Current favourite jokes

[Beef Oven!]

Apparently the German PM recently visited france, and when she got to passport control they asked her name.
" Angela Merkel", she said.
" Occupation?"

"No, " came the hurried reply, "Just a short holiday".

[EdgeleyRob]

So the waiter goes to the man in a reaturant and says, 'Your jacket potato sir.'
And the man replies, 'No, it's pure wool.'

[Beef Oven!]

So the waiter goes to the man in a reaturant and says, 'Your jacket potato sir.'
And the man replies, 'No, it's pure wool.'

[EdgeleyRob]

My friend said she was going to cut off the bottom of my trousers and stick then in a library.
I thought 'well that's a turn up for the books'.

[EdgeleyRob]

Salesman: Welcome to my table shop
Customer: Hi, we're looking for a nice table, suitable for a large family
Salesmen: Here's a perfect table, great for eating all your meat-filled meals
Customer: Actually, my family and I are vegetarians
Salesman: Oh... then you'll want to look at our vege-tables.

[Ant]

Hello all,

http://uk.screen.yahoo.com/yes-maam-her-majestys-christmas-120004282.html

Well worth watching, and several other funny cartoon spoofs listed alongside too! They come in
small lumps, not very onerous but funny!

Regards, Ant

[hafod]

A brash American walks into Claridges, goes up to the reception desk and demands in a loud voice, "Gee, where d'ya pee rarnd 'ere?
The receptionist looks up quizically and replies, "Do you see that corridor over there? Well, proceed to the end and turn left. In front of you will be a door marked 'gentlemen'. Do not let that deter you - just go straight in".

[Serial_Apologist]

Hello all,

http://uk.screen.yahoo.com/yes-maam-her-majestys-christmas-120004282.html

Well worth watching, and several other funny cartoon spoofs listed alongside too! They come in
small lumps, not very onerous but funny!

Regards, Ant

One is... quite amused.

[Jonathan]

Q) How does Moses make his tea?

A) Hebrews it!

[Padraig]

Q) How does Moses make his tea?

A) Hebrews it!

Oh Isaiah!

[Petrushka]

Q) How does Moses make his tea?

A) Hebrews it!

Jesus Saves.....Moses invests......
...but only Buddha pays dividends.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Did you know that Moses crossed the Red Sea on a motorcycle? The roar of his triumph was heard all over Israel.

[umslopogaas]

Until the gnashing of gear teeth was heard in the lands of Vincent and Brough (the Superior type) and all the lost tribes of Bigbikes lamented the passing of availability of spare parts and departed in sorrow from the caff of the spoon on the chain and came no more to the frozen wastes of the North Circular Road.

Mighty was the sound of their twin pipes on the rare occasion when both were firing in sych and great they were as they swept down towards the Kingston Byepass! Oh to be young again in those days of black leather and unstarred petrol!

Sorry, got a bit carried away with the memories there ...

[EdgeleyRob]

I can't believe it. Me and my wife were sitting watching TV when the founder of Apple just walked into the house and took all our Mr Sheen!

Bloody Jobs, coming over here and stealing our polish.

[Beef Oven!]

I can't believe it. Me and my wife were sitting watching TV when the founder of Apple just walked into the house and took all our Mr Sheen!

Bloody Jobs, coming over here and stealing our polish.

[Ant]

A man is sitting at the roadside looking very unhappy.
A soldier passing by sees his glum face and asks what the problem is.
I've locked myself out of my car.' replies the man.
'No problem,' replies the soldier 'Let me try by rubbing my backside on the door.'
The motorist is perplexed but reckons there's no harm in letting him try.
The soldier puts his bottom to the car and slowly rubs it up and down the door and the lock clicks
open.
'That's amazing' says the motorist. 'How did you do it?'
'Easy,' replies the soldier. 'I'm wearing khaki trousers.'

Regards Ant...