And the Winner is......

[Guest]

The Irish Presidential election campaign is now officially under way.

You don't have a vote which makes you neutral observers in this event. I don't have a vote either - I'm one of you, you know! - but I know whom I would like to see elected. Of course, I would have all the baggage that every Irish man and woman North and South carries round their respective necks, so my wish would probably be a knee jerk reaction. And we have had plenty of that so far in our media.

How about helping me to make an informed decision - or, at least, give me the benefit of seeing through different eyes. I mean it.

Here are the candidates:

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/0928/breaking4.html

And here is a prickly little tongue-in-cheek view of the two candidates from Northern Ireland.

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2011/0928/1224304855725.html?via=rel?via=rel

[french frank]

Mary Robinson, Mary McAleese, Mary ... ?

[Bryn]

You got the first two letters right Frenchie, but it's Martin who would get my vote, though partly because he was so helpful to me when I took a tumble over a sleeping policeman, back in the summer of 1983. I managed to break my bottom jaw and he sorted out my continuing medical attention once I was out of the Royal Vic.). A fine fellow who would make a good fist of the job, so to speak.

[Tapiola]

... it's Martin who would get my vote, though partly because he was so helpful to me when I took a tumble over a sleeping policeman, back in the summer of 1983

If Marty was nearby, are you sure the policeman was sleeping, as opposed to dead?

[amateur51]

Mary Robinson, Mary McAleese, Mary ... ?

Do you know that David Norris' student nickname was Mary or did you just guess, french frank

He'd be a wonderful President and it would be richly deserved for all the hard yards he's put in over the decades to bring Ireland into the 21st century

[PatrickOD]

Oh yes, ff, the Three Marys is a popular number.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JEiuM_eHuw

And if you look closely you will find two more.

By popular number I also mean that a lot of people think that way. It's a bit like sticking a pin for the winner of the Grand National.

[amateur51]

Oh yes, ff, the Three Marys is a popular number.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JEiuM_eHuw

And if you look closely you will find two more.

If I recall correctly, it was The Four Marys in Bunty comic

[Bryn]

If Marty was nearby, are you sure the policeman was sleeping, as opposed to dead?

I'll lob 'em up. You slam 'em into the net. If only it was footie, rather than tennis.

[Stillhomewardbound]

Thanks for posting this, PatrickOD, I didn't know that David Norris had revived his candidacy.

As, French Frank points out, the potential for confusion is rife with the prospect of yet another Mary in the park. Outsiders will assume that the presidency is held by some kind of feminist franchise.

Then there's the candidate who's gay and the one who's called Gay and Martin McGuinness styling himself as the People's President which will cause merriment amongst my Irish relatives (nationalists at that) who'd sooner spit on him than vote for him; and what will Dana's slogan be? 'All kinds of everything' only as long as it's in her family bible, and preferably from the Old Testament.

Non-runners (in my limited opinion) would seem to be Sean Gallagher, business man turned tv 'Dragon's Den' 'sleb', Dana also (no national appetite for a firebrand evangelist in a role like that) and the Fine Gael gay, er sorry guy, er Gay Mitchell (Ed. Guy Mitchell? Is he still alive?) who's probably on the ticket as a sop to losing to Enda Kenny for the leadership of Fine Gael. Also Mary Davis who is wonderfully worthy but all too predictably a woman candidate called Mary.

But who's the candidate I haven't mentioned so far? That will be Michael D Higgins who has 'statesman' and 'professorial' written all over him. I mean, just get that middle initial. There's swank! Oh and his candidacy has been endorsed by American's greatest ever president (in telly-land at least) Jed Bartlett aka. close and personal friend, Martin Sheen. Also, he's a bit of a poet.

Yup, I reckon MDH has it in the bag. Perhaps unsurprisingly, David Norris would have been my man, and his presidency would have underlined an appropriate change in the times, but very sadly I suspect it is not to be.

For 'Platform on 3', this is Stillhomewardbound reporting from Phoenix Park, Dublin!

[Tapiola]

I'll lob 'em up. You slam 'em into the net. If only it was footie, rather than tennis.

Couldn't resist, Bryn. A great story, by the way. Dare I ask what you were doing in Belfast c. 1983?

Stillhomewardbound,

An excellent critique! If I had a vote I may have gone for Higgins, a former (very enlightened) Arts Minister in ROI.

[Lateralthinking1]

Perhaps unsurprisingly as it is Ireland, sex looms large in politics. It could almost be the United States from that perspective.

Although her views are mad and even dangerous - is there anyone sane who is against contraception? - I have a soft spot for Dana. Sure, at the age of seven, I was bitterly disappointed when she trounced Mary Hopkin. However, five years later we bumped into each other in Winsford, Somerset. To be more precise, she nearly drove into me.

There was Rosemary in a sports car, a film crew with umbrellas to cope with the pouring rain, and half a dozen of us watching. The little ford there was overflowing. Still, she drove on through it time and again until the filming was right. Actually, I have often thought that she leapt out of the car at one point and kissed me. I feel though that the truth of it was that she kissed the grumpy looking octogenarian from the village. Ironically, he looked like a condom. Perhaps that explains her stance.

I don't do Sinn Fein. Sorry. I always saw them as morally superior to the Rev Ian Paisley. At the end of the day, that isn't enough. Then there is Gallagher who is supposedly Independent. He is also a businessman and a celebrity on Dragon's Den. Definitely one to avoid. In fact, I wouldn't touch Fianna Fail types with a barge pole. Not only did they bring the economy to its knees but virtually every one of their leaders during my lifetime has been the very worst kind of crook.

