Current favourite jokes

[Sir Velo]

As a gourmet, becoming a vegetarian was the biggest missed steak of my life.

[Sir Velo]

What's the worst thing about mesapotamian orators? They Babylon.

[ahinton]

My doctor asked me if I had trouble passing water. I said I'd had a stroll along the canal this morning without a problem.

Well done! - although the sheer number of posts in this thread appears to show that it's not so rare to find good jokes in this medium...

[Nick Armstrong]

I've asked my other half to polish my medieval battle equipment while I go to the pub.

She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.

[Roslynmuse]

Love it, Cali!

[ahinton]

I've asked my other half to polish my medieval battle equipment while I go to the pub.

She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.

Brilliant!

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Brilliant!

[EdgeleyRob]

Brilliant Cal.

Someone has ripped the pages out of the front and back of my dictionary.
It just goes from bad to worse.

[Nick Armstrong]

Brilliant Cal.

Someone has ripped the pages out of the front and back of my dictionary.
It just goes from bad to worse.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

[EdgeleyRob]

Or

I was talking to Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day.
He was telling me he is working in quality control at Walkers.

[Nick Armstrong]

Or

I was talking to Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day.
He was telling me he is working in quality control at Walkers.

[EdgeleyRob]

Or

I've just invented a perfume made from holy water.
I'm going to call it Eau My God.

[EdgeleyRob]

My friend was bleeding,the first aid book said apply pressure.
So I said to him "if you don't stop bleeding right away you'll die".

[jean]

I was talking to Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day.
He was telling me he is working in quality control at Walkers.

That reminds me of a piece played at one of the Fritz Spiegl/Antony Hopkins April Fools Concert.

It was by Jaques Ibert's younger brother Edouard, and was called Pique-nique.