Chancellor Osborne has obviously got constipation. He couldnae budge it!
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Q. What do you call clerics with no underwear?
A. Nicholas Parsons.
"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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... brief, but I think a slip on Caliban's part - in this area I prefer longer combinations.Comment
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Watch it vin, or I'll send some boxers roundOriginally posted by vinteuil View Post
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We await Anna with a remark about drawers, Welsh dresser etc.
Where is Anna...?
Last edited by Nick Armstrong; 25-03-16, 17:40."...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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After all the years that NP's chaired JAM - and no doubt bearing in mind his venerable age - someone a while ago did gently say to him "Y front the show any more?", at which an enraged NP floored him, showing that, for all his 92+ years, he's still guite a good boxer (oh, sorry, I've just seen that Cali's already done the boxer bit); JAM's relatively straight-laced, you see - on ISIHAC, at least you have a round called pick-up thong...Originally posted by vinteuil View PostComment
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No comment from me about Cali's latest. As is well known, there's nothing worn under the kilt in these parts.
(All together now) - "It's all in fine working order."Comment
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Q-why are constipated people so unpleasant to deal with?Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post
A-they just don't give a crapComment
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Q. What do you call a woman balancing a pint of lager on her head while playing snooker?
A. Beer Tricks PotterComment
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From another site (among some more risque material):
In the kitchen this morning I found my wife face down and not breathing,
I panicked, I didn't know what to do... Then I remembered,
McDonald's do breakfast till 10:30!
Met a bloke in a pub at the weekend (near Richmond Park), he offered me eight legs of Venison for £50, do you think that was two deer ?
A serial killer has stabbed 6 people with knitting needles...
Police said in a statement last night.. He seems to be following some sort of pattern!Comment
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"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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Or
What's the difference between Noah's ark and Joan of Arc?
One is made of wood and the other is Maid of OrleansComment
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Or
What do you call an aligator in a vest?
An investigatorComment
That's my Bank Holiday gags sorted, Rob & Dave, ta 
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