Clearly Fine Gael haven't had the sense to build on their recent success by choosing the kind of candidate who might appeal widely. What a dull fellow. And I'm not choosing Norris for while he has the best of intentions, some of his statements lead to serious question marks, although it is also noted that he may have been the victim of a dirty tricks campaign.

Are there any left? Oh yes. Is it PR? Michael D Higgins gets my second vote currently. He looks like a champagne socialist but this is balanced up a bit by the poetic folksiness. The Saw Doctors also mentioned him in their songs. And the winner is....yes, there is something about Mary. I like the special olympics dimension and the independence. But hold on. Is that all there is? What about the Greens? Has their role in that dreadful coalition put an end to them? We really need to be told.

[PatrickOD]

Is it PR?, you ask Lat. Yes it is, and the transfers will be crucial.

Thanks for your analysis, and thanks too to Shb for his equally forthright response. I detect a hint of passion in both your posts. That's the stuff.

I notice that Bryn has gone straight for the jugular, as is his wont. MMcG would love that sleeping policeman story. But I don't think lobbing is always a good tactic - too risky.

Mary, McGuinness, Norris and Higgins have all featured in responses so far, and that would be largely my own feeling at this stage. Here is another take, not too different but more pointed. Note the promise of dirt, sleaze and below the belt blows to come - just to keep us reading the Irish Times, as if we were interested in that sort of thing.

http://www.irishtimes.com/blogs/ontherecord/2011/09/28/on-the-polls-the-presidential-issue/

[Lateralthinking1]

PatrickOD - Thank you for your kind and diplomatic response. I have changed my contribution slightly. I got confused for a moment about the one who gives beige a good name and the one who was on Dragons Den. It is hardly surprising. Gallagher sounds on paper like he is Fine Gael, he is supposedly an Independent and I believe that he is Fianna Fail in all but name.

It all looks like a rogues gallery. Instinctively I ask how that could be. Ireland is a country that produces hundreds of greats even with its eyes half closed. I feel exactly the same about the Mayor of London elections. There has never been a decent candidate.

[Bryn]

Couldn't resist, Bryn. A great story, by the way. Dare I ask what you were doing in Belfast c. 1983?

From 1981 to 1983 I went over each summer with the Troops Out delegation. I made friends with the nationalist family who had kindly accommodated me during the first trip, and in 1983 I went over a few days early to get a less regimented feel for the community. The first night of that stay I got an urgent call to go up the road to a house where my host had ventured. I took the urgency of the call too seriously and in the dark tripped on a traffic calming hump and went head first into the tarmac. It turned out that my host simply wanted me to sort out the record player at her friend's house. Anyway, they contacted the local Sinn Fein councillor who got a black taxi sorted to take me to the Royal Victoria Hospital where I spent the next few days getting my jaws wired and being otherwise checked out. On discharge I was advised to go to the Sinn Fein offices where someone (it just happened that Martin McGuinness was there at the time and I had become a minor celebrity due to the accident) would be best placed to sort out a local GP for me to see. McGuinness, after a bit of craic about what conclusions my colleagues would jump to about how I got my jaw broken in Belfast, got one of his comrades to take me round to a local doctor who sorted out the necessary prescriptions for pain killers, etc.

Re. Paisley, it was my host's eldest son who set me right on his personal experience of the man. He advised that Paisley, for all his bluster, was no sectarian when it came to the personal (the son had done some work for Paisley). That was something which only became generally recognised much later, when he and McGuinness got on so well, political and national differences notwithstanding.

[Lateralthinking1]

Interesting but I would see it differently. Rather than being a guy who did an average job and spent time with the lawnmower at weekends, Paisley strove to be a kind of god. He appeared to be a man who would never be content unless he was highly influential to millions. The power thing. Then he stumbled on a major difficulty. On getting into his seventies, he discovered that there was the prospect of death, just as is the case with others. If the situation in Northern Ireland remained as it was, he would face his maker feeling a mere mortal. What would it have all been about? By agreeing to change course radically, his sense of power could remain until the end. The entire situation of a country had been guided by him from start to finish. Many might view that as megalomania - that final changing of all.

There are other recent examples in history. Perhaps of all the individuals responsible for the decriminalisation of homosexuality, psychiatrist Robert Spitzer was the most influential. His position remained broadly the same for decades, that is, until he reached his dotage. Suddenly, then, the volte face. Astonishingly, he decided to take a highly public lead in conversion therapy. People focus on the rights and wrongs of these people's positions - many would argue that Paisley became more right and Spitzer became more wrong - but that would be to miss the crucial point. It is the character of the individuals that is so revealing. In their minds, they are nothing less than fathers to the masses. Given the sheer scale of their impacts, it should concern us how those who remain in such positions tend to be so deeply flawed.

(Evidence - It is commonly recognised that Prime Ministers who leave office, and remain philosophically of the same views from their youth until the end, know that their importance will fade sooner rather than later on their demise. In fact, many see it is the case long before they die. Frequently they become slightly crackers in the process. The one that decides on reaching 70 or 80 that he or she was wrong in all the preceding decades - well, it is impossible to imagine - but that would be the sign of a belief in god-like power and arguably rejuvenating, particularly if it led to a new, significant role. On the surface, they would seem as right as rain. Below it would be greater madness. Give it ten years or so - we could see a first in this respect with Blair!)