Current favourite jokes

[oddoneout]

In the course of consulting my trusty(and now rather old) Chambers dictionary I was distracted(as often happens ) by another word than the one I was looking up, and it gave me a certain amount of amusement.
Goop : a fool; a fatuous person. I can only assume that american dictionaries don't contain it so it wasn't ruled out in the Paltrow universe as the name for her wellness enterprise...

[johncorrigan]

This comes courtesy of Mark Steele and Paul Merton on 'Room 101' yesterday.
Man goes to the doctor. 'Doctor, I've got a lettuce stuck up my bum. Anything you can do for me?'
Doc says, 'Take your breeks off and we'll have a look.'
So the doctor is fishing around in the guy's back passage and pulls out a few leaves.
'Is that it?', says the guy.
Doc replies, 'No! That's just the tip of the iceberg.'

[Serial_Apologist]

This comes courtesy of Mark Steele and Paul Merton on 'Room 101' yesterday.
Man goes to the doctor. 'Doctor, I've got a lettuce stuck up my bum. Anything you can do for me?'
Doc says, 'Take your breeks off and we'll have a look.'
So the doctor is fishing around in the guy's back passage and pulls out a few leaves.
'Is that it?', says the guy.
Doc replies, 'No! That's just the tip of the iceberg.'

Characteristic of the more sophisticated brand of S London humour. Another being the Jo Brand.