Current favourite jokes

[Nick Armstrong]

recently seen on a portsmouth wall.

"pompey are magic"

added underneath

"watch them disappear from the championship"

Ohh that's as old as the hills... Maybe it's just reached Portsmouth...

[Serial_Apologist]

The time comes for the young nuns to leave the convent. The last to be interviewed enters the Mother Superior's office. "And what do you intend to do with the rest of your life after leaving this place?" asks the Mother Superior.

"Oh I want to be a Prostitute" The girl replies

"A what?" asks the Mother Superior.

"A Prostitute", repeats the girl.

"A WHAT???"

"A PROSTITUTE!!!"

"Oh - I'm sorry my dear; I thought you'd said a Protestant"

[EdgeleyRob]

Black guy goes onto a bar. The barman says, "Sorry kid, we don't serve negroes". "That's okay 'cos I don't eat 'em. Give me a hamburger".

An Engishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman says "is this some kind of joke?".

[teamsaint]

Ohh that's as old as the hills... Maybe it's just reached Portsmouth...

it was reported to me by my pompey supporting friend.
actually he was the one who got caught going over the wall by the police at fratton park....but they made him go back in for the second half !!

(i know, I know another oldie but goldie !)

[teamsaint]

and in more portsmouth news, there is a big hole in the eastern road.........pompey police are looking into it !!

[EdgeleyRob]

and in more portsmouth news, there is a big hole in the eastern road.........pompey police are looking into it !!

All the police dogs have been stolen from the local station.A police spokesman said they have plenty of leads.

[ferneyhoughgeliebte]

Almost as old as the pompeys:

The lavatory facilities at the local Station have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

[Serial_Apologist]

Very old Piccadilly Line "joke":

Is this Cockfosters?
No, it's mine!

[handsomefortune]

serial apologist, was it trevor (cooper)? on the old r3 jazz beeb board, that told the cracker about the minature piano, perhaps someone else knows/remembers it?

some great jokes on this thread : pompey's magical grafffiti and road holes and i've still got a couple of middle pages to catch up on.

this far, grilling george foreman lingers as a punchline ...lucian freud might well have loved to paint that scene. but suprisingly my fave is the topical and (almost) worthy of a leveson inquiry joke, from mr pee,

Newsflash: Police today raided Kermit’s lily pad and found dirty photos of Miss Piggy.

A police spokesman said it was the worst case of Frogs Porn they had ever seen.

it's terrible

[johncorrigan]

Very old Piccadilly Line "joke":

Is this Cockfosters?
No, it's mine!

Reminds me of the old Chic Murray Joke retold by Billy Connolly.
Man's walking through the Olympic village and sees a another guy carrying a long bit of wood on his shoulder.
'Are you a pole vaulter?' .
'No I'm German; how did you know my name was Walter?'

[Serial_Apologist]

Reminds me of the old Chic Murray Joke retold by Billy Connolly.
Man's walking through the Olympic village and sees a another guy carrying a long bit of wood on his shoulder.
'Are you a pole vaulter?' .
'No I'm German; how did you know my name was Walter?'

Yes, that's a good 'un!

[Serial_Apologist]

serial apologist, was it trevor (cooper)? on the old r3 jazz beeb board, that told the cracker about the minature piano, perhaps someone else knows/remembers it?

some great jokes on this thread : pompey's magical grafffiti and road holes and i've still got a couple of middle pages to catch up on.

this far, grilling george foreman lingers as a punchline ...lucian freud might well have loved to paint that scene. but suprisingly my fave is the topical and (almost) worthy of a leveson inquiry joke, from mr pee,

Newsflash: Police today raided Kermit’s lily pad and found dirty photos of Miss Piggy.

A police spokesman said it was the worst case of Frogs Porn they had ever seen.

it's terrible

Vaguely remember TC's "small pianist" joke, handsome. Strange that those sorts of jokes seem to be making a comeback. A whole section of The Wright Stuff was devoted to discussing small condoms now becoming available. Via Amazon?? But there was no snigger-snigger: what man would not want to be seen dead in the check out queue?

[Mr Pee]

A man walks into the sheriff’s office … “I want to become a deputy!”

“Good, I want you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man a wanted poster.

The poster reads : ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots.’

“What’s he wanted for?” asked the hopeful young man.

“Rustling.”

[Serial_Apologist]

A man walks into the sheriff’s office … “I want to become a deputy!”

“Good, I want you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man a wanted poster.

The poster reads : ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots.’

“What’s he wanted for?” asked the hopeful young man.

“Rustling.”

Sounds like a typical Tommy Cooper

[teamsaint]

Reminds me of the time that the inflatable boy was summoned to the inflatable headmasters office, after he had run amok with a drawing pin

" i am very disappointed, said the beak. You have let down the whole school................"