Current favourite jokes

[Nick Armstrong]

[Serial_Apologist]

Apparently he's been trumped by another right-wing idiot, so we can all feel relieved and rest easy.

[Nick Armstrong]

Apparently he's been trumped by another right-wing idiot, so we can all feel relieved and rest easy.

Not yet - just in one area, I think, insofar as I understand the comedy electoral system over there.

[Beef Oven!]

Apparently he's been trumped by another right-wing idiot, so we can all feel relieved and rest easy.

Phew, we are spared the left wing idiots - that is indeed a relief

[Nick Armstrong]

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Took me a moment -

(Puts me in mind, for some reason, of something I was told the other day:

The only thing THIS Government will ever give us free of charge is Batteries.

[teamsaint]

Both excellent, Ferney and Cals.

[Nick Armstrong]

(It's an amiable sort of Tourettes - I suppose based in that part of the brain that hears Tonal/Thematic connections in Music; so I should be more grateful )

You are a compulsive and an inveterate punographer, sir!!!!!









.


.... hence I saw this and thought of you!

[Flay]

An American on vacation was inside Westminster Abbey when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "£10,000 per call."

The American, being intrigued, asked the Dean who was strolling by what the telephone was used for. The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 you could talk to God. The American thanked the priest and went on his way.

Next stop was in Lincoln. There, at the cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it. He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in London and asked the Bishop what its purpose was. The Bishop told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for £10,000 he could talk to God. "O.K., thank you," said the American.

He then traveled to Liverpool then Durham. In both Cathedrals he saw the same golden telephone with the same"£10,000 per call" sign under it. So he decided to travel to York to see if they had the same phone.

As as he entered the magnificent York Minster, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read "50 pence per call." He was surprised so he asked a nearby cleaning lady about the sign.

He said, "Madam, I've travelled all over England and I've seen this same golden telephone in many Cathedrals. I'm told that it is a direct line to heaven and that I can talk to God. The price was always £10,000 per call. Why is it only 50 pence here?"

The cleaning lady smiled and said: " Thart in Yorkshire nah lad. It's a local call."

[Richard Barrett]

Continuing the religious theme (apologies if this one has turned up before):

Jesus walks into a restaurant and says, "Table for 26 please".
Maitre d' (looking past him at the entourage): "But sir, there are only thirteen of you."
"Yes, we're all going to sit on the same side."

[johncorrigan]

Continuing the religious theme (apologies if this one has turned up before):

Jesus walks into a restaurant and says, "Table for 26 please".
Maitre d' (looking past him at the entourage): "But sir, there are only thirteen of you."
"Yes, we're all going to sit on the same side."

Good one, Richard.

[Serial_Apologist]

Angela Eagle named in Parliamentary droners probe.

[Nick Armstrong]

Wow. Pancake day has really crêped up on me this year.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Wow. Pancake day has really crêped up on me this year.

[Serial_Apologist]

Forty days and Fawlty Towers' worth of starvation and self-flagellation now to come.

No change there, then.