Mateyness

[BetweenTheStaves]

It's lack of eye contact for me, rather than the words (although I hate being called Mr), from people serving especially when they give you your change back.

[teamsaint]

formal forms of address are interesting.
My job is a modest area sales job, for a small publisher. not a job that gets you into the higher social circles at weekends and evenings !!

One day I pitched up at a call for a meeting with a author, (not a rich and famous one!!). The person on reception called through on the phone and said.. "Mr ****** , your publisher is here", which made me feel rather grand , for a moment or too.
which makes me think that people who get addressed with high rank titles, (insert your own), must have their egos gently massaged a number of times each day....maybe with less than good consequences?
Just a thought, anyway.

[kernelbogey]

[....]Sort of on topic, how do we feel about the, now standard, 'no worries' or 'no problem' that invariably follows when we have given our order/made our request?

Despite my drift to mateyness (M1), this continues to irritate, particularly when it's a response to 'thank you'.

More irritating is the habit of shop assistants, seeing me waiting, plainly expecting their attention, addressing me with 'Y'alright there?'

To which I wish to respond acidly 'Yes, I'm perfectly alright, but am hoping that you or one of your colleagues will deign to serve me in the near future'.

I've been told off by my children for this grumpy attitude, since they insist it's simply a modern way of saying 'can I help you?'

(I'll get me dinosaur skin .)

[salymap]

One of my postmen, the most union type who leaves letters even if they are not for me, calls me 'mate' which I consider odd!

I thought when people said "See you later" it must mean the same day. Apparently it now doesn't mean anything.

[Mandryka]

Despite my drift to mateyness (M1), this continues to irritate, particularly when it's a response to 'thank you'.

More irritating is the habit of shop assistants, seeing me waiting, plainly expecting their attention, addressing me with 'Y'alright there?'

To which I wish to respond acidly 'Yes, I'm perfectly alright, but am hoping that you or one of your colleagues will deign to serve me in the near future'.

I've been told off by my children for this grumpy attitude, since they insist it's simply a modern way of saying 'can I help you?'

(I'll get me dinosaur skin .)

The 'can I help you' type enquiry, though almost always well meant, can seem loaded at times - as if it translates as, 'Well? Are you actually thinking of buying something or are you just wasting our time?' I know that's rarely how it's meant but it's how my paranoid delusional mentality sometimes translates it. :)

[Don Petter]

I suspect I may be somewhat younger than kernelbogey, which suggests I'm well on my way to becoming a real pompous reactionary in later life. Indeed, I may be there already!

Naaa! You're a good 'un, Squire!

[BBMmk2]

I don't know. In some ways it can be rather irritating from a complete stranger, but, having said that, in any given situation, could be rather good, imo.

[Paul Sherratt]

>>>>No, I'm an unapologetic fan of Betty's - walking into a branch is just like walking into pre-1914 England (the affluent part, of course) .


Well dear Betty's prices are a sure way to keep most of the riff-raff out. Mind you I'm not so sure about the staff quality, nowadays.
The Czech waitress fled our table when she noticed us examining the free toy that came with a tin of ' Jesus ' adhesive bandages.
And our previous visit to Harrogate was made memorable by the most lamentable service we've ever experienced in any cafe !

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4024/...65f6ce088e.jpg ( soldier figure not included )

http://www.squidbeak.org/images/Bettys-Harrogate.jpg

PS
A friend recently sent us a food parcel from the Yorkshire institution. The fruit cake was quite extraordinary ..

[Mandryka]

>>>>No, I'm an unapologetic fan of Betty's - walking into a branch is just like walking into pre-1914 England (the affluent part, of course) .


Well dear Betty's prices are a sure way to keep most of the riff-raff out. Mind you I'm not so sure about the staff quality, nowadays.
The Czech waitress fled our table when she noticed us examining the free toy that came with a tin of ' Jesus ' adhesive bandages.
And our previous visit to Harrogate was made memorable by the most lamentable service we've ever experienced in any cafe !

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4024/...65f6ce088e.jpg ( soldier figure not included )

http://www.squidbeak.org/images/Bettys-Harrogate.jpg

PS
A friend recently sent us a food parcel from the Yorkshire institution. The fruit cake was quite extraordinary ..

Words are inadequate to describe the quality of their Yorkshire Rarebit.

Yes, it's expensive, but you get what you pay for. And I'm now of an age where I can understand that you're not just paying for the meal, you're also paying for the ambience - which might not, I'll concede, be to everyone's taste, but certainly is to mine. :)

[Pabmusic]

Words are inadequate to describe the quality of their Yorkshire Rarebit.

I entirely agree with your assessment of Betty's Yorkshire Rarebit (such a long time since ... oh, well), but I'm intrigued to note that we have dandified the name (well, Betty's have at least) from 'rabbit'. The recipe started out as Welsh Rabbit - almost certainly an ethnic slur - and the refined senses of the Victorians changed it to 'rarebit'. It's an interesting point, given that the thread is about relaxing formal address - the process in reverse.

[pilamenon]

OK Mate....Betties is a po-faced anachronomism where young girls are stopped being themselves on fear of being sacked....the fair is average and extremely expensive and is inhabited by tourists and gentle folk [cough ahem] who are meeting from out of town, as they cruise the charity shops....as an icon [and easy place to suggest as a meeting place] of the Agatha Christie years. I believe we are waiting for the Harrogate and Ilkley RIOTS so they may be burned....HARRY RAMSDENS anyone....

Regarding "mate", surely a perfectly good English word, along with "guv" and "pal", and much preferable to "buddy". It's the Americanisms and Australianisms ("no worries") that jar with me. And I quite like a bit of informality now and then, just as I enjoy being addressed as "sir", too.

[vinteuil]

Regarding "mate", surely a perfectly good English word, along with "guv" and "pal"...:

"pal" - from Anglo-Romani phal, from Romani phral, from Sanskrit भ्रातृ (bhrātṛ), from Proto-Indo-European *bʰréh₂tēr. Cognates also include English brother, Ancient Greek φράτηρ, Latin frater.

[Mandryka]

While on the subject, what do we think of 'mateyness' in general? Whenever I hear the word, I always feel like attaching the word 'false', as so seldom does it appear to be genuine. I've noticed that car salesmen (as distinct from saleswomen) seem to be the worst offenders in this respect - if you take a test drive, they'll usually try to 'level' with you by talking about football - or, failing that, any other 'popular' sport. This approach always fails with me, as I have no interest in sports whatsoever.....the spectacle of these people looking perplexed and lost when their essential 'prop' is pulled from under them is often something to behold....

[vinteuil]

Mandryka - while I share your suspicion of the 'false mateyness' - I find even more off-putting the false disneyfied tweeness of the Betty's tearoom approach...

[Serial_Apologist]

This is where the address of "Monsieur" or "Madame" is so useful in French - it immediately shows respect and as much formality as is necessary, but is not in any way regarded as stuffy, class-ridden or old fashioned.

I would be worried to be addressed as "Madame". The leasehold conditions on these properties disallow use for "improper purposes".