The Decline Of Civilisation

[Flosshilde]

we may be thinking of two different things - in my experience, it isn't a manoeuvre at all.

That still counts as undertaking.

Joe Bloggs is sitting in lane 3 doing 65mph, I've come up in lane 2 or even 1 doing 70mph - it would be dangerous for me to go right out to lane 4 to get past him. (IMO)

That's the correct maneouvre, & not dangerous.

Anyway, what's wrong with 65mph? the speed limit is a maximum, not a suggested speed. (he says, a trifle pompously)

[amateur51]

Isn't there a story about them appearing at the Glasgow Pavilion, a notoriously difficult venue - one got booed & heckeld, & then the other came on stage, prompting the cry 'Oh God, there's two of them!'

Flossie I'm soooo glad to have your version because it's the one I used to tell until a far more 'assertive' (for which of course read loud-mouthed story poisoner ) friend would tell it about another duo.

The only variant I would suggest is the vernacular 'Oh Jings' rather than 'Oh God' but maybe mine is wrong?

[amateur51]

Part of my training as a waiter was never to ask a customer if they wanted stuffing

The only answers have to be "No thanks, I've just put one out" and "Chance would be a fine thing", interactions to be avoided at all costs, as your training indicated. Never give the customer a free shot

[amateur51]

Another part perhaps ought to have been to resist asking the customer "do you want frisée with that?"

I was never, though perhaps ought to have been, trained as a waiter; sometimes one has to wait for ages for performances...

[amateur51]

One used to hear "Gordon Bennett!" at times of incredulity but the other day I heard a matron from Salisbury Cathedral Close utter "Gordon Brown!"

[MrGongGong]

A PC relation to the nurses' "small scratch".

not sure whether this is a case of "too much information" ???

but when I had a vasectomy the doctor did say "you might feel a small prick"

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Anyway, what's wrong with 65mph? the speed limit is a maximum, not a suggested speed. (he says, a trifle pompously)

I understood that the outside lane was "for overtaking only"? Dawdling in it whilst faster traffic is using the inner lane(s) is poor driving - as the cartoon Public Information Films of the '60s made clear!

[Flosshilde]

I would suggest that if you were in the habit of feeling a prick, large or small, you wouldn't have needed a vasectomy

[scottycelt]

Flossie I'm soooo glad to have your version because it's the one I used to tell until a far more 'assertive' (for which of course read loud-mouthed story poisoner ) friend would tell about another duo.

The only variant I would suggest is the vernacular 'Oh Jings' rather than 'Oh God' but maybe mine is wrong?

It is, Amsy ..'jings' is an expletive almost solely used by the Broons and Oor Wullie and has never been part of the Glaswegian 'vernacular'... .the correct, if decidedly more blasphemous, utterance was, I believe .. 'Oh Christ!'. ... and, of course, very much more credible!

To be honest, though, I've long wondered about the veracity of some of those English comedians' tales about such pithy and earthy audience participation in Glasgow theatres, especially concerning the old and now long-gone Empire which was the original butt of many of their jokes ... but, hey, they don't half make for some good stories ..

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Never give the customer a free shot

In the 70s, my older brother had his own Sweet Shop. Revellers from nearby hostelries would often slur into his shop to demand (with every air of originality)
"Have you got Aniseed Balls?"

To which he would always reply,
"No. But I do have Mint Rocks."

[amateur51]

I would suggest that if you were in the habit of feeling a prick, large or small, you wouldn't have needed a vasectomy

[Flosshilde]

I understood that the outside lane was "for overtaking only"? Dawdling in it whilst faster traffic is using the inner lane(s) is poor driving - as the cartoon Public Information Films of the '60s made clear!

Ah, but Mercia made said that there were 4 lanes, & the culprit 'forcing' him/her to undertake, rather than carrying out the perfectly reasonable, legal & safe maneouvre of overtaking, was in the 3rd lane.

But yes, it is inconsiderate driving.

[amateur51]

In the 70s, my older brother had his own Sweet Shop. Revellers from nearby hostelries would often slur into his shop to demand (with every air of originality)
"Have you got Aniseed Balls?"

To which he would always reply,
"No. But I do have Mint Rocks."

Bless

[Don Petter]

Waiters putting down a plate and saying 'Enjoy'

I just mutter 'Shan't!' under my breath, and then feel much better and start with a mental clean slate, thus enjoying the dish, or not, as I think fit.

[Nick Armstrong]

'has to'? Sorry, but you don't 'have to' do any such thing - it's extremely dangerous both for you & the other driver (& I think it's still an offence, although there was some talk of it being allowed).


Worse, I think, are lorry drivers who try to overtake other lorries when they can only travel a couple of mph faster than them.


On my way home today (in a car) I thought of how irritating are drivers who don't know that they have indicators, & especially those who don't use them on leaving a roundabout (inconveniencing people waiting to enter the roundabout) and those who don't use them when they turn right at a junction, inconveniencing those waiting to leave the junction and endangering pedestrians trying to cross .

The driving aspect to this thread pushes quite a few of my buttons.

- 'Sanctimoniously' (I think that was the adverb) returning to the 'slow lane' only to pull out to overtake a second car almost immediately: much less indicative of a lack of civilisation or indeed intelligence than sitting endlessly in the centre lane. (To this extent - and I wasn't sure I would ever say this - I agree with Panjandrum).

- 'Undertaking' because cars in the faster lanes aren't going fast enough: mercia & ahinton! No no no! So dangerous! Occasionally - very occasionally - if the fast lane is nose-to-tail with morons in Mercedes and going very slowly, it makes sense to keep some sort of traffic flow by 'undertaking' with extreme caution.

- Lorry drivers overtaking others going 2mph slower: should be illegal!

- Numbskull drivers not indicating to leave a roundabout, change lanes etc: IS illegal (aka driving without due care) and makes me fume and bellow, esp when I am on my bike.