Mateyness

[Mandryka]

Mandryka - while I share your suspicion of the 'false mateyness' - I find even more off-putting the false disneyfied tweeness of the Betty's tearoom approach...

I don't like real disneyfication, never mind the false variety....but I detect no such element in Betty's. I don't think Betty's is pretentious or twee: they've clearly thought carefully about what they're trying to achieve and they've achieved it. The timewarp factor is strong, but that's what I like about it. Just imagine if the same exercise had been attempted by people with no knowledge of history and/or Yorkshire!

I'll admit to being slightly prejudiced, as Mrs. Mandryka is a Harrogate girl, though she has nothing to do with Betty's, other than being a frequent punter. :)

[Serial_Apologist]

Many years ago, a girlfriend dumped me for addressing her son as "Pal". "He's not dog meat!" she expostulated, and I was unable to get across that "Pal" is a common address affectionately used by cockneys. This was in Bristol, where "Squire", or "Squoire", as pronounced there, is a commonplace address, not (I think) intended as directed to debunk one's social status or affectations of superiority.

I think salespeople are at some level aware of using false means of ingratiating customers to make them buy; so long as we can all as consumers communicate our awareness that we are playing roles with, say, a well-timed , and go out and preach against materialism, its stalinist injunctions to conform, and what drives it, rather than over-identifying and getting carried away on the crest of appearances we don for purposes of interpersonal protocol, all will be well in the end.

[Nick Armstrong]

a girlfriend dumped me for addressing her son as "Pal"

[kernelbogey]

While on the subject, what do we think of 'mateyness' in general? Whenever I hear the word, I always feel like attaching the word 'false', as so seldom does it appear to be genuine. I've noticed that car salesmen (as distinct from saleswomen) seem to be the worst offenders in this respect - if you take a test drive, they'll usually try to 'level' with you by talking about football - or, failing that, any other 'popular' sport.[....]

I've experienced this from a police officer writing out a speeding ticket: I suspect trained to do it to deflect the poor punter's anger at being nicked. Police are also adept at using 'sir' with a particular resonance.... 'I'm being polite to you, so don't get stroppy with me.'

On the English provenance of 'mate', BTW, I think this is a traditional form of address between sailors (vide the novels of Patrick O'Brian passim).

[Mandryka]

Many years ago, a girlfriend dumped me for addressing her son as "Pal". "He's not dog meat!" she expostulated, and I was unable to get across that "Pal" is a common address affectionately used by cockneys. This was in Bristol, where "Squire", or "Squoire", as pronounced there, is a commonplace address, not (I think) intended as directed to debunk one's social status or affectations of superiority.

I think salespeople are at some level aware of using false means of ingratiating customers to make them buy; so long as we can all as consumers communicate our awareness that we are playing roles with, say, a well-timed , and go out and preach against materialism, its stalinist injunctions to conform, and what drives it, rather than over-identifying and getting carried away on the crest of appearances we don for purposes of interpersonal protocol, all will be well in the end.

I remember that my father always used to address my maternal grandfather as 'squire'. At a young age, I felt it conveyed a sense of affection and the respect due to age. Nowadays, it would probably be considered patronising, particularly as my father was a research chemist and my grandfather was a boilerman.

Richard Burton apparently used to go around addressing complete strangers by such unlikely camp epithets as 'flower', 'petal' and 'sweetheart' - but then he was, supposedly, a macho Welshman, so could get away with it.

[Anna]

I don't often get called Mate although I am referred to as Madam in Waitrose, I don't really like that but there's no alternative. Usually, here, men are referred to as Butt, Buttie or Old Butt (for a more familiar acquaintance) and women are Lovely or more usually My Lovely. I like the latter. (As in from a bus driver "whereto my lovely?") Makes me feel like I'm in a Raymond Chandler novel!

[kernelbogey]

[...]Usually, here, men are referred to as Butt, Buttie or Old Butt (for a more familiar acquaintance) and women are Lovely or more usually My Lovely. I like the latter. (As in from a bus driver "whereto my lovely?") Makes me feel like I'm in a Raymond Chandler novel!

In Cornwall, where I grew up, one was often addressed as 'my lover', which is rather nice, and in Plymouth I believe the equivalent soubriquet is 'my bird'.

[Mandryka]

I don't often get called Mate although I am referred to as Madam in Waitrose, I don't really like that but there's no alternative. Usually, here, men are referred to as Butt, Buttie or Old Butt (for a more familiar acquaintance) and women are Lovely or more usually My Lovely. I like the latter. (As in from a bus driver "whereto my lovely?") Makes me feel like I'm in a Raymond Chandler novel!

Is it also true that, in Wales, girlfriends are referred to as 'budgies'?

[EdgeleyRob]

I've been called a lot worse things than anything on here!

[Anna]

Is it also true that, in Wales, girlfriends are referred to as 'budgies'

Not that I know of, lovely boy

[amateur51]

When I worked in the Box Office of a well-known concert hall in central London adjacent to the back of John Lewis () I used to refer to 'Patrons' as 'Sir' or 'Madam'.

On one occasion I was asked rather firmly by one would-be Patron on the phone "Could we have a little less of the Sir, please?"

It was customary to ask Patrons about what 'title' they preferred, for the Marketing Department I think. Most people didn't have a problem with this, but one Peer of the Realm baulked a bit until I mentioned that he just might be a Peer (I had recognised his name) and he blushed over the phone & gurgled "Well actually ... I am!" Game, set & match to the shopgirl, I thought

[Eine Alpensinfonie]

I have a work colleague who addresses the children she teaches as "guys". This is a form of "matyness" that removes the professional distance between teacher and child, It makes me squirm.
Similarly, when a car salesman addressed Frau Alpensinfonie and myself as "guys", she glared at him and then stood in a sideways position to show her feminine form, and said, "No, I don't think so."

[mangerton]

When I worked in the Box Office of a well-known concert hall in central London adjacent to the back of John Lewis () I used to refer to 'Patrons' as 'Sir' or 'Madam'.

On one occasion I was asked rather firmly by one would-be Patron on the phone "Could we have a little less of the Sir, please?"

I work in a contact centre for a well-known Government Department. We are told not to address callers as "Sir" or "Madam" as this is perceived as very "Old Civil Service". We are told to call them Ms/Mrs/Miss/Ms, never by their first names.

[Flosshilde]

If you don't like 'mate' (which I always think is a London or South East England term), try a Glaswegian 'big man' (with equal emphasis on both words). I've been addressed as this on occasion - I assume because of my height, although I don't think physical stature (or any other aspect of one's build ) is neccessarily being referred to.

[Paul Sherratt]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YTwxiKMWCkg

It's the arts, mate.