Current favourite jokes

[Padraig]

Other than the Plymouth one and the garden tool I didn’t know there were other meanings to the word!

Whoa!

[Tapiola]

A friend's elderly father caused us much amusement several years ago when he said he'd been out in the garden getting down with the hose. He couldn't understand our sniggering.

[Serial_Apologist]

Fascinating. Students in Effingham Surrey might be concerned about the name of their school - Howard of Effingham - abbreviated HOE!

Is that the school where effing and blinding are on the syllabus?

[vinteuil]

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/...offensive-term

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16002460

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[Serial_Apologist]

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16002460

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I'd always assumed the place name to be Elfin - given is is in Ireland!

[Bert]

This must've happened to you at least once. You're at home and you have to rush to the loo. After, you reach for the toilet paper and someone's used it all, so you do that silly waddle-walk with your underpants and trousers around your ankles as you go to get a new roll. Well, that is what has just happened to me as I type - but it's ok, I'm nearly at Sainsbury's .....

[cloughie]

This must've happened to you at least once. You're at home and you have to rush to the loo. After, you reach for the toilet paper and someone's used it all, so you do that silly waddle-walk with your underpants and trousers around your ankles as you go to get a new roll. Well, that is what has just happened to me as I type - but it's ok, I'm nearly at Sainsbury's .....

...empty shelves?

[Serial_Apologist]

...empty shelves?

The Brentwood branch of Sainsburys used to have a notice hanging over the loo paper etc aisles which read:

"RECYCLED TOILET PAPER"

[LezLee]

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https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-16002460

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As a teenager and young woman in the '50s and '60s, the use of' 'pro' as in 'professional' used to make me squirm. It was always 'prostitute' in my innocent years.

[Serial_Apologist]

As a teenager and young woman in the '50s and '60s, the use of' 'pro' as in 'professional' used to make me squirm. It was always 'prostitute' in my innocent years.

Then you can't have done Latin at school, otherwise you would have learned that the word "prostitute" originates from "pro stare", meaning to stand instead of, or in place of.

Well, that's what our Latin teacher taught us!

[LezLee]

Then you can't have done Latin at school, otherwise you would have learned that the word "prostitute" originates from "pro stare", meaning to stand instead of, or in place of.

Well, that's what our Latin teacher taught us!

'

I was good at Latin at school but perhaps the connection wasn't pointed out to giggling schoolgirls!

[oddoneout]

I think I know what was meant by this but it does conjure up some odd thoughts.
Report on plans to extend a burial ground

Planning was approved with 14 conditions, including (...........) an emergency flood and evacuation plan.

[Serial_Apologist]

I think I know what was meant by this but it does conjure up some odd thoughts.
Report on plans to extend a burial ground

I wonder which body was involved in that plan!

[Pulcinella]

I wonder which body was involved in that plan!

Possibly one that employed only skeleton staff?

[Serial_Apologist]

Possibly one that employed only skeleton staff?