And he was VERY hungry
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My nephew wants to be an accountant when he grows up.
So for his birthday I gave him a bag of receipts.
I said "don't worry if you don't like them,I kept all the presents "Comment
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A fellow walks into a dentist's surgery and says,
"Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."
"You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
"Yes, I know."
"So, why did you come in here?"
"The light was on.""...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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Utterly brilliant, vints!Comment
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Marvellous. Sadly the latest is that Rosie O'Donnell will not be appearing as Steve Bannon.Comment
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I didn't want to believe that my housemate was stealing stuff from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there."...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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Since it's Valentine's Day I thought I should book a table for this evening. Just me and Mrs C. I hope she likes snooker.
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A man with a newt on his shoulder walks into a bar.
‘Bartender! I’ll have a pint of your finest ale and a glass of orange juice for Tiny, please.’
The barman complies, and then says, ‘Why do you call him Tiny?’
Man replies, ‘Because he’s my newt.’
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Originally posted by johncorrigan View PostA man with a newt on his shoulder walks into a bar.
‘Bartender! I’ll have a pint of your finest ale and a glass of orange juice for Tiny, please.’
The barman complies, and then says, ‘Why do you call him Tiny?’
Man replies, ‘Because he’s my newt.’
Son "dad can I borrow the car ?"
Dad "but son you can't even drive"
Son "neither can mum but you let her borrow it "Comment
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Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me today.
Luckily my injuries are only super fish oil.Comment
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I enjoyed this from the paper at the weekend.
What do you call someone who's allergic to rice?
Basmatic.Comment
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