On Turning Fifty ...

[Lateralthinking1]

I'm somewhat in the middle here, as I've moved on a bit more than a decade. I still have friends and family who are considerably older than I am, though parents and in-laws and a few uncles and aunts have "gone ahead". I'm still hoping to "do something" - though don't know what, or perhaps also "why". We're all very different in some ways. Some people won't have resources (finance, opportunities), others won't know what to do with what they've got. Money doesn't make you happy, but it helps. Travel can be fun, but it doesn't necessarily mean you have a better life, or understand it better, and in any case is it really so essential for every individual to try to understand what life is all about?

Over 50 one may be vulnerable - particularly in harsh economic times. People hang on to jobs they don't really like, because the jobless alternative seems worse to them. Some people lose their jobs and find new ones, and others lose their jobs and perhaps lose their way too. Some have to live with illness or face up to it, or have to take on roles as carers for other people. For some 50 might be the age at which any children may have left home and start to make their own way in the world. This can be a joy and a pain. It is also - a sign of modern economics - possible that they [children] will return, and need help - accommodation, storage and wonga even into their thirties.

Some may decide to leave partners, or to change partners, and some will positively decide to stick. Some will drift - and just wonder what's going to happen next - or not.

Some people will want to like and be liked, but by 50 one may realise that this is not always possible. Most of us need to like and be liked by a few people - family, friends etc.

Like Lat, I personally still get very annoyed by incompetence, unfairness and and what I see as corruption. The one fairly significant thing which has changed for me is my attitude to the Queen. When I was younger I did not like the monarchy, but now I feel that it's more benign than having elected presidents or other systems which other countries have. I also have great admiration for anyone who can stand upright for hours in the rain at a rather more advanced age than my own. I certainly cannot stand upright in one place for more than a few minutes [tested on occasion, such as at the Proms, weddings, other social occasions etc.], which clearly the Queen and the Duke of E were able to do earlier this year. This hasn't made me a royalist, but I wish her well nevertheless.

The UK has its problems - but for most of us it presents a fairly comfortable environment in which to live. Many living in other parts of the world are much less fortunate, perhaps because of poverty, corruption, or cultural attitudes.

Lastly, feelings, anxieties, concerns etc. can be just as strong as they were decades ago, and this seems also to be the case for others who are ten or twenty years older than I am now. It may, however, be the case that one's physical and mental abilities do seem to be reduced, and there may come a time when it is necessary to face up to this. At fifty, for many, it is still possible to achieve a lot in the future, so face up not give up - enjoy life and strive is what I'd suggest.

50 is only 8+42, which we hear is the answer to just about everything. Cheers to everyone - whatever age!

I think that this is a very good post, not least because it looks at people in the round. I agree with much of it including the point made about the Queen. At the same time, I can't help but have an idea in my mind of many in high positions, and not necessarily always very high positions, sailing from the cradle to the grave. Cabinet Ministers, Chief Executives, Company Directors, Heads of Departments....not all but many have bags of luck. For example, what personal difficulties has Tony Blair at 59 really had to face?

On liking and being liked I am not so sure. I would say that until they turned 80, both my parents appeared to like 95% of people and at least felt liked by a similar percentage. That has fallen in the past two years quite noticeably but I still find it remarkable. It might to some extent be generational as it is far from unique. I have compared notes with a wide range of others on this matter.

I also accept salymap's comments in the spirit that they were made. There was a sports programme recently in which people over the age of 70 were invited to speak about their current participation in sport. One is playing football at 74 and has scored at least one goal in every season since his teens. There were also quite a few runners and swimmers who are well over the age of 80.

[Stillhomewardbound]

Thanks, EA!

A very nice discussion going here which was very much what I wanted to generate.

My first objective of my early fifties is to get myself out of the hole I fell into when I turned forty. Up to then I had been a radio producer and married. Unfortunately that marriage came apart, or perhaps more accurately, I took it apart as I came to terms with being a gay man. At the very same time, I was made redundant from my radio job. Then it seemed more of a relief than anything else. I did try for some other radio jobs but without success. I also realised that I was at the wrong end of the age spectrum in an industry which was becoming obsessed with youth. In a bid to try something completely new I joined P&O Cruises as one of their Entertainments Officers. I suppose I really ran away to sea. At first, it was very novel and glamourous but after just over a year I realised, no matter the distances and the wonderful destinations, one was just going around in circles. So, back to blighty I went. With my resources running very low I had to take a job in a call centre. Well, to cut a long story short, in employment terms, for the last eight years that's where I've got stuck. I wasn't altogether lost for ambition as during that time I took an interest in photography and developed my skills to a semi-pro level with a particular talent for studio work. Well, there was another wrong turn. Thanks mostly to the rise of the internet, the print and photography trade is so quickly dying. In tandem with that demise, taking pictures has become a new mass-movement. Everybody's doing it and publishers and internet producers are not wanting to pay for pictures anymore. All in all, it feels rather, as in Noel Coward's song, there's nothing but 'black birds over the greyish cliffs of Dover'.

