Life without television

[Frances_iom]

Technology developments would now make that possible, I guess. Would income to the Beeb fall? I suppose it could be offered alongside the licence fee, as an alternative....

almost certainly R3 would disappear - all channels would race to the bottom to attract audience - welcome to an American model with almost certainly a polarised media probably slightly to left + to right of UKIP.

[Don Petter]

There are a suite of cliches used by documentary makers that I am increasingly irritated by. The presenter gesticulating, or photographed in some absurdly dramatic position; unnecessary music (a bit dramatic if some important or scary fact is about to be reported); a boffin brought in to explain something technical, with the presenter usually either asking stupid questions or paraphrasing what the b has just said in case we didn't get it first time.

You forgot the speeded up clouds.

[Ferretfancy]

Don Petter
There's the scene at a railway station or a similar public space where everybody moves at the speed of light. In the days when this was shot on 16mm film, it would have
cost a fortune at the labs to produce the effect, now it's on digital it can be done at the press of a button.

My main gripe about music is that it's always the same crashing synthetic stuff, hugely over inflated and punctuated by loud whooshes. I spent quite a time when mixing documentaries myself, in trying to persuade directors that silence could be useful to enhance the value of a thought, but nowadays false majesty rules.

Take a look at the BBC 4 programme about the Antikythera Mechanism broadcast last week. A fascinating piece of archaeological research was explained logically by real authorities with very discreet use of calm music. This was a model of its kind, but we see that quality very rarely.

[teamsaint]

You forgot the speeded up clouds.

yes, how does that help?

[handsomefortune]

it helps viewers feel that time itself is going very fast 'just like' the clouds. that life is abnormally short and that viewers' lives are particularly trivial, of no significance whatsoever teamsaint.

whereas in fact, arguably most tv is utterly pointless, and the programme itself may actually be very slow, predictable, and cheaply made. according to tv edit staff, viewers may suspect that the programme is 'tedious, cheap and trivial' without the 'cloud rush' effect.

coincidentally, this very weekend, i was elated to hear my very first radio sleb own up to possessing NO mobile phone!! this omission was uttered by paul merton on 'just a minute'. i suspect merton may be in big trouble with beeb producers, nicholas parsons will have to stick up for him, and pretend paul was 'only acting'.

what ever next!!? slebs admitting live on air to not watching tv!

The presenter gesticulating,

i agree kernelbogey, this particular tactic has reached crisis point. probably beyond 'crisis' is actually at the 'red alert' toxic stage! fans of tv satirist chris morris may remember when the hand and arm waving was usually restricted to dark comedy about 'sex offenders signalling to each other, using a complex set of gestures' (as featured on 'brass eye')...but now this peculiar bad habit has apparently 'gone global', as a 'normal' style of tv presentation.

what are tv viewers to suspect exactly?

[kernelbogey]

The presenter gesticulating,

i agree kernelbogey, this particular tactic has reached crisis point. probably beyond 'crisis' is actually at the 'red alert' toxic stage! fans of tv satirist chris morris may remember when the hand and arm waving was usually restricted to dark comedy about 'sex offenders signalling to each other, using a complex set of gestures' (as featured on 'brass eye')...but now this peculiar bad habit has apparently 'gone global', as a 'normal' style of tv presentation.

what are tv viewers to suspect exactly?

This goes with the intermittent glance downwards, which cynics might think indicate an autocue on a trolley, but the hand-gestures demonstrate the presenter's alertness to the possibility of elephant traps casually laid for the presenter by the production staff.

[handsomefortune]

... a presenter having successfully avoided 'elephant traps' warrants crashing synthetic stuff, hugely over inflated and punctuated by loud whooshes. typically following closely behind, (if not, at random intervals).

if the camera should flip to the presenter while a boffin is speaking, the presenter sometimes 'nods the boffin along', but is obviously absolutely itching to have their turn again.

if anyone's unlucky enough to have to rely on local tv news, the woman presenter usually has to look on sympathetically at the man. but the same certainly doesn't apply in reverse.....(unless the male presenter is making a really duff wise crack, in which case he can acknowledge his colleague's presence, if only as a target).

[Serial_Apologist]

I have to say I find myself getting more and more irritated and frustrated by an interviewer's habit of interpolating little, "Yes, erm yes, yes, yes"s to signal the screechy person delivering instructions through the earpiece, such as "You've only got 6.777 seconds remaining before we switch to the next item; for god's sake get him to finish off the point he's making". This happened on this morning's Andrew Marr Show (sic) when he was interviewing Alister Darling. The listener/viewer's attention is immediately diverted away from anything of interest or gravity the interviewee may have to say - and in the case of Alister Darling, as happens he did - but prescheduled timings were far, far more important than having the state of the economy clearly explained to the ratings providers, who would doubtless switch off rather than glean any impression that they are being addressed as intelligent beings.

[Frances_iom]

as a non-TV viewer I tend to notice the comments in many radio newsclips which indicate that the reporter is actually making a video production and assuming that the audience can actually see what is happening (ie the radio audience is effectively ignored) - my other gripe is the use of audio 'flashbacks' in which we are given several extracts from contemporary news broadcasts whereas just a quick precis is all that is required - however I've given up hoping that radio might treat its audience as intelligent + sentient beings with a reasonably functioning memory(at least on R3 + R4 - other channels can continue with nursery language)

[Serial_Apologist]

my other gripe is the use of audio 'flashbacks' in which we are given several extracts from contemporary news broadcasts whereas just a quick precis is all that is required

The televisual equivalent of this is presentation of past footage through either a kind of visual gauze, or by pumping up its colour, contriving an impression that one has just succumbed to two LSD tabs dropped half an hour ago. Otherwise people just switching on might think it's actually happening now... presumably...

[amateur51]

The televisual equivalent of this is presentation of past footage through either a kind of visual gauze, or by pumping up its colour, contriving an impression that one has just succumbed to two LSD tabs dropped half an hour ago. Otherwise people just switching on might think it's actually happening now... presumably...

I get that sensation if I shake the Benylin bottle too hard before ingesting

[Serial_Apologist]

I get that sensation if I shake the Benylin bottle too hard before ingesting

So, following ingesting, you'd presumably be Benylin laden...

[amateur51]

So, following ingesting, you'd presumably be Benylin laden...

I'm working on a Benylin cocktail - such a pretty colour

[Nick Armstrong]

I'm working on a Benylin cocktail - such a pretty colour

Can't bear the fake cherry flavour!! Like Red Bull...

[Don Petter]

I'm working on a Benylin cocktail - such a pretty colour

Is that before or after it's done its job?