Groan's Dictionary of Music and Musicians - Revised Edition

[Flay]

Virtuoso - chaste

[scottycelt]

Brahmsian ... a Brucknerian cross-dresser.

[Flosshilde]

Virtuoso - chaste

virtue so-so - chased

(sorry - I know it's not a musical term)

[salymap]

Obbligato - I need to find a loo.

[Flay]

Unfinished work - ooer, I need that loo again!

[umslopogaas]

Dodecaphonic

Please deck one of those damn sound engineers


Fast movement

By 'eck, those laxatives do the trick!

[Roehre]

counterbassoon: lady hitting a lad somewhere....

[Flay]

Lyre - dishonest person

[salymap]

Kitchen Department - they won't even make you a cup of tea.

[Flay]

Flageolet - a Spaniard with a whip

[ahinton]

Toccata - Push chair for daughter who should be walking by now

Sorry, but that one's wrong; it's a piece dedicated to America's most senior living composer.

Anyway, here's more:

Tubax: It's for you, Sir Arnold.

Corno di bassetto: A horn for dogs to play.

Lusingando: Abandoning the first degree of a scale.

Velato: An ice cream improbably made from Velcro.

Étude: Don't make it bad.

Soprillo: A soprano that you can smoke.

Oboe: Not what you'd say to Alfie.

Philippe de Vitry: Mediæval French for Philip Glass.

Répétiteur: Modern French for Philip Glass.

Diminished triad: Far Eastern gang going out of fashion.


But we've mostly had musical terms here so far, whereas the dictionary is also for musicians - so:

Schönberg: Nice piece of jewellery.

Kodály: An inedible part of the fish.

Mozart: The art of constructing protective waterways surrounding castles.

Piston: (speaks for itself).

Elgar: Catalan train station.

Weelkes: Shellfish much enjoyed in Morningside.

Kleiber: Mountaineer with a head cold.

Dunstable: Piece of furniture at which idiots eat.

Rubbish: Comparative term for the music of Rubbra.

Ravel: To restore something unravelled to its original state.

Schoeck: To avoid doing one's duty.

Berlioz: Something belonging to Oliver Knussen.

Magnard: Exercise area in male prison.

Glazunov: No more Philip Glass, please!

[salymap]

Sorry, but that one's wrong; it's a piece dedicated to America's most senior living composer.

'To cart her about' No? Oh Carter - Okay

[Anna]

Harmonic Minor - Member of a Welsh Male Choir
Andante - daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Inferno
Syncopated? - try a high fibre diet
Playing a round - sleeping with the orchestra
Byrd - see Cage

[fugophile]

Counterpoint – choosing sweets

Invertible counterpoint: a choice of two sweets, where they can be consumed in either order without any second inversions or other types of stomach upset.

Stretto: not waiting to finish chewing the current sweet before starting the next one.

Suspension: a complete respite from the rustling sweet wrappers, but the inevitability with which it descends back to the noisy din has resulted in it being termed a "dissonance" by musicologists.

Dodecaphonic

Please deck one of those damn sound engineers

Tone row: A muscular oar, so powerful that it can counteract the currents of the sea of harmony.

Inverse Hexachordal Combinatoriality: A lottery ticket, which when combined with an inversion transformation at a particular transposition (determined by the bonus ball), yields the aggregate of the twelve winning numbers from the Wednesday and Saturday draws.

[Flay]

The editor of Groan's dictionary would like to express his thanks for the enthusiastic (if sometimes misguided) response to his request for contributions.

However more are needed, so please carry on.