Well, that's the story so far. Now, I would have to say that in those years I have worked intensively on a number of creative endeavours. The misery of call centre work has been relieved by my extra-curricular activities. It's just the financial situation which has proved so challenging. Thank God, I have had only a small mortgage to maintain, but still, too often when some thing broke in the flat, it had to stay broke. However, before I have us all wringing out our hankies, something has happened which may well help me get out of that goddam hole.

After a long wait, the estate of my late parents has finally been settled and I have been the beneficiary of a degree of 'quantitive easing'.

So, here's what I'm doing next. Basically, I'm giving myself the next two years to establish myself in a portmanteau freelance career. Essentially, I envisage that it might be based on a a quarter photography work, a quarter journalism, a quarter broadcasting and a final segment which will be singing/cabaret. Now, these are each fields I have a certain proven proficiency in and the two-year span is specifically intended to give me an adequate grace period to put myself about and become established in those fields. If I'd said just a year, I'd be fretting after six months. Whereas twelve months in I'l be able to review my progress, make such adjustments as might be necessary, and still have good time, should it be required, to return to the work place and hopefully at a much better level.

I suppose its an ambitious plan and quite expensive at that, but I think not to follow such a course would be a dereliction in itself. This is an investment in time and availability and as long as I've struggled with a day job (currently 45 hours a week, and for a pittance at that) those are the things I've been without and the cause of my terrible inertia.

Aside, from all of that, I think I owe it to my devoted parents to use that money and try and make a difference.

The process has already begun. As of last monday, I left the day job and, for a time, at least, I am NOT a number - I am a FREE MAN!! [Cue 'The Prisoner' Theme]

[Petrushka]

Thanks for sharing this with us, SHB, and all good wishes in the course you have chosen.

After the age if 50 employment prospects can be uncertain and for many, like me, disillusionment sets in (poor management, bad pay, heavy travel costs and more) and it becomes a countdown to retirement or a fervent wish for the redundancy cheque. It takes courage to take a new path after 50 so best of luck.

[Flosshilde]

SHB - that's a very moving and a very positive story - you may not think so but you've dealt with some pretty major changes (including the death of your parents, which you rather gloss over?). Congratulations on what you've achieved so far, and good luck with your future endeavours.

[amateur51]

Aside, from all of that, I think I owe it to my devoted parents to use that money and try and make a difference.

The process has already begun. As of last monday, I left the day job and, for a time, at least, I am NOT a number - I am a FREE MAN!! [Cue 'The Prisoner' Theme]

Attaboy, Shb! Seize the moment and give fortune a chance!

I wish you all the very best of luck with it, My 50s went awry with health problems but who can predict these. Now entering my 62nd year I'm enjoying life enormously and the constraining health & financial factors don't seem to blight my life, rather they give it a shape, that's all!

Happy Birthday (and to Lat too) ... and your childhood pic is wonderful, full of optimism and faith in the future

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

The process has already begun. As of last monday, I left the day job and, for a time, at least, I am NOT a number - I am a FREE MAN!! [Cue 'The Prisoner' Theme]

[salymap]

Go for it SHB - it's in your genes after all.

[Lateralthinking1]

Yes very best wishes in your endeavours shb. You have coped well with at least four areas of significant upheaval in a decade and will therefore continue to do so. My comment on entertainment might need clarification. What I meant was that people involved in the business know that it is first and foremost work, however enjoyable it might be. That isn't always appreciated by the viewer or listener, nor in a sense is it meant to be if the job is being done effectively. Any "magic" that there is resides in the delivery.

There is a big political point to make of your experience, Petrushka's, mine and that of half a dozen others on this forum to my knowledge. It is that redundancy is happening to hundreds of thousands of people at 50 and increasingly at 40, it is the direct consequence of Government policy and MPs haven't got any policy at all to address it. Meanwhile I note that among the numerous politicians with honours this morning were many who had notorious expenses claims. Those who rule us live in a different world.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/jim-paice-mp-beats-expenses-1502613

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5293973/Margaret-Becketts-600-claim-for-hanging-baskets-and-pot-plants-MPs-expenses.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2142632/Armed-Forces-Minister-claimed-7-expenses-attending-Remembrance-Sunday-service-constituency.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1291791/Youre-turning-MPs-visiting-squires.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5587929/MPs-expenses-Richard-Shepherd-paid-back-162-for-gardening-and-cleaning.html

http://parliament.telegraph.co.uk/mpsexpenses/second-home/Angela-Watkinson/mp-11308

[salymap]

Redundancy is not new though Lat, I and my colleagues suffered this about three times in my working life.
Music publishers were taken over, valuable sites in London were sold off to developers, firms went bust.

The difference was that it was relatively easy to move from one job to another if one had the experience and confidence to approach another firm. Now that would probably not be possible.

