Current favourite jokes

[Edgy 2]

My wife said to me “If you’re bored why not make a bird table ?”
Now she’s kicking off because I’ve put her in 5th place

[LezLee]

[LMcD]

My wife said to me “If you’re bored why not make a bird table ?”
Now she’s kicking off because I’ve put her in 5th place

5th out of how many, dare one ask?

[Edgy 2]

5th out of how many, dare one ask?

[hmvman]

Latest Covid news from Europe: King Felipe, the Spanish monarch, has been quarantined in his private jet.

Officials confirmed that the reign in Spain stays mainly in the plane.

[oddoneout]

I finally managed to get a delivery slot for my online shopping, so I've ordered turkey, sprouts, Christmas cake, crackers and a pudding.

[Edgy 2]

My neighbour said yesterday, your front room is the same size as mine, how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy when you decorated?
I said,8.
He just knocked, saying he has 4 rolls left over?
I said, I know, I was the same

[johncorrigan]

I finally managed to get a delivery slot for my online shopping, so I've ordered turkey, sprouts, Christmas cake, crackers and a pudding.

[Edgy 2]

That's a coincidence,my local Inland Revenue office is also on fire so I've written a letter to the fire brigade

[alycidon]

That's a coincidence,my local Inland Revenue office is also on fire so I've written a letter to the fire brigade

Many years ago when I lived on the Isle of Wight the story went around that a certain lady did just that - dropped a line to the brigade to say that her kitchen was on fire. Seems rather improbable but that was the story!

[johncorrigan]

That's a coincidence,my local Inland Revenue office is also on fire so I've written a letter to the fire brigade

[LeMartinPecheur]

Seen locally, 'This is the longest anything made in China has ever lasted."

[Bryn]

Seen locally, 'This is the longest anything made in China has ever lasted."

There's nothing like a bot of tird-rate racism.is there?

[LeMartinPecheur]

There's nothing like a bot of tird-rate racism.is there?

I shall treat that riposte with the contempt I believe it deserves.

[Bryn]

I shall treat that riposte with the contempt I believe it deserves.

Best you reserve your contempt for the racism inherent in what you saw locally.