Current favourite jokes

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  • LMcD
    Full Member
    • Sep 2017
    • 8408

    This little man rushes into a bank in Prague and approaches the security guard. 'Can I hide in your strong-room for half-an-hour or so? I'm on the run from some people to whom I owe money and was hoping you might cache a small Czech.'

    Comment

    • Pulcinella
      Host
      • Feb 2014
      • 10889

      Q: What does a unicorn call its father?
      A: Popcorn.

      (Told to us delightfully and with much mirth by our godson's young daughter as we were video chatting with the family in Melbourne just now.)

      Comment

      • gurnemanz
        Full Member
        • Nov 2010
        • 7380

        Some trivia for cricket fans:

        When did father and son play for the same International cricket team?

        Pakistan:

        Miandad

        Comment

        • johncorrigan
          Full Member
          • Nov 2010
          • 10348

          Originally posted by gurnemanz View Post
          Some trivia for cricket fans:

          When did father and son play for the same International cricket team?

          Pakistan:

          Miandad


          Man in butcher shop: Have you got a sheep's head?
          Butcher: No! It's just the way I part my hair!

          Comment

          • Serial_Apologist
            Full Member
            • Dec 2010
            • 37593

            Originally posted by Pulcinella View Post
            Q: What does a unicorn call its father?
            A: Popcorn.

            (Told to us delightfully and with much mirth by our godson's young daughter as we were video chatting with the family in Melbourne just now.)
            Reminds me of a workmate who acquired two goats, and told everybody he was thinking of setting up a goats' milk business. "And call it Unigoat?" I suggested.

            Comment

            • gurnemanz
              Full Member
              • Nov 2010
              • 7380

              Originally posted by johncorrigan View Post


              Man in butcher shop: Have you got a sheep's head?
              Butcher: No! It's just the way I part my hair!
              Same man goes to a different butcher's shop. Butcher makes him an offer:

              Butcher: Do you want half a pig?
              Man: No thanks. It would fall over

              Comment

              • Edgy 2
                Guest
                • Jan 2019
                • 2035

                Bank robber: "Give me all the money or you're Geography!'

                Cashier "Don't you mean history?"

                Robber "Don't change the subject."
                “Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor Stravinsky

                Comment

                • vinteuil
                  Full Member
                  • Nov 2010
                  • 12793

                  .

                  "Whatever you think you know it's wrong"

                  Piers Corbyn, election manifesto, 'Let London Live' party, London Assembly election 6 May 2021

                  .

                  Comment

                  • Bryn
                    Banned
                    • Mar 2007
                    • 24688

                    Originally posted by vinteuil View Post
                    .

                    "Whatever you think you know it's wrong"

                    Piers Corbyn, election manifesto, 'Let London Live' party, London Assembly election 6 May 2021
                    A strange and rather dangerous man.

                    Comment

                    • Serial_Apologist
                      Full Member
                      • Dec 2010
                      • 37593

                      Originally posted by Bryn View Post
                      A strange and rather dangerous man.
                      But is he though? I rather think most people would regard him as a harmless eccentric. I did know him, briefly, in the late 1970s, when he was in one of the smaller Trotskyist groups, Worlers' Fight (or would it have been Workers Fight?!) and, from memory, one of the leading lights of CAMRA, and I think he was talking about setting himself up as an alternative weather forecasting service. He already conveyed that strange bearing of vagueness. He did appear in a series of television programmes titled "Whatever Happened to the Left?" or some such title, a number of years ago, and gave a good but standard account of The Transitional Programme (which I won't bother people with, it can be located on Wiki). In fact I may have them on VHS - will check.

                      Comment

                      • vinteuil
                        Full Member
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 12793

                        Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                        I rather think most people would regard him as a harmless eccentric. .
                        ... I don't think his covid denialism and anti-vaxx position is harmless at all



                        .

                        Comment

                        • Bryn
                          Banned
                          • Mar 2007
                          • 24688

                          Originally posted by Serial_Apologist View Post
                          But is he though? I rather think most people would regard him as a harmless eccentric. I did know him, briefly, in the late 1970s, when he was in one of the smaller Trotskyist groups, Worlers' Fight (or would it have been Workers Fight?!) and, from memory, one of the leading lights of CAMRA, and I think he was talking about setting himself up as an alternative weather forecasting service. He already conveyed that strange bearing of vagueness. He did appear in a series of television programmes titled "Whatever Happened to the Left?" or some such title, a number of years ago, and gave a good but standard account of The Transitional Programme (which I won't bother people with, it can be located on Wiki). In fact I may have them on VHS - will check.
                          Dangerous in his organising gatherings of those failing to take preventative action against SARS-CoV-2 infection, thus encouraging further cases of CIVID-19 with consequent deaths from/with it. It is quite possible to be both highly intelligent and severely delusional. More and more home-printed stickers promoting the ideas he pushes have been appearing in the area in which I live. The ideas they promote encourage activity that is likely to feed the pandemic.

                          Comment

                          • gurnemanz
                            Full Member
                            • Nov 2010
                            • 7380

                            Originally posted by vinteuil View Post
                            .

                            "Whatever you think you know it's wrong"

                            Piers Corbyn, election manifesto, 'Let London Live' party, London Assembly election 6 May 2021

                            .
                            Presumably, that is wrong.
                            .

                            Comment

                            • LMcD
                              Full Member
                              • Sep 2017
                              • 8408

                              Originally posted by gurnemanz View Post
                              Presumably, that is wrong.
                              .
                              That's right!

                              Comment

                              • gurnemanz
                                Full Member
                                • Nov 2010
                                • 7380

                                Latest Private Eye cover.
                                The official site for Private Eye magazine, the UK's number one best-selling news and current affairs publication edited by Ian Hislop. Subscribe here for only £45 a year.

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