump back in their seats and just as they're about to strike up a post-coital cigarette, an elderly gent shoots up, trembling, 'Now, you have gone TOO far. This is a NO SMOKING carriage!!'

[Eine Alpensinfonie]

63 today.