Phrases/words that set your teeth on edge.

[teamsaint]

Indeed.

We are where we are, and must make the best of it.

must we?

or should we?

[teamsaint]

" Welcome aboard This three coach service "

which is SW trains shorthand for " this six coaches worth of passengers being transported on a three coach service".

( with subtext " and with a completely empty first class coach towards the rear of the train").

[jean]

must we?

I don't think we have any choice.

[MrGongGong]

Much better than 47.

Surely you mean 42?

[Serial_Apologist]

" Welcome aboard This three coach service "

which is SW trains shorthand for " this six coaches worth of passengers being transported on a three coach service".

( with subtext " and with a completely empty first class coach towards the rear of the train").

Well at least the message reads "coaches" rather than "carriages" - a common mistake that is made, confusing the vehicle (coach) with its compartments (carriages). Well, that's what my dad told me, many years ago.

[Serial_Apologist]

Surely you mean 42?

Only if you're levelling with us.

[MrGongGong]

Only if you're levelling with us.

It's Mark

[ardcarp]

which is SW trains shorthand for " this six coaches worth of passengers being transported on a three coach service".

Getting the last train home from Waterloo to Exeter...apart from the fact it stops at many Betjeman-esque backwaters along the way...is a sort of nightmare. Firstly you stare at a departure board which grudgingly lets you know what platform it's leaving from about 3 minutes before the off. As you hurry through the barrier there is NO SUGGESTION that three of the six coaches are not going to Exeter at all. It is not until you have squeezed aboard, shoved your bags on a woefully inadequate overhead thingy, negotiated mutely with The Opposite Person which side of the opposite knees you are going to put your knees, and wondered whether to risk touching the sticky formica what-passes-for-a table, that a distorted announcement informs you that you have to be in the FRONT THREE coaches, as the back three are being disconnected in Salisbury and will probably end up somewhere in the English Channel. You are not quite sure which is the FRONT or the BACK by this time. Anyone who might know is already plugged into their tablets, i-phones or cheese sandwiches. By Basingstoke, so many more passengers have piled aboard, it's a bit like one of those Bombay Railways that BBC4 is so fond of, and you begin to wonder if the only way to attain the FRONT THREE carriages is to climb onto the roof and hope a tunnel isn't approaching.

How does a FOREIGN VISITOR ever negotiate our transport system??? Am I bleating on the wrong thread????? Aaarrrgghh.

Oh, and by the way, the Last Train Home leaves at around 7.30pm. It rather cuts out the night-life.

[ahinton]

Getting the last train home from Waterloo to Exeter...apart from the fact it stops at many Betjeman-esque backwaters along the way...is a sort of nightmare. Firstly you stare at a departure board which grudgingly lets you know what platform it's leaving from about 3 minutes before the off. As you hurry through the barrier there is NO SUGGESTION that three of the six coaches are not going to Exeter at all. It is not until you have squeezed aboard, shoved your bags on a woefully inadequate overhead thingy, negotiated mutely with The Opposite Person which side of the opposite knees you are going to put your knees, and wondered whether to risk touching the sticky formica what-passes-for-a table, that a distorted announcement informs you that you have to be in the FRONT THREE coaches, as the back three are being disconnected in Salisbury and will probably end up somewhere in the English Channel. You are not quite sure which is the FRONT or the BACK by this time. Anyone who might know is already plugged into their tablets, i-phones or cheese sandwiches. By Basingstoke, so many more passengers have piled aboard, it's a bit like one of those Bombay Railways that BBC4 is so fond of, and you begin to wonder if the only way to attain the FRONT THREE carriages is to climb onto the roof and hope a tunnel isn't approaching.

How does a FOREIGN VISITOR ever negotiate our transport system??? Am I bleating on the wrong thread????? Aaarrrgghh.

Oh, and by the way, the Last Train Home leaves at around 7.30pm. It rather cuts out the night-life.

But assuming that you're actually going to Exeter itself, why use that route when there's a perfectly decent one from Paddington to Exeter whose last departure of the day is the overnight sleeper to Penzance and which is much faster and less uncomfortable?

[P. G. Tipps]

But assuming that you're actually going to Exeter itself, why use that route when there's a perfectly decent one from Paddington to Exeter whose last departure of the day is the overnight sleeper to Penzance and which is much faster and less uncomfortable?

Even if on this occasion a notable fondness for assumption is justified, ahinton ... and judging by ardcarp's very first words it might well be so ... it also could be so that the timing of the superior trains, the comparative virtues of which you rightly extol, are not convenient for the forum member when he/she is intending or even obliged to travel?

Sometimes choice is cruelly denied us and, in any case, ardcarp's description of his/her rail experiences very much match some of my own on the wretchedly slow train from Paddington to Maidenhead when no fast train is on offer at that particular time?

Forgive me for being so boldly contradictory, ahinton, but life, not least the attainment of decent, comfortable rail travel, can sometimes be rather more complicated than you appear to suggest here?

