Current favourite jokes

[Alain Maréchal]

My apologies. Irony is not taught. I maintain my points.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

The 'mouth watering luxury' is arguably rather scant reward for virtual slavery to the State and the constant prying eyes of the world's press and media.

Also, the 'cost' to the British taxpayer ... a generally unconvincing argument from some who normally have little concern for same .... may be greatly outweighed by the benefits gained by the Exchequer from Royal tourism, including monies hard-earned in the German Republic!

Two of the most hilarious contributions to the Thread, scotty.

[Richard Barrett]

Two of the most hilarious contributions to the Thread, scotty.

Perhaps he was being ironic.

[P. G. Tipps]

Very.

Nah, come on, nothing to do with 'irony' the correct word is "sarcasm" ...

[ahinton]

Very.

But also very much to the point.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

b. Most of those visitors want to visit the legacy of the Monarchy, even though it has gone.

That is a good point (no irony intended here): the UK Tourist Industry wouldn't be damaged by our getting rid of the Monarchy.

c. I have just quickly calculated that those figures from Republic mean an annual cost to each Briton of about 5 GBP. Is it not worth that for the entertainment value?

Many would prefer to spend their annual fivers funding medical research - watching the long diminuendo of a personality through disease isn't very entertaining.

d. You could fund all those extra nurses, police officers and teachers by raising income tax by a modest amount, possibly only one penny in the pound.

Indeed we could - and some of us would wish that we did (some of us in addition to getting rid of the Monarchy). Sadly, not enough of us vote for such modest tax increases when given the opportunity. And that is the point - "not enough of us" - yet - have the desire either to get rid of the institution of the monarchy or to pay extra to fund Public Services. As you say in your first point the situation is "entirely [our] own fault".

Can we get back to the jokes, please - I'm getting depressed.

[Alain Maréchal]

Can we get back to the jokes, please - I'm getting depressed.

Certainly. The tangent may be my fault - perhaps Stanfordian's German friend was being ironic (or sarcastic). It is difficult to determine - the German sense of humour is nothing to laugh about.

[Richard Barrett]

not enough of us vote for such modest tax increases when given the opportunity

But a lot more than expected, and no doubt we'll be asked again before very long...

Anyway, if "Prince" Harry is to be believed, nobody really wants to be the next king or queen. They could just do the decent thing and dissolve the monarchy themselves!

(maybe that counts as a joke)

[BBMmk2]

Wife: I'm going to the shoe shop. What you doing?
Husband: Going to Spain for a fortnight!

[ahinton]

Wife: I'm going to the shoe shop. What you doing?
Husband: Going to Spain for a fortnight!

Haven't we been here before?...

[P. G. Tipps]

Haven't we been here before?...

A good joke is always worth repeating, ahinton ....!!

[Richard Barrett]

[Serial_Apologist]

I awoke this morning to a message from one of my French family: "Your King is in hospital..." !!!

There was (maybe there still is) a boxing trainer called Joe King, wasn't there? I never knew whom to feel sorrier for: him or his parents.

[Serial_Apologist]

A good joke is always worth repeating, ahinton ....!!

Which is doubtless why we now have so many "funny" adverts on TV. I just don't get the point of them: you laugh first time, (maybe, maybe just smile), miss the make of the product. The second time around you think: that was funny (a bit) last time - no joke is funny when repeated because the punchline loses its point - while missing the product. The third time - and every time thereafter - you rush out of the room to make a cup of tea or coffee, or attend to the needs of nature - there being nothing more irritating than being patronised by makers of a product whose message was missed by bad joke intervention, and who must think you are so stupid you have to be told the same "joke" time and time again in order to "get" it.

Oh yes, here's another thing: why are they still needing to advertise said product for months and years on end? And how can they afford to, if the fact it's not selling enough necessitates its advertisement!

OK then, if it is selling, but not in sufficient quantities, why do they think that by continuing to plug the same, escalatingly unfunny boring advert, they will persuade people?

[Richard Barrett]

Capitalism moves in mysterious ways, its wonders to perform.