Current favourite jokes

[Serial_Apologist]

"Leave it to me", says the little hunchback. He has come in answer to the call out for a replacement for Notre Dame's chef bell ringer.

Brushing past the bystanders, without further ado he bounds up the long wooden staircase leading up to the large bell at the top of the cathedral's tallest tower. There, standing on an adjacent crossbeam, he reaches out for the rope to tilt the great bell towards himself. Once the bell's rim is in his hands, he lets it go.. The bell swings outwards in a great arc - its huge tone ringing out to the citizens that the fate of Paris is once more in safe hands - and then swings back, hitting Quasimodo square on the nose, dislodging him into the void. The bystanders gather around the hunchback's broken body, sprawled on the stone flags below.

"Does anybody know him?" asks one.

"I don't think I know him" says another, "but his face rings a bell".

[johncorrigan]

"Leave it to me", says the little hunchback. He has come in answer to the call out for a replacement for Notre Dame's chef bell ringer.

Brushing past the bystanders, without further ado he bounds up the long wooden staircase leading up to the large bell at the top of the cathedral's tallest tower. There, standing on an adjacent crossbeam, he reaches out for the rope to tilt the great bell towards himself. Once the bell's rim is in his hands, he lets it go.. The bell swings outwards in a great arc - its huge tone ringing out to the citizens that the fate of Paris is once more in safe hands - and then swings back, hitting Quasimodo square on the nose, dislodging him into the void. The bystanders gather around the hunchback's broken body, sprawled on the stone flags below.

"Does anybody know him?" asks one.

"I don't think I know him" says another, "but his face rings a bell".

What's wrapped in aluminium foil and hangs around the cathedral? The lunch pack of Notre Dame!

[Nick Armstrong]

"Leave it to me", says the little hunchback. He has come in answer to the call out for a replacement for Notre Dame's chef bell ringer.

Brushing past the bystanders, without further ado he bounds up the long wooden staircase leading up to the large bell at the top of the cathedral's tallest tower. There, standing on an adjacent crossbeam, he reaches out for the rope to tilt the great bell towards himself. Once the bell's rim is in his hands, he lets it go.. The bell swings outwards in a great arc - its huge tone ringing out to the citizens that the fate of Paris is once more in safe hands - and then swings back, hitting Quasimodo square on the nose, dislodging him into the void. The bystanders gather around the hunchback's broken body, sprawled on the stone flags below.

"Does anybody know him?" asks one.

"I don't think I know him" says another, "but his face rings a bell".

Old as the hills!!

(I like john c’s ‘lunchpack’ variation! )

[Edgy 2]

I'm proud to announce that after 3 Years hard work I have been awarded a First Class Degree in Salad Preparation.
I'm so pleased I now have lettuce after my name.

[Nick Armstrong]

I'm proud to announce that after 3 Years hard work I have been awarded a First Class Degree in Salad Preparation.
I'm so pleased I now have lettuce after my name.

As far as your talents are concerned, Edgy, I’m sure that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

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(Anyone seen my coat?)

[Edgy 2]

Groan

[vinteuil]

I'm proud to announce that after 3 Years hard work I have been awarded a First Class Degree in Salad Preparation.
I'm so pleased I now have lettuce after my name.

... cos he's worth it


.

[oddoneout]

... cos he's worth it.

Long may he romaine with us.

[vinteuil]

Long may he romaine with us.

... frisée jolly good fellow

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[Pulcinella]

... frisée jolly good fellow

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Someone round here needs to be given a rocket!

[oddoneout]

With a bit of gender re-assignment this would be the ideal variety to serve at No 10

Grosse Blonde Paresseuse. (Syn. Fat Lazy Blonde). (D.I.) Maison Rustique.1844. "Fine, large-sized & productive. It grows well & keeps the head perfectly in hot weather."

although its good qualities rather exceed the current incumbent's.

I have grown both that variety and the equally non PC Ubriacona Frastigliata

[vinteuil]

Someone round here needs to be given a rocket!

... we endiver to please

.

[gradus]

I'm proud to announce that after 3 Years hard work I have been awarded a First Class Degree in Salad Preparation.
I'm so pleased I now have lettuce after my name.

A welcome return.

[johncorrigan]

although its good qualities rather exceed the current incumbent's.

Don't you mean cucumbent, ooo?

[Serial_Apologist]

... we endiver to please

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Lettuce pray...