Current favourite jokes

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  • Edgy 2
    Guest
    • Jan 2019
    • 2035

    “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

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    • Serial_Apologist
      Full Member
      • Dec 2010
      • 37323

      Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post
      Is that a belated April Fool, Edgy? Or genuinely serious? Really, the world as we once knew it gets more and more bizarre every day!

      Comment

      • Ein Heldenleben
        Full Member
        • Apr 2014
        • 6579

        Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
        Is that a belated April Fool, Edgy? Or genuinely serious? Really, the world as we once knew it gets more and more bizarre every day!
        I think it’s a (quite funny ) joke . But what isn’t a joke are those ones where you have to select traffic lights which are American and you don’t recognise them !

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        • Edgy 2
          Guest
          • Jan 2019
          • 2035

          Yes a joke and I also struggle with those traffic lights
          “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

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          • cloughie
            Full Member
            • Dec 2011
            • 22068

            Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post
            Yes a joke and I also struggle with those traffic lights
            There should be one of sections of the score of 4’33” saying select the ones which have a note on them.

            Comment

            • johncorrigan
              Full Member
              • Nov 2010
              • 10280

              Paraphrasing Andy Zaltzman on 'The News Quiz' this evening: Given the present new health issues and it's effect on people's finances, Paul Lewis will host an edition of 'Monkeypox Live' on Radio 4.

              Comment

              • Serial_Apologist
                Full Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 37323

                Headline on today's BBC lunchtime news: "Tory MP groped men in private members club".

                Who would have, er, spotted that? Not ones for puns, our friends at the Beeb?

                Comment

                • johncorrigan
                  Full Member
                  • Nov 2010
                  • 10280

                  Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                  Headline on today's BBC lunchtime news: "Tory MP groped men in private members club".

                  Who would have, er, spotted that? Not ones for puns, our friends at the Beeb?
                  I assume they serve bols cocktails in there, S_A.

                  Comment

                  • Serial_Apologist
                    Full Member
                    • Dec 2010
                    • 37323

                    In a shock statement today, Mo Farage, the once media-courted and assumed political long distancer, has revealed that far from his place of birth being Kent, as was widely believed, he had in fact been born in Somalia and trafficked to the United Kingdom as a child. "The biggest challenge facing us was in persuading the people of South Thanet - a notorious entry point for illegal migrants - to let us through", he stated.

                    Comment

                    • cloughie
                      Full Member
                      • Dec 2011
                      • 22068

                      Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                      In a shock statement today, Mo Farage, the once media-courted and assumed political long distancer, has revealed that far from his place of birth being Kent, as was widely believed, he had in fact been born in Somalia and trafficked to the United Kingdom as a child. "The biggest challenge facing us was in persuading the people of South Thanet - a notorious entry point for illegal migrants - to let us through", he stated.
                      They ran after him but couldn’t catch him!

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                      • Serial_Apologist
                        Full Member
                        • Dec 2010
                        • 37323

                        Originally posted by cloughie View Post
                        They ran after him but couldn’t catch him!

                        Comment

                        • oddoneout
                          Full Member
                          • Nov 2015
                          • 8969

                          While looking through the table of charity fundraising books outside Tesco the other day I saw this blurb on the front cover of one; "However far you fall God can use you again".
                          Well I suppose re-use is preferable to recycle...

                          Comment

                          • Serial_Apologist
                            Full Member
                            • Dec 2010
                            • 37323

                            Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
                            While looking through the table of charity fundraising books outside Tesco the other day I saw this blurb on the front cover of one; "However far you fall God can use you again".
                            Well I suppose re-use is preferable to recycle...
                            I wonder how many people have noticed the number of individuals and organisations devoted to the promulgation of the idea of "'Im Upstairs" that seem to be proliferating just now. I suppose it's an alternative to the unacceptable one of advocating practicable political alternatives. Being something of a devotee to horror films, I spent the latter part of yesterday evening watching "The Conjuring", an American movie from 2013 about a nice middle class family becoming possessed by malevolent spirits in the house they have bought. There were some good effects - how does one manage to stage people being dragged out of bed by their ankles without using ropes? but most of this was about pretty young women and children - and one wonders as to the psychological impact of making such movies on them - being threatened and attacked mostly from behind from things lurking in shadows and the inevitable previously unknown about cellars. Really there was only one male who inevitably gets his eventual comeuppance for being the usual snide sceptic - up to which point the paranormal investigative team who take up residence have thankfully made few references to the One Great Evilness Challenger - but it is only in the closing credits that we are told in no uncertain terms that we all need to be on the constant lookout because There Really Are Evil Forces At Work Out There - and, if course, In Here - while all the time rekindling ideas of women, in particular, as on the one hand the special bearers of clairvoyance and on the other their own worst enemies for either being or making themselves so obvious, stereotyped and vulnerable. Yet we watch such stuff and still wonder what it is about America and Americans...

                            Comment

                            • oddoneout
                              Full Member
                              • Nov 2015
                              • 8969

                              Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                              I wonder how many people have noticed the number of individuals and organisations devoted to the promulgation of the idea of "'Im Upstairs" that seem to be proliferating just now. I suppose it's an alternative to the unacceptable one of advocating practicable political alternatives. Being something of a devotee to horror films, I spent the latter part of yesterday evening watching "The Conjuring", an American movie from 2013 about a nice middle class family becoming possessed by malevolent spirits in the house they have bought. There were some good effects - how does one manage to stage people being dragged out of bed by their ankles without using ropes? but most of this was about pretty young women and children - and one wonders as to the psychological impact of making such movies on them - being threatened and attacked mostly from behind from things lurking in shadows and the inevitable previously unknown about cellars. Really there was only one male who inevitably gets his eventual comeuppance for being the usual snide sceptic - up to which point the paranormal investigative team who take up residence have thankfully made few references to the One Great Evilness Challenger - but it is only in the closing credits that we are told in no uncertain terms that we all need to be on the constant lookout because There Really Are Evil Forces At Work Out There - and, if course, In Here - while all the time rekindling ideas of women, in particular, as on the one hand the special bearers of clairvoyance and on the other their own worst enemies for either being or making themselves so obvious, stereotyped and vulnerable. Yet we watch such stuff and still wonder what it is about America and Americans...
                              Abdication of responsibility does have its appeal when life seems to be too overwhelming.

                              Comment

                              • Serial_Apologist
                                Full Member
                                • Dec 2010
                                • 37323

                                Originally posted by oddoneout View Post
                                Abdication of responsibility does have its appeal when life seems to be too overwhelming.
                                Too true, unfortunately.

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