Current favourite jokes

[Flay]

...not that you were favoured.

Through lack of an address, rather than of esteem, I do hope!

[Sir Velo]

Is this a Beecham joke, or does he just get these accredited to him?

"That lady is Mrs Bossom"
"Bossom? Neither one thing nor the other!"

Ah! Time for a few Beecham jokes I think:

Choir Master "Sir Thomas, what do you think of Stainer's Crucifixion?"
Sir Thomas "I'm all for it".
----

"Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and out of earshot"
---

Beecham was once visited in his dressing room after a concert by an attractive young lady admirer. "Sir Thomas" she asked, "I've been a fan of yours for years. I wonder — would you be so kind as to consider being the godfather of my child".

"Madam" he replied, "I'd be delighted. But... why bring God into it?"
----

[anotherbob]

Told to me by a (now retired) member of the Halle.
Q. If (Name of a conductor) and (Name of another conductor) were to jump off Blackpool Tower at the same time, which would hit the ground first?
A. It doesn't matter.

[alycidon]

I've not read them all......................so:

Who is the only unpaid member of an orchestra?

The man who plays the trumpet voluntary!

[Nick Armstrong]

Hello all,

Young lad from city goes on farm trip, Dad asks later what it was like -
"Smashin', Dad! We stood there in the farmyard and we could see a field of
sheep there, then a field of horses, and then there was a field of
f***ers, then another field of sheep..." "Hang on, son, what did you say
was in that third field?" "F***ers - Miss called them 'effers but we knew
what she meant!"

Regards Ant

On an agricultural theme likewise, an oldie:

Q. What has four legs and flies?

A. A dead cow...

[Ferretfancy]

While we are on agricultural topics -- One day a small boy was taking the family's bull along the road to service some cows, and met the vicar. "Dear me" said the rev. " That's no job for a small boy, can't your father do it?" " Yes" the boy replied, " But not as well as the bull! "

[Padraig]

That's a lotta bull, Ff.

[Serial_Apologist]

That's a lotta bull, Ff.

And I'm not in the mood

[Padraig]

Feeling low, S_A?

[Serial_Apologist]

Feeling low, S_A?

As Beryl Reid howls, after smashing up the TV studio at the end of "The Killing of Sister George": "Moooooooooooooo"!!!

[Ferretfancy]

As Beryl Reid howls, after smashing up the TV studio at the end of "The Killing of Sister George: "Moooooooooooooo!!!

She told a lovely story of appearing as Madam Arcati in Blithe Spirit, which she played with a very refined Morningside accent. Coward came to the dress rehearsal, and complimented her on her performance, and they left the theatre together by the stage door. Treading on air, Beryl called out " Goodnight stage door keeper ! "
To which Coward remarked " Oh, my dear, you know them all by name ! "

[amateur51]

She told a lovely story of appearing as Madam Arcati in Blithe Spirit, which she played with a very refined Morningside accent. Coward came to the dress rehearsal, and complimented her on her performance, and they left the theatre together by the stage door. Treading on air, Beryl called out " Goodnight stage door keeper ! "
To which Coward remarked " Oh, my dear, you know them all by name ! "

Classy!

[Serial_Apologist]

She told a lovely story of appearing as Madam Arcati in Blithe Spirit, which she played with a very refined Morningside accent. Coward came to the dress rehearsal, and complimented her on her performance, and they left the theatre together by the stage door. Treading on air, Beryl called out " Goodnight stage door keeper ! "
To which Coward remarked " Oh, my dear, you know them all by name ! "

[Stillhomewardbound]

Is this a Beecham joke, or does he just get these accredited to him?

"That lady is Mrs Bossom"
"Bossom? Neither one thing nor the other!"

(although come to think of it, there's a german equivalent accredited to Richard Strauss)

It was WS Churchill who exclaimed 'what an extraordinary name, neither etc.' when introduced to one Sir Alfred Bosom.

[EdgeleyRob]

Talking agriculture,I was at one time a farmyard vehicle enthusiast.
Not any more,now I'm an ex tractor fan.