[Lateralthinking1]

Redundancy is not new though Lat, I and my colleagues suffered this about three times in my working life.
Music publishers were taken over, valuable sites in London were sold off to developers, firms went bust.

The difference was that it was relatively easy to move from one job to another if one had the experience and confidence to approach another firm. Now that would probably not be possible.

Yes I agree and I do appreciate that it wasn't all plain sailing in earlier times. Personally, I would have coped better had I not been in the public sector. The Government is putting intolerable pressures on people not to work any longer so one is forced to comply. At the same time you switch on the radio every day to hear that it cannot tolerate people not being in work. Being on the end of it has felt akin to being in a relationship with someone who is frighteningly mad. Mostly, it is best to try to ignore it but it isn't easy.

Had it been, say, an insurance company there would have been more of a sense of separation. The private sector is at least one step removed from the state. And the psychological impacts, which are underestimated, will need to be addressed. I think they will become generally apparent, with suitable public outrage, specifically in regard to members of the armed forces. Some are being forced out five or six days before their 40th birthdays when to have gone past that point would have meant security for years. The double whammy is that the retirement age is simultaneously being made later. Frankly I am surprised there is social stability.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/soldier-sacked-by-army-72-hours-1389909

[teamsaint]

Yes I agree and I do appreciate that it wasn't all plain sailing in earlier times. Personally, I would have coped better had I not been in the public sector. The Government is putting intolerable pressures on people not to work any longer so one is forced to comply. At the same time you switch on the radio every day to hear that it cannot tolerate people not being in work. Being on the end of it has felt akin to being in a relationship with someone who is frighteningly mad. Mostly, it is best to try to ignore it but it isn't easy.

Had it been, say, an insurance company there would have been more of a sense of separation. The private sector is at least one step removed from the state. And the psychological impacts, which are underestimated, will need to be addressed. I think they will become generally apparent, with suitable public outrage, specifically in regard to members of the armed forces. Some are being forced out five or six days before their 40th birthdays when to have gone past that point would have meant security for years. The double whammy is that the retirement age is simultaneously being made later. Frankly I am surprised there is social stability.

.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news...-hours-1389909

So far.

[mangerton]

As Lt1 said in #38, those who rule us live in a different world. A few minutes ago, I heard the PM's New Year message. According to him, we are doing well and can look forward to 2013 with optimism.

How out of touch can these people be? It frightens me that they are running the country. Their self delusion is appalling.

Before I'm accused of supporting the other lot - any other lot! - let me add that Milliband and his outfit appear to be equally clueless.

[Stillhomewardbound]

LT ... I'd have to agree with many of the points you raise and I've just spent a half-hour trying to formulate a response but given up. There is just too much that one can say.

Petrushka, Flosshilde, Am51, Ferneyhough and Salymap - thank you so much for all your kind wishes and encouragement. :))

[Resurrection Man]

50? 60? I'm not sure that it matters provided that one doesn't let other people's expectations and limitations influence oneself. Too many of my contemporaries, like me, are in their 60's but their mental outlook is such that they've already started hammering the nails in the coffin. I rarely see them now.

[johncorrigan]

50? 60? I'm not sure that it matters provided that one doesn't let other people's expectations and limitations influence oneself. Too many of my contemporaries, like me, are in their 60's but their mental outlook is such that they've already started hammering the nails in the coffin. I rarely see them now.

I often feel I'm pretty lucky working in a job with a lot of young people - they offer me a positive view of my skills, and I hope I do likewise for them. Recently I approached and passed 60 and I found people (friends and extended family mainly) asking how long I intended to continue working - or more precisely, 'When do you intend to retire?'

I may be deluding myself, but feel that I'm doing some of the best work of my life; and my work keeps me from pursuing that great killer of older people (especially males) - isolation. As human beings we need human contact and should try to encourage that cross generational contact, otherwise the negative views of aging will persist; and while I'm not on some evangelical-like quest, it is crucial that we learn and use the skills of the various ages.

Young people tend to get views of age which is related to the problems of aging rather than the various aspects of it - that many of us still want to continue to pursue new horizons. We ran an event a few weeks back bringing together people of all ages for a cafe-style conversation and it was a joy to see folk in their 60s and 70s engaged in positive dialogue with teens and 20s looking for and finding areas of agreement and ways forward.

Unfortunately sports centres (and society) often don't cater well for those of us who can no longer run or jump as much as we used to, and we become consigned to the slow lane in the pool increasing the isolation further. Women seem more able to deal with this effect of aging than men; they tend to be more sociable - men find it more difficult to fill the gaps and can end up slumped in front of the box.

Many of us have the skills, if not as much energy as we'd like, to change society's attitude to aging. Rather than allow the media and politicians to paint the image of older people being society's burden, we need to show that there are a range of skills and attributes that make positive differences to society - and we can continue to enjoy ourselves at the same time.