Phrases/words that set your teeth on edge.

[Sir Velo]

Seems respectable enough to me!

It's Jean's dirty mind at work.

[Radio64]

"How may I help yew?" I always mentally hear it in a Brooklyn accent ...

I think the British way used to be, on the phone, statement of name and/or business with an enquiring rise in intonation which invited the caller to proceed. In a department store it would have been, 'Good morning, madam' - again with the same rise in intonation.

Or, 'Can I help you?' or 'Do you need any help?'

No no! Non-question utterances with a rise in intonation no!

Actually I often teach students to keep a falling intonation even in some questions, eg. "Can I help you?" "What's your name?" Italians (them again) have an automatic rise to the end odd the question, but it's very un-British.

[french frank]

No no! Non-question utterances with a rise in intonation no!

I disagree. In certain contexts, there is an implied question. So, on the phone, you wouldn't say, 'Good morning madam' and then put the phone down. The rise implies a question.

E.gs.

You're coming. (statement, typically spoken with falling intonation)
You're coming? (question, typically spoken with rising intonation)

See ...

Actually I often teach students to keep a falling intonation even in some questions, eg. "Can I help you?" "What's your name?" Italians (them again) have an automatic rise to the end odd the question, but it's very un-British.

Not according to this:

"Questions may also be indicated by a different intonation pattern. This is generally a pattern of rising intonation. It applies particularly to yes–no questions; the use of rising question intonation in yes–no questions has been suggested to be one of the universals of human languages."

This is distinct from the so-called 'Australian' high rising terminal, at the end of a sentence when there is no question.

[Radio64]

aargh yes it's that Australian thing I can't stand!

but I don't think "You're coming?" (question, typically spoken with rising intonation) is particularly good (British) English .. innit

cf. "I love classical music" "You do?" .... there, we're back OT with phrases that put you teeth on edge...!

[MrGongGong]

but I don't think "You're coming?"

lets not go there gentlemen

(reminds me of a rather rude joke about an Australian man)

One of my favourites is in a well known stationary shop where they always ask

"Did you find everything you were looking for?"
to which my replies are often of the

"No, I was looking for the free beer"
or
"No, I expected to find the love of Jesus lurking behind the reams of recycled A4"
or even
"No, I was looking for somewhere to have a quiet snooze"

variety

What a daft question

[Sir Velo]

One of my favourites is in a well known stationary shop

I'm glad to hear the shop wasn't moving, but what did it sell?

[jean]

"Did you find everything you were looking for?"

What a daft question

Not daft at all.

If you hadn't found what you were looking for, the salesperson might have been able to find it for you.

If you were looking for something that the shop clearly didn't set out to provide, it was you who were daft.

[jean]

"How may I help yew?"...

...'Can I help you?' or 'Do you need any help?'

The one I hate is 'May I help you?'

Asking permission to help someone else is just too obsequious. That's not the case with 'How may I help you?' where the need for help is assumed, and the only question is how the help may be delivered.

In Italy, 'Buon giorno, signora,' can be taken to mean 'Don't dare to leave this shop without buying something!'

(There are still in Italy many more of the sort of small shop where you are under the watchful eye of the proprietor from the moment you enter.)

.

[french frank]

I'm glad to hear the shop wasn't moving, but what did it sell?

Not toys, evidently:

"With varying vanities, from every part,
They shift the moving toyshop of their heart"

[BBMmk2]

my list will go on and on.........................

[MrGongGong]

Not daft at all.

If you hadn't found what you were looking for, the salesperson might have been able to find it for you.

If you were looking for something that the shop clearly didn't set out to provide, it was you who were daft.

It's the word EVERYTHING

unless it's a kind of John Lewis Hilbert Hotel shop

[jean]

It's the word EVERYTHING...

...that you were looking for. Which specifically excludes any of the many things that you (sensibly) didn't expect to find there.

I have more sympathy with those who object to the train staff reminding travellers leaving the train to take all your belongings with you.

Clearly they ought to say something more like such of your belongings as you brought onto the train with you when you boarded, or acquired in the course of your journey.

[Don Petter]

The, increasingly common, one which throws me is 'Is that everything?'.

I always feel that it is slightly incredulous and implies that I have overlooked something really obvious. I have to rack my brains, always without success, to think what it might be.

So I mutter a feeble 'Yes' and leave the shop, certain that the staff are now being told in the back room of the customer who forgot his XXX, and they are all falling about laughing at me.

[MrGongGong]

...that you were looking for. Which specifically excludes any of the many things that you (sensibly) didn't expect to find there.

I have more sympathy with those who object to the train staff reminding travellers leaving the train to take all your belongings with you.

Clearly they ought to say something more like such of your belongings as you brought onto the train with you when you boarded, or acquired in the course of your journey.

That includes the rather nice laptop I nicked on the way home while it's owner was in the toilet then ?


No it doesn't

excludes any of the many things that you (sensibly) didn't expect to find there

because, as the great man said

"beauty is underfoot, wherever we take the trouble to look"

expect the unexpected and embrace the chaos

I didn't get where I am today by being "sensible"

[french frank]

The, increasingly common, one which throws me is 'Is that everything?'.

Or, with a rather different angle, the French, 'Et avec ça?' which carries the assumption that you can't yet have completed your order ... and you feel apologetic because you have