Current favourite jokes

[MrGongGong]

[oddoneout]

A regular columnist in the local paper came up with a list of ponderables to occupy lockdown time. Completely daft but I welcomed the lift to the spirits on what was turning into a difficult morning mood-wise.
I offer 3 from an extensive list
Why isn't phonetics spelt the way it sounds?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

[MrGongGong]

A regular columnist in the local paper came up with a list of ponderables to occupy lockdown time. Completely daft but I welcomed the lift to the spirits on what was turning into a difficult morning mood-wise.
I offer 3 from an extensive list
Why isn't phonetics spelt the way it sounds?
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

For your Christmas list

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pterodactyl-Worst-Alphabet-Book-Ever/dp/149266393X

Though it's not "the worst" by any stretch of the imagination

[LezLee]

Before this Coronavirus I enjoyed fly fishing, my best was a ten pound bluebottle.

[Vox Humana]

Before this Coronavirus I enjoyed fly fishing, my best was a ten pound bluebottle.

Brilliant. I never got more than 5p for any of mine.

[MrGongGong]

Joke ?

[DracoM]

Exactly. The sheer nerve of the man..............his PR machiavels

[Serial_Apologist]

And yet this woman, in the supermarket checkout queue behind me this morning, volunteered her opinion - which I had not requested - that "Boris is doiing a very good job on this coronavirus busniess - a very good job". "And I am cheerful, thank you very much", she added, after I had offered my own unrequested opinion.

A few minutes earlier, in the old grumpy's queue outside, I had been speaking to a lady of Caribbean extraction by way of New York who had offered very different opinions, freely interlaced by numerous uses of the word "frickin'"

[MrGongGong]

And yet this woman, in the supermarket checkout queue behind me this morning, volunteered her opinion - which I had not requested - that "Boris is doiing a very good job on this coronavirus busniess - a very good job". "And I am cheerful, thank you very much", she added, after I had offered my own unrequested opinion.

A few minutes earlier, in the old grumpy's queue outside, I had been speaking to a lady of Caribbean extraction by way of New York who had offered very different opinions, freely interlaced by numerous uses of the word "frickin'"

Sadly, many people are unable to recognise theatre when it happens outside of a building with a stage.....

No wonder so many politicians are against media studies

[Vox Humana]

When it comes to sheer stupidity among voters, it's hard to beat this lot - although we certainly have similar types here too. However, I only managed to watch the first four minutes or so of this. Perhaps it got better...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzDhm808oU4&feature=youtu.be

[Serial_Apologist]

When it comes to sheer stupidity among voters, it's hard to beat this lot - although we certainly have similar types here too. However, I only managed to watch the first four minutes or so of this. Perhaps it got better...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzDh...ature=youtu.be

It got as good.

[DracoM]

Crikey. How depressing is that. How predictable is that.

[MrGongGong]

Crikey. How depressing is that. How predictable is that.

On a par with

TRIGGER WARNING.... CONTAINS MOVING IMAGES OF DELUSIONAL IDIOTS BANGING THEIR HANDS TOGETHER

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1266241/clap-for-boris-johnson-coronavirus-intensive-care-video

[johncorrigan]

On a par with

TRIGGER WARNING.... CONTAINS MOVING IMAGES OF DELUSIONAL IDIOTS BANGING THEIR HANDS TOGETHER

https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/12...ive-care-video

I thought he'd got the clap as well as the virus there, MrGG!

[MrGongGong]

I thought he'd got the clap as well as the virus there, MrGG!

He had a test