Current favourite jokes

[Serial_Apologist]

BLOODY HELL !!

I've read that Cadbury's are removing the chocolate wrap on Twirl Bars, but I suspect this is flake news.

Only when it comes to the crunch!

[johncorrigan]

Only when it comes to the crunch!

I think someone's lyin', S_A.

[Serial_Apologist]

I think someone's lyin', S_A.

Ah well, as Dad would wearily say.

[Pulcinella]

Isn't this the current joke, though it might not be a favourite?

Radio 3: the home of classical music

[Serial_Apologist]

Isn't this the current joke, though it might not be a favourite?

Radio 3: the home of classical music

Put "one time", "erstwhile", or "once much loved" between "the" and "home".

[Serial_Apologist]

"Labour also won in Hartlepool South - a place which a few years ago was an example of Conservative creep".

- Just now on the BBC1 news.

[Roslynmuse]

"Labour also won in Hartlepool South - a place which a few years ago was an example of Conservative creep".

- Just now on the BBC1 news.

Did they specify which particular creep?

[Serial_Apologist]

Did they specify which particular creep?

No!

[LMcD]

Martin Clunes on last night's HIGNFY: 'The difference between the current disturbances on US campuses and the Vietnam War is that Agent Orange is now sitting, glowering, in a New York courtroom'

[Serial_Apologist]

Martin Clunes on last night's HIGNFY: 'The difference between the current disturbances on US campuses and the Vietnam War is that Agent Orange is now sitting, glowering, in a New York courtroom'

Utterly brilliant episode - this show goes from strength to strength, demonstrating how well wearing political satire can be since politics (as we unfortunately know it) never changes its spots. For me the biggest belly laugh came from Paul Merton right at the end with the closing incomplete caption competition! Today's Dead Ringers on R4 was another classic I'm mentioning here rather than on the correct thread to save on carbon miles. How they come up with such sharp multi-levelled observations in zero time always astonishes me; one can only suppose the capacity for the instant quip comes naturally by habit.

[LMcD]

Utterly brilliant episode - this show goes from strength to strength, demonstrating how well wearing political satire can be since politics (as we unfortunately know it) never changes its spots. For me the biggest belly laugh came from Paul Merton right at the end with the closing incomplete caption competition! Today's Dead Ringers on R4 was another classic I'm mentioning here rather than on the correct thread to save on carbon miles. How they come up with such sharp multi-levelled observations in zero time always astonishes me; one can only suppose the capacity for the instant quip comes naturally by habit.

[Boilk]

I hope they bring back hanging before the next general election. This country desperately needs a hung Parliament

[Roger Webb]

A man walks into a pub attracted by the chalked sign board on the pavement which reads 'A Pint, A Pie and a Kindly Word...£6'

He goes up to the bar and says to the landlord, 'I'd like to go for the Pint, Pie, and Kindly Word, seems good value at £6 - the pint's £4.50 alone'

'Oh it is good value sir' replied the landlord pulling a pint of beer...'I'll just nip out the back and get your pie'

The man sips his pint, noting the excellence of the beer. The landlord comes back in with a pie on a plate with a knife and fork wrapped in a paper napkin and places it on the bar.

The man hesitates for a while and says, 'I've had the pint, it's very good, the pie's here, er, what's the kindly word?

The landlord replies 'I wouldn't eat the pie if I were you'

[LMcD]

I hope they bring back hanging before the next general election. This country desperately needs a hung Parliament

What a 'capital' idea!

[johncorrigan]

I went to the Autopsy Club...it was an open mike night.