Groan's Dictionary of Music and Musicians - Revised Edition

[Flay]

And Mr Flay would like to say: Brilliant additions folks!

Da Capo al Fine - nice hat, mister

Capriccio - a tiara

[notnerb]

rondo - late US president's favourite saying

da capo - conductor with links to the mafia

scordatura - away goal

meno mosso - weedkiller for lawns

mascagni - prevalence of violent criminals in a population

clarinet - sample bottle of beauty product

[EdgeleyRob]

Nonet - absent minded angler.

Serial music - Eastenders theme tune.

Rubato - foot massage.

Con moto - dodgy car dealer.

Finale - beer's run out,

Vivaldi - long live cheap supermarkets.

[Flay]

Groan's dictionary would like to point out that Rubato is in fact a symptom of Athlete's Foot

[Flay]

Mandolin - an unemployed gentleman

Mordent - the wife's car

Accelerando - forced celery

[Serial_Apologist]

Accelerando - forced celery

Rubato - delayed rhubarb

[Serial_Apologist]

Moto perpetuo - London traffic

[Roehre]

Viol : extended vice

Bax: unusually strong lager

Mahler: french sickness

[gurnemanz]

Duparc - leave the car outside
Missa Solemnis - a dull spinster
con fuoco - a lot of swearing

[umslopogaas]

Schutz, Schein and Scheidt, tallest on the left, shortest on the right, AT THE DOUBLE, you 'orrible lot!

[Serial_Apologist]

Mendelssohn - interfering

Schumann - cobblers

Hartmann - toughie

Tippett - worn by monks

Messiaen - a right untidy sorta person

(Composer's names aren't quite such fun really, are they? I can think up too many)

[umslopogaas]

Diminuendo

That's a really stupid suggestion!

[salymap]

Con Sordino - a very quiet woman

[Serial_Apologist]

Con Sordino - a very quiet woman

Are you getting mixed up with Cavatina?

[Flay]

A capella - a bonnet

Legato - ankle

Serpent - a frustrated gentleman