What are your favourite / current loo-side books?

[amateur51]

I always have the latest edition of Private Eye atop the cistern, and also Peter Schikele's definitive biography of P.D.Q. Bach, which never fails to raise a smile as I do the necessary.

Private Eye is a loo-side natural, I agree Mr Pee

[vinteuil]

Praps the advice could be encapsulated as 'when offered something or udder, always choose something'

... coat for Mr Amateur, please!

[Don Petter]

Like all civilised loos, ours has a bookcase, which holds, at a rough count, a hundred and fifty titles, which I won't take your time in enumerating.

On the lectern, however, is just one volume at present: 'The True Story of H.P Sauce' by Dinsdale Landen. I can recommend this to all aficionados of that essential substance. It even includes the words and music of the song 'La Sauce HP', which is a setting of the information on the label by which so many of us started our language studies ('Cette sauce de haute qualité est un mélange de fruits ...').

An item we often leave on the lectern when entertaining visitors is 'Wholesale Destruction of Rats Without Poisons' by Joseph Lansdell (Price One Shilling). It covers a fascinating and wide ranging set of methods including, among others, cyanogas, motor exhaust, sulphur, cayenne pepper, gas tar, chloride of lime, formalin and acetylene. At least, I've always found it fascinating, but we don't seem to get many repeat visits.

[MickyD]

Is this the one, MickyD? http://www.amazon.co.uk/Tallulah-Ban...2389357&sr=1-4

Yes, that's the one, Caliban. She apparently wrote her own autobiography, but I'll bet the tales weren't anything like as hair-raising as the ones in this!

[Nick Armstrong]

Praps the advice could be encapsulated as 'when offered something or udder, always choose something'

Indeed!

I will forbear to favour the assembled company with the distinctly dubious joke on the subject involving Huddersfield...

[Nick Armstrong]

Private Eye is a loo-side natural, I agree Mr Pee

The hardback Private Eye annuals are trusty standbys... combining resilience with nostalgic added value. The 1999 annual resides in the guest loo in Chateau Caliban

[Nick Armstrong]

Like all civilised loos, ours has a bookcase, which holds, at a rough count, a hundred and fifty titles, which I won't take your time in enumerating.

On the lectern, however, is just one volume at present: 'The True Story of H.P Sauce' by Dinsdale Landen. I can recommend this to all aficionados of that essential substance. It even includes the words and music of the song 'La Sauce HP', which is a setting of the information on the label by which so many of us started our language studies ('Cette sauce de haute qualité est un mélange de fruits ...').

An item we often leave on the lectern when entertaining visitors is 'Wholesale Destruction of Rats Without Poisons' by Joseph Lansdell (Price One Shilling). It covers a fascinating and wide ranging set of methods including, among others, cyanogas, motor exhaust, sulphur, cayenne pepper, gas tar, chloride of lime, formalin and acetylene. At least, I've always found it fascinating, but we don't seem to get many repeat visits.

Lost in admiration at the palatial facilities you describe.

However, the two books I am tempted to acquire are not those slightly alarming volumes, but MickyD's two: the Parson Woodforde Diaries, and the Bankhead biog. They sound fab.

[amateur51]

The hardback Private Eye annuals are trusty standbys... combining resilience with nostalgic added value. The 1999 annual resides in the guest loo in Chateau Caliban

Such a shame they no longer issue the free floppy singles of yesteryear.

This looks like something to ask Santa for ...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Private-Eye-First-50-Years/dp/1901784568/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp

[vinteuil]

the Parson Woodforde Diaries

... fairly easily available from sources such as abebooks.com. There is a nice little Oxford pocket sized edn of selections (also a paperback), for a couple of quid; there is also a more scholarly five volume Oxford Clarendon edition, probably nearer £200 these days. Even the latter is only a 'selection' from the complete Diary...

[Nick Armstrong]

... fairly easily available from sources such as abebooks.com. There is a nice little Oxford pocket sized edn of selections (also a paperback), for a couple of quid; there is also a more scholarly five volume Oxford Clarendon edition, probably nearer £200 these days. Even the latter is only a 'selection' from the complete Diary...

[Anna]

When I read of these stately (nay, we even now have guest loos with their own reading matter) smallest rooms I fear I am, well and truly, lacking in that department, I have neither a bookcase nor a lectern (does the eagle frighten people?) All I have is a Burmese bronze urn on the windowledge and paintings by Maxfield Parrish (could be worse, very much worse, could be Vettriano) Oh, and to be totally mundane, a bottle of Asda thick bleach (pink)

[MickyD]

Lost in admiration at the palatial facilities you describe.

However, the two books I am tempted to acquire are not those slightly alarming volumes, but MickyD's two: the Parson Woodforde Diaries, and the Bankhead biog. They sound fab.

I think one could say that our tastes are fairly eclectic, Caliban! But yes, a good read, both of them. I have the smaller Oxford Woodforde paperback that Vinteuil mentions and it is quite adequate for me.

[Nick Armstrong]

When I read of these stately (nay, we even now have guest loos with their own reading matter) smallest rooms I fear I am, well and truly, lacking in that department, I have neither a bookcase nor a lectern (does the eagle frighten people?) All I have is a Burmese bronze urn on the windowledge and paintings by Maxfield Parrish (could be worse, very much worse, could be Vettriano) Oh, and to be totally mundane, a bottle of Asda thick bleach (pink)

[MrGongGong]

I once ran a music rehearsal in the "Royal Retiring Rooms" at the Albert Hall, we all took it in turns to "have a go" on the Queens Toilet (steady on folks )
and sadly it was only afterwards that I had the idea of leaving a copy of the Beano in there !

(before the refurb, the Royal Box had the only disabled toilet on level 5 of the RFH which caused much amusement amongst some folks !)

[PatrickOD]

God be with the innocent days when I was fascinated by the reading material available in the public loos, not to mention the art galleries. Is that where the contemplative literary habit began?
My current window-sill dipper is, and has been for several years, The Wallet Of Kai Lung, a short paragraph at a time being sufficient for purpose. It also never fails to encourage a chuckle or two.