For about the third time in as many months, a passenger leaning out of a window in a speeding white van has shouted "alright mate" to me. At least it is different from that moment in October when two people got out of a van and grabbed me by the shoulders and the head before laughing it off. Their reasons remain entirely unknown following our "conversation" such as it was.
This has never happened before. Not in 48 years. Nothing like. It is beyond my comprehension. Each vehicle was different. Each passenger - white - was different although perhaps similar in type. On each occasion, I didn't know the person from Adam.
In each case, it has felt slightly sinister. Possibly the oddness of the context. Possibly the inability to reply as they raced by. Do they think they know me? Do I look like someone they know? Is it a case of mistaken identity? Is it just how they relate generally? I feel unsettled by it. It doesn't fit in with my cultural code.
Similarly I have now been approached twice by teenagers - black - holding out money. Would I buy them cigarettes? I look at them and they don't seem under the smoking age to me. They don't even look like smokers. They don't seem to approach anyone else in the vicinity. Do they just want to talk or hear what I sound like? I say I'm sorry but no.
There is something I’m not understanding. Am I too logical? Too naïve? Too old? Too removed? I know I look gloomy. Is it that? The downbeat appearance? Are we all supposed to be smiling? Or is it that people find it unusual to see someone walking rather than in a car or walking on their own. I feel wary. Is this what happens to people generally? I don’t think so.
Why then the over-familiarity? It doesn't feel like the world I used to know.
This has never happened before. Not in 48 years. Nothing like. It is beyond my comprehension. Each vehicle was different. Each passenger - white - was different although perhaps similar in type. On each occasion, I didn't know the person from Adam.
In each case, it has felt slightly sinister. Possibly the oddness of the context. Possibly the inability to reply as they raced by. Do they think they know me? Do I look like someone they know? Is it a case of mistaken identity? Is it just how they relate generally? I feel unsettled by it. It doesn't fit in with my cultural code.
Similarly I have now been approached twice by teenagers - black - holding out money. Would I buy them cigarettes? I look at them and they don't seem under the smoking age to me. They don't even look like smokers. They don't seem to approach anyone else in the vicinity. Do they just want to talk or hear what I sound like? I say I'm sorry but no.
There is something I’m not understanding. Am I too logical? Too naïve? Too old? Too removed? I know I look gloomy. Is it that? The downbeat appearance? Are we all supposed to be smiling? Or is it that people find it unusual to see someone walking rather than in a car or walking on their own. I feel wary. Is this what happens to people generally? I don’t think so.
Why then the over-familiarity? It doesn't feel like the world I used to know.
(that's for Bryn )
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