Chateau D'If - Here I Come

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  • gamba
    Late member
    • Dec 2010
    • 575

    Chateau D'If - Here I Come

    After the war government financial cuts limited the production of the more prestigious ( & costly ) documentary films. Hence I found myself working on some rather unusual projects, one of which was a film about Lourdes, directed by Guy Brenton. He would make all the official arrangements & meet me in Dunkirk ( he said ) except that he didn't - make any arrangements. These included permission to make a commercial film, import film stock, the van, equipment etc. plus a host of government & film union restrictions, all of which were ignored. I drove from London & across by ferry to Dunkirk. I presented myself to the French customs, who appeared to be expecting me & was duly arrested. Sat for hours in a goods yard, late at night, thunder & lightning, gendarme ( complete with pistol ) standing guard. Very dramatic !
    Eventually allowed to proceed to Paris but placed under ' open arrest ' prior to our trial. This would have been incredibly funny had I not been the major offender of the two accused. Hence, two days later, in the courtroom ;

    Interrogator; " What was the purpose of your film ? "
    GB; " To make a record of our holiday " - Oh dear, GB is desperately clutching at straws, a totally ludicrous excuse.
    Int. " What size film were you using, 8mm./ 9.5mm ? "
    GB. " It was larger than that"
    Int. " You mean 16 mm.? " Some indistinct muttering from GB, then Int. turning to me; " What size film have you brought with you ?"
    Me. " 35mm. "
    Int. " But that's for showing in the cinema ! How muich film did you bring with you ? The interrogator sounding cross.
    Me. Realising, oh well, here goes, " Thirtysix thousand feet " ( uproar, a mixture of groans, whistles & hysterical laughter ). He even made me repeat it, further laughter.
    Int. " You are expecting this court to believe all this was for a little film of your holiday ? You will remain under arrest whilst we investigate further. "

    Ultimately, the British Embassy intervened & we were able to continue our journey to Lourdes.
  • salymap
    Late member
    • Nov 2010
    • 5969

    #2
    Gamba,I do hope you have written a book with all your wonderful tales. If not, why not?

    saly

    Comment

    • gamba
      Late member
      • Dec 2010
      • 575

      #3
      Thanks salymap. Am afraid I have more on my mind at present - the result of the MRI scan two weeks ago; spinal stenosis, severe wear & tear, plus 3 disks not where they should be.

      If I remember rightly you too have have your problems.

      Comment

      • ferneyhoughgeliebte
        Gone fishin'
        • Sep 2011
        • 30163

        #4
        Gamba, I am so sorry to hear of your medical problems and I hope they prove treatable/manageable.

        Your superbly written and good-humoured reminiscences are a delight to read and a highlight of these 'boards.

        All Best Wishes.
        [FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]

        Comment

        • Nick Armstrong
          Host
          • Nov 2010
          • 26524

          #5
          Fascinating and hilarious!

          Thanks for another one, gamba!
          "...the isle is full of noises,
          Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
          Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
          Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

          Comment

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