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Senior trying to set a password
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case
character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case
character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourBacksideIfYouDon 'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER:
ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourB acksideIfYouDontGiveMeAcces
sNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
BEEN THERE???????
Regards AntComment
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My wife brought a test tube,some sulphuric acid and a Bunsen burner to bed last night.
She does like to experiment during sex.Comment
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Originally posted by Ant View Post
Been there all right. This is just like one site that I have to access at work.
"The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard HaitinkComment
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Maharishi Mahesh Yogi refused painkillers during his root canal treatment… he wanted to transcend dental medication.Comment
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]Comment
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Yes!Originally posted by ferneyhoughgeliebte View PostGenius!
"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
Comment
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Or...
Did you hear about the man who spent his life collecting memorabilia of Wonder Woman, Joan of Arc and Florence Nightingale?
Apparently, he was a heroine addict.Comment
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Today's announcement from our egregious Home Secretary made me think it might be timeous to post (or possibly repost?) this. If you think it's politically incorrect, then please don't read it, or if you do, may I remind you of W C Fields' “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.”
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the English issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be all right, Mate". Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.
A final thought - "Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC".Comment
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Excellent!!Best regards,
JonathanComment
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Adding insult to injury and re-told from Sue Macgregor's Sun reunion programme on R4 this morning:
'Why do the French plant trees at the sides of roads?
So that the German soldiers can march in the shade.'Comment
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That reminds me of a totally unfair joke about the Italian army:
Did you know Italian army tanks have five gears? Four reverse, and one forward in case the enemy attacks from the rear.
Its unfair, but I think it's funny.Comment
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Classic Tommy Cooper.
I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?''
He said, ''How flexible are you?''
I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''.Comment
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Classic Les Dawson.
The hotel room was so small that when I put the key in the door it smashed the window!"The sound is the handwriting of the conductor" - Bernard HaitinkComment
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