Phrases/words that set your teeth on edge.

[ahinton]

A friend of mine is a sculptor
He has worked alone for many many years in a studio in his back garden, he tends to work at an incredibly "geological" pace BUT his work is truly wonderful
The "deal" he had with his partner was that he would do all the kitchen tasks while making work and she went out to work for £
Several years ago he sold a big sculpture to David Bowie
He went and bought a dishwasher

Better not tell our esteemèd fhg!

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Better not tell our esteemèd fhg!

He already has!

[ahinton]

He already has!

Oh, mon Dieu; why has my cal gone?

[french frank]

I haven't got enough crockery: one cereal/soup bowl, one side plate, one dinner plate and a cup and saucer. They're washed and left to drain until the next meal when I use them again Oh, and two glasses, one for red and one for white.

[Serial_Apologist]

I haven't got enough crockery: one cereal/soup bowl, one side plate, one dinner plate and a cup and saucer. They're washed and left to drain until the next meal when I use them again Oh, and two glasses, one for red and one for white.

When you have people over for meals, do you share a bit of your plates with them? Or ask them to bring their own?

[P. G. Tipps]

A friend of mine is a sculptor
He has worked alone for many many years in a studio in his back garden, he tends to work at an incredibly "geological" pace BUT his work is truly wonderful
The "deal" he had with his partner was that he would do all the kitchen tasks while making work and she went out to work for £
Several years ago he sold a big sculpture to David Bowie
He went and bought a dishwasher
He has now made many more extraordinary works

My wife won't let me near the kitchen because, she says, 'men are completely useless there'

I find such attitudes outrageously old-fashioned, sexist and misandrist but, in the interests of good marital relations, I would certainly never dream of complaining.

[Daniel]

'We are currently experiencing a high level of calls and apologise for the delay in answering your call' ... which seems to me a tooth-botheringly specious translation of, 'If it's not already blindingly obvious, we haven't employed enough people'.

[ahinton]

My wife won't let me near the kitchen because, she says, 'men are completely useless there'

I find such attitudes outrageously old-fashioned, sexist and misandrist but, in the interests of good marital relations, I would certainly never dream of complaining.

Has your wife never heard of such luminaries as Marcus Wareing, Michel Roux Jr., Raymond Blanc, Michael Caines (yes, the one with the "s"), or even Jamie Oliver? If so, has her astonishingly sheltered life resuled from your keeping her locked up in the coal cellar?

[ahinton]

'We are currently experiencing a high level of calls and apologise for the delay in answering your call' ... which seems to me a tooth-botheringly specious translation of, 'If it's not already blindingly obvious, we haven't employed enough people'.

Yes, it's already quite bad enough whenever a pre-recorded voice "apologises" for anything as though it could do so; it's just as bad when another (or in some cases the same) one seeks to persuade the caller that his/her "call is important to us" (although I think that that one's already been covered upthread) - important to "us" what? - pre-recorded voices in general?...

When I actually got one of these recently from a pre-recorded voice stating that "we are currently experiencing and unprecedentedly high volume of calls" I immadiately thought that, had the call instead been answered by a doubtless grossly underpaid call centre staff member in India or the Philippines, the almost equally pre-recorded response (as read from the script provided) would not likely have included any six-syllable words...

[P. G. Tipps]

Has your wife never heard of such luminaries as Marcus Wareing, Michel Roux Jr., Raymond Blanc, Michael Caines (yes, the one with the "s"), or even Jamie Oliver? If so, has her astonishingly sheltered life resuled from your keeping her locked up in the coal cellar?

Dunno about the wife, and I don't have a coal cellar, but I confess that I haven't heard of some of these 'luminaries' either, ahinton.

[jean]

Dunno about the wife...

I suspect she's a myth.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

I suspect she's a myth.

No - a "Mythyth"

[Beef Oven!]

"Can take positives"

[Serial_Apologist]

"The bad news is, Joey here is going to have to remove your boll cack..."

I've never been able to figure why it is that advertisers make "humorous" adverts.

Seen the first time, they're funny, to some people. (Maybe). The second time, merely amusing. Thereafter - like any repeated joke, as anybody can tell you - more and more irritating on each showing. The above one for an insurance company, which has been showing for so long most of the actors are probably either dead or very old, now has me seizing the remote the moment that presumably famous American actor I've never heard of appears on the doorstep; others have me either rushing out of the room or fantasising what I would do were I to have a brick to hand.

[Sir Velo]

'We are currently experiencing a high level of calls "... .

Usually replaced by the grammatically incorrect "high call volumes"