Wales football manager Gary Speed is dead

[jayne lee wilson]

There are those who, to combat some inner turmoil, will project around them an aura of strength, cheerfulness and confidence. They feel compelled to do this, seeming ever helpful and obliging, to surround themselves with a domestic or professional serenity, a serenity that they can never know, or feel, in themselves. The cause of such hidden storms of emotion need not be evil or wicked impulses, it can happen very early or quite late in a life, it may even be hidden, for years, from the sufferer themselves; but it goes on, and the longer it continues, the greater the unbearable contrast between the outward peace and the inward terror. In its worst manifestation, no-one but the sufferer will know. Or maybe once - or even twice, they tried to talk - and the listener couldn't hear.

The one possible way out is - simply to tell someone. Just to say "I can't deal with this, help me". If only someone can hear - and respond, you aren't quite alone, you have a chance. From there, you can start to live.

[jayne lee wilson]

https://holyjoe.org/poetry/robinson.htm

[kernelbogey]

[....]The one possible way out is - simply to tell someone. Just to say "I can't deal with this, help me". If only someone can hear - and respond, you aren't quite alone, you have a chance. From there, you can start to live.

This is well put, Jayne. (And the poem speaks to it, too.) There is such a stigma, even now, about mental illness that it requires a huge effort for those so afflicted to overcome the shame that stops them asking for help or even a sympathetic ear. We have come a long way in my lifetime but still have a way to go. This is not just a task for the sufferer to break through the barrier: society has to change its attitudes even more. The news that in the minute's silence for Gary Speed at a match applause broke out after a few seconds suggests that the public is as yet unable to deal with bereavement or the consequences of this stigma.

[amateur51]

The news that in the minute's silence for Gary Speed at a match applause broke out after a few seconds suggests that the public is as yet unable to deal with bereavement or the consequences of this stigma.

As I undertand it, the crowd started chanting/singing 'One Gary Speed, There's Only One Gary Speed', suggesting to me that they felt more comfortable about remembering him in collective noise rather than in individual silence. It seemed to be a spontaneous tribute, perhaps too shaking your fist in the face of disaster. Huge emotions which most of us are not used to/capable of handling.

But I agree with kernel & jlw - we do have a long way to go individually and as a Society in handling mental distress and death.

[Lateralthinking1]

Two thirds of people who seek help for depression are women but suicide is now the biggest killer of males under the age of 35.

The tragic story of German goalkeeper Robert Enke, who committed suicide in November 2009, has been awarded with the top prize at the William Hill Sports Book of the Year Award 2011.

A neighbour who is still employed by choice at 69 told me yesterday of a young guy he knows whose three year unemployment has been "managed" through eating. He has put on eight stones.

A 24 year old who has never been employed has sat for six years in his bedroom just on the computer. While arguably many of us might almost be in that category we have all at least had the benefits of years of life.

The NHS was reported this week as being overwhelmed by the numbers of people seeking help for depression ostensibly because of the economic crisis.

But depression can affect anyone - Churchill was a regular sufferer of the "Black Dog".

Womans Hour has reported that there is to be a Black Dog forum for people with depression whether diagnosed or not. It will have access to a trained adviser at the touch of a key if anyone needs to talk to someone of that kind immediately.

[eighthobstruction]

#16....yes Jayne , I can really relate to what you say there....thankyou....well put. It is an aspect that is really difficult for non sufferers to understand....and indeed takes a very long time for even the sufferer to understand their MO. Where does it leave you once you understand it ?....I'm really not sure, because once you have had this conversation with yourself , it tends just to repeat....and when you have had the conversation with someone else, what else is there to say ....[I am talking of long term depression]

[teamsaint]

This is well put, Jayne. (And the poem speaks to it, too.) There is such a stigma, even now, about mental illness that it requires a huge effort for those so afflicted to overcome the shame that stops them asking for help or even a sympathetic ear. We have come a long way in my lifetime but still have a way to go. This is not just a task for the sufferer to break through the barrier: society has to change its attitudes even more. The news that in the minute's silence for Gary Speed at a match applause broke out after a few seconds suggests that the public is as yet unable to deal with bereavement or the consequences of this stigma.

I don't really think the applause(rather than silence) signifies what you suggest.
There is a lot of commemoration of those who have passed away at football matches, not least since there are so many people involved in it.
I go to a lot of games, and it seems to me that in the football world, at a stadium, the minutes applause seems a rather natural thing to do. It also reduces the risk of the lone idiot ruining an important moment.
i would also suggest that fans are frquently ready to deal with various stigmas (since many will have faced them in their own lives)..........not sure the football authorities are so ready.

In general though agree with KB. Even If Gary Speed didn't have depression, it really is an awful condition. However,it can sometimes be dealt with, and society needs to face it's problems and issues more coherently.

The great Adrian Borland succumbed to it, I think because his medication control failed. (That is as far as I am aware...I would hate to be wrong on this though).

[scottycelt]

Permission to post, please ...

I do agree with kernelbogey on all his main points.

However, we may be jumping to conclusions here when discussing the shocking and tragic death of Gary Speed. I believe the official inquest into his death starts today, so who really knows at this point what might be revealed?

[eighthobstruction]

yep, indeed yes scotty....