Current favourite jokes

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  • EdgeleyRob
    Guest
    • Nov 2010
    • 12180
    #2461
    Originally posted by ferneyhoughgeliebte View Post
    You're kidnmey!
    Groan

    Comment

    • johncorrigan
      Full Member
      • Nov 2010
      • 10348
      #2462
      Apologies (not really) for replaying this old joke which made a wee appearance this morning...and I laughed again!

      A bunch of guys decided to club together to get a birthday treat for their friend who is turning 83. He opens the door on his birthday and a gorgeous young woman is standing there.
      “I’m here to offer you super sex,” she says.
      The 83year-old thinks for a moment and then asks, “What kind of soup is it?”

      Comment

      • jean
        Late member
        • Nov 2010
        • 7100
        #2463

        Comment

        • LMcD
          Full Member
          • Sep 2017
          • 8408
          #2464
          Originally posted by jean View Post
          Brilliant!

          Comment

          • LMcD
            Full Member
            • Sep 2017
            • 8408
            #2465
            Why did the blonde stare so intently at the carton of orange juice?
            Because it said 'concentrate'

            Comment

            • greenilex
              Full Member
              • Nov 2010
              • 1626
              #2466
              Perhaps he would have been happier with Cyrillic script?

              Hair colour isn’t usually correlated with linguistic ability.

              Comment

              • Nick Armstrong
                Host
                • Nov 2010
                • 26523
                #2467
                Originally posted by jean View Post
                "...the isle is full of noises,
                Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                Comment

                • LMcD
                  Full Member
                  • Sep 2017
                  • 8408
                  #2468
                  From 'TMS' in 'The Times' today:
                  Barry Cryer once had lunch with Gene Kelly and showed him footage of Eric and Ernie doing Singing In The Rain. Afterwards Cryer couldn't resist telling him a joke: "I've written an underwater version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's called Ringing in The Seine'.

                  Comment

                  • Nick Armstrong
                    Host
                    • Nov 2010
                    • 26523
                    #2469
                    Originally posted by LMcD View Post
                    From 'TMS' in 'The Times' today:
                    Barry Cryer once had lunch with Gene Kelly and showed him footage of Eric and Ernie doing Singing In The Rain. Afterwards Cryer couldn't resist telling him a joke: "I've written an underwater version of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. It's called Ringing in The Seine'.
                    "...the isle is full of noises,
                    Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                    Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                    Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                    Comment

                    • Nick Armstrong
                      Host
                      • Nov 2010
                      • 26523
                      #2470
                      "...the isle is full of noises,
                      Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                      Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                      Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                      Comment

                      • Nick Armstrong
                        Host
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 26523
                        #2471
                        Have I slept 10 months and it's April 1st, or is the world actually going mad?

                        Spotted Dick renamed 'Spotted Richard' in Commons restaurant to spare MPs' blushes
                        https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/06/14/spotted-dick-renamed-spotted-richard-commons-restaurant-spare/
                        Spotted dick has long been a source of amusement for diners – but now seems to be so much so that waiters in the Houses of Parliament dare not say the name of the pudding out loud.
                        "...the isle is full of noises,
                        Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                        Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                        Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                        Comment

                        • cloughie
                          Full Member
                          • Dec 2011
                          • 22115
                          #2472
                          Originally posted by Caliban View Post
                          Have I slept 10 months and it's April 1st, or is the world actually going mad?

                          https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/201...taurant-spare/
                          ...but has anyone spotted him and claimed the prize?

                          Comment

                          • johncorrigan
                            Full Member
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 10348
                            #2473
                            Originally posted by cloughie View Post
                            ...but has anyone spotted him and claimed the prize?
                            He's desserted the place!

                            Comment

                            • Nick Armstrong
                              Host
                              • Nov 2010
                              • 26523
                              #2474
                              Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
                              He's desserted the place!
                              No one knows his currant location
                              "...the isle is full of noises,
                              Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
                              Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
                              Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."

                              Comment

                              • ferneyhoughgeliebte
                                Gone fishin'
                                • Sep 2011
                                • 30163
                                #2475
                                Originally posted by Caliban View Post
                                No one knows his currant location
                                Somebody will be raisin questions in the House.


                                (But the article must have been a spoof ... please tell me it was a spoof!)
                                [FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]

                                Comment

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