[teamsaint]

Getting the last train home from Waterloo to Exeter...apart from the fact it stops at many Betjeman-esque backwaters along the way...is a sort of nightmare. Firstly you stare at a departure board which grudgingly lets you know what platform it's leaving from about 3 minutes before the off. As you hurry through the barrier there is NO SUGGESTION that three of the six coaches are not going to Exeter at all. It is not until you have squeezed aboard, shoved your bags on a woefully inadequate overhead thingy, negotiated mutely with The Opposite Person which side of the opposite knees you are going to put your knees, and wondered whether to risk touching the sticky formica what-passes-for-a table, that a distorted announcement informs you that you have to be in the FRONT THREE coaches, as the back three are being disconnected in Salisbury and will probably end up somewhere in the English Channel. You are not quite sure which is the FRONT or the BACK by this time. Anyone who might know is already plugged into their tablets, i-phones or cheese sandwiches. By Basingstoke, so many more passengers have piled aboard, it's a bit like one of those Bombay Railways that BBC4 is so fond of, and you begin to wonder if the only way to attain the FRONT THREE carriages is to climb onto the roof and hope a tunnel isn't approaching.

How does a FOREIGN VISITOR ever negotiate our transport system??? Am I bleating on the wrong thread????? Aaarrrgghh.

Oh, and by the way, the Last Train Home leaves at around 7.30pm. It rather cuts out the night-life.

Ok, so SW trains do have an insanely busy service to run, BUT everything you say about the Exeter service rings completely true, and also rings true even for those services that run only to Salisbury or Yeovil.
Almost never enough coaches, and only experience to tell you to check which ones might actually leave waterloo, or continue to your destination.
I'm quite lucky as there are trains back to Salisbury leaving very late, but nothing leaves for west of Salisbury much after 9. I have asked experts why nothing goes to yeovil or Exeter later on, for which there surely is a market, and it seems to boil down to the fact that they dont really want to, and having very long overnight gaps for maintenance. Apparently.

Oh,and the evening trains always smell of chips and so on,not very nice.

Good tip about how to get to the front three coaches,Ards........

[Pabmusic]

Ok, so SW trains do have an insanely busy service to run, BUT everything you say about the Exeter service rings completely true, and also rings true even for those services that run only to Salisbury or Yeovil...

Puts me in mind of something... Now, what was it?

We got to Waterloo at eleven, and asked where the eleven-five started from. Of course nobody knew; nobody at Waterloo ever does know where a train is going to start from, or where a train when it does start is going to, or anything about it. The porter who took our things thought it would go from number two platform, while another porter, with whom he discussed the question, had heard a rumour that it would go from number one. The station-master, on the other hand, was convinced it would start from the local.

To put an end to the matter, we went upstairs, and asked the traffic superintendent, and he told us that he had just met a man, who said he had seen it at number three platform. We went to number three platform, but the authorities there said that they rather thought that train was the Southampton express, or else the Windsor loop. But they were sure it wasn’t the Kingston train, though why they were sure it wasn’t they couldn’t say.

Then our porter said he thought that must be it on the high-level platform; said he thought he knew the train. So we went to the high-level platform, and saw the engine-driver, and asked him if he was going to Kingston. He said he couldn’t say for certain of course, but that he rather thought he was. Anyhow, if he wasn’t the 11.5 for Kingston, he said he was pretty confident he was the 9.32 for Virginia Water, or the 10 a.m. express for the Isle of Wight, or somewhere in that direction, and we should all know when we got there. We slipped half-a-crown into his hand, and begged him to be the 11.5 for Kingston.

“Nobody will ever know, on this line,” we said, “what you are, or where you’re going. You know the way, you slip off quietly and go to Kingston.”

“Well, I don’t know, gents,” replied the noble fellow, “but I suppose SOME train’s got to go to Kingston; and I’ll do it. Gimme the half-crown.”

Thus we got to Kingston by the London and South-Western Railway.

Jerome K. Jerome,
Three Men in a Boat

Was he prescient, or is it a tradition at Waterloo?

[ahinton]

Even if on this occasion a notable fondness for assumption is justified, ahinton ... and judging by ardcarp's very first words it might well be so ... it also could be so that the timing of the superior trains, the comparative virtues of which you rightly extol, are not convenient for the forum member when he/she is intending or even obliged to travel?

Given the frequency of the Paddington to Exeter trains, I cannot imagine why they'd be less convenient...

[Ferretfancy]

Back on thread for a moment, there's a new buzz word going the rounds -DECONFLICTION. Apparently it's hoped that this deconflicting will bring piece to the Middle East if used properly, but unfortunately nobody knows quite how.

[ardcarp]

The porter who took our things

Porters? What are they?

(BTW, for those wondering why I don't use the Paddington route, it's 'cos I live 20 miles short of the great city of Exeter and the Waterloo route involves less car-driving and parking.)