Current favourite jokes

[Serial_Apologist]

I went to the Autopsy Club...it was an open mike night.

No doubt a jam session too!

[oddoneout]

Think I'll pass on dessert(or desert as it increasingly appears)...
"...followed by a delectable burnt Basque cheesecake."

[Serial_Apologist]

Think I'll pass on dessert(or desert as it increasingly appears)...
"...followed by a delectable burnt Basque cheesecake."

A cheesecake wrapped up in a burnt basque wouldn't look too appetising!

[johncorrigan]

The guy who invented throat lozenges has just died. There's to be no coffin at the funeral.

[oddoneout]

Not mine own(from Guardian BTL), but thought it worth sharing

Hand written sign seen in Essex: "Vote wisely, not Cleverly"

Given added piquancy because of Jimmy Dimly being MP for Braintree...

[Serial_Apologist]

Not mine own(from Guardian BTL), but thought it worth sharing

Given added piquancy because of Jimmy Dimly being MP for Braintree...

[vinteuil]

... peerage for Chris Grayling! - (well, it's a lord-ship, if he can't find any other ships... )

[Serial_Apologist]

... peerage for Chris Grayling! - (well, it's a lord-ship, if he can't find any other ships... )

A diss-a-peerage, in other words.

[LMcD]

Apparently Labour won Suffolk Coastal because quite a few people decided to go for a Coffey break rather than head for the polling station.

[burning dog]

Interviewer: "What would you say is your biggest weakness?"

Me: "I REALLY don't care what people think about me"

Interviewer: "I wouldn't consider that a weakness"

Me: "I don't give a f*ck what you think"

[Serial_Apologist]

Interviewer: "What would you say is your biggest weakness?"

Me: "I REALLY don't care what people think about me"

Interviewer: "I wouldn't consider that a weakness"

Me: "I don't give a f*ck what you think"

During a business studies session on a course I attended in the 1990s we were asked stock interviewer questions and advised what our answers should be. To the question, "What do you consider your weak points to be?" one of the students replied, "My tendency to admit mistakes". The lecturer then told him, "You won't get very far in employment prospect terms today with that kind of attitude".

Clearly we were being conditioned for 14 years of Conservative government

[burning dog]

Clearly we were being conditioned for 14 years of Conservative government

Maybe they didnt have sufficient time to admit them all

[burning dog]

Interviewer: What would consider to be your main weakness?

Me: I find it difficult to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

Interviewer: And your main strength?

Me: I'm Superman!

[Serial_Apologist]

Interviewer: What would consider to be your main weakness?

Me: I find it difficult to distinguish between reality and fantasy.

Interviewer: And your main strength?

Me: I'm Superman!

I've always loved that story told by RD Laing about the schizophrenic who claimed to be Jesus Christ. So when doctors decided to give him a lie detector test to see what it would come up with, they were surprised, when the man said "No" when asked if he was Jesus, that the lie detector declared him to be lying!

[burning dog]

Excellent SA