Current favourite jokes

[ahinton]

I'm a gluten for punishment, cloughie!

Crumbs! Really?

[Padraig]

Crumbs! Really?

For the birds.

[Serial_Apologist]

For the birds.

The greater crusted grebe, especially.

[ahinton]

For the birds.

A crusty retort, methinks!

[Vox Humana]

Better than the half-baked one I was considering.

[Bryn]

You on Windows 3:1?

No, but the only way I can get to view what I take it was posted from one of those Apple toys is to prepare a reply with quote, copy the URL of the image you intended to post and stick that in the address bar. Strange thing is, it's only images that you post that fail to display without such a procedure. Everybody else's displays without a problem.

[ahinton]

Better than the half-baked one I was considering.

...while the sun rises in the yeast as the yeast rises in the...

[Bryn]

Just a reminder, re the early part of this item:

"Things could have been far worse if China had regarded the WHO as hostile. As it was, Beijing first reported a cluster of cases of pneumonia in Wuhan on 31st December 2019..........The WHO was then quick to act. The next day, on 1st January 2020, as the head of China’s centre for disease control briefed his counterpart in the United States.......,"
"Over the weekend of 11th-12th January, the Chinese authorities shared the full sequence of the coronavirus genome. Consequently, by 16th January German researchers in Berlin had already developed a new lab test for the virus, soon followed by companies in South Korea"
"Other countries did not follow the WHO advice, and there was little the organisation could do. In the UK and the US, weeks went by without the adequate development and rollout of testing. Both were forced to limit testing severely as the virus spread. "
"Even where a sufficient weight of expertise settles into a consensus, the WHO is not automatically free to act on it. It cannot declare a “Public Health Emergency of International Concern” (PHEIC) without convening an Emergency Committee of experts to review the evidence and make a call, a restriction governments have imposed. The WHO convened such a committee on 22nd-23rd January and it failed to reach a consensus. Fortunately, it did not let matters rest. Instead, it despatched a senior delegation to China to gather more data and to call a second meeting of the Emergency Committee at which the experts gave approval to declare a PHEIC on 30th January."

from the current issue of Prospect Magazine, alerted to by 'Count Boso'

[LMcD]

Better than the half-baked one I was considering.

I would like to claim that I was my mother's pride but I don't think that was always the case.

[MrGongGong]

[LMcD]

Subtle British humour at its best?

[LMcD]

A packet of peanuts walks into a pub, approaches the bar and asks for a pint of bitter. 'I'm sorry', says the barman, 'We don't serve food here'.

[Serial_Apologist]

A packet of peanuts walks into a pub, approaches the bar and asks for a pint of bitter. 'I'm sorry', says the barman, 'We don't serve food here'.

Reminds me of the one where Muddy Waters' son Clear Waters goes into a bar in Arkansas. The barman says, "Sorry kid, we don't serve negroes", to which CW answers, "That's OK 'cos I don't eat em. Give me a hamburger".

[LMcD]

Reminds me of the one where Muddy Waters' son Clear Waters goes into a bar in Arkansas. The barman says, "Sorry kid, we don't serve negroes", to which CW answers, "That's OK 'cos I don't eat em. Give me a hamburger".

[LeMartinPecheur]

Reminds me of the one where Muddy Waters' son Clear Waters goes into a bar in Arkansas. The barman says, "Sorry kid, we don't serve negroes", to which CW answers, "That's OK 'cos I don't eat em. Give me a hamburger".

Mutatis mutandis:

It's Rangers v Celtic day in Glasgow. There's a pub in the Rangers end of town. It's packed with Rangers supporters all swearing death (or worse) to all Celtic supporters. The door opens and it's filled with the biggest Scotsman they've ever seen. Not just that, he's got an enormous crocodile under his arm and he's shouting, "D'you sairrrve Celtic suppor'ers?"

The landlord looks at his regulars but they're all edging away and heading for the back door. So he swallows and whispers,"Aye, aye, we sairve Celtic suppor'ers..."

"Guid," says the newcomer firmly, "That's a pint of beer for me, an' a Celtic suppor'er for ma crocodile!"

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I'll get me (completely non-sectarian) coat