Originally posted by Vox Humana
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No, no - I think they're coot. -
“Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor StravinskyComment
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It's taken me a while to work out what's going on here, but the implication is that the nerdy child on the right in the red top is attempting to prove to his teacher that his homework has been eaten by the family dog, & that he he hopes to accomplish this by sandwiching the unfortunate pet in an unrealistic TV/X-Ray machine hybrid gizmo bearing no convincing resemblance to any existing or previously-extant apparatus that I can usefully recall. The teacher seems unimpressed, but I remain hopeful that there is a more interesting explanation...Originally posted by Edgy 2 View PostComment
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Audi advertising their oh so safe cars to the accompaniment of Verdi’s Requiem. “Here, buy this death-trap”.Comment
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Don’t hold your breath MacOriginally posted by Maclintick View Post“Music is the best means we have of digesting time." — Igor StravinskyComment
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Made me chuckle, anyway.Originally posted by Edgy 2 View Post[FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]Comment
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Husband: Darling, thank you so much for introducing me to minimalism.
Wife: Not at all. It's the least I could do!Comment
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An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'
'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..
' Same for me,' says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'
'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big bum and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.
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Sounds like a bit of Aussie trucker stereotyping there, Lez - though it's probably pretty accurate!
A man goes into a pub, accompanied by a giraffe, and orders a pint of bitter for himself and ten gallons of bitter for the giraffe.
The man drinks down the pint, and the giraffe the ten gallons, whereupon the giraffe crashes to the floor in a heap, and the man gets up to leave.
"Oi!" says the barman, "You ain't leaving that lyin' there!"
"That's not a lion, it's a giraffe" the man replies.Comment
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How do you know there's a bagpiper at your door?
Wrong key...doesn't know when to come in!Comment
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I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 and 500 in Roman numerals.
IM LIVID"...the isle is full of noises,
Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices..."
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[FONT=Comic Sans MS][I][B]Numquam Satis![/B][/I][/FONT]Comment
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Originally posted by Caliban View Post
That reminds me of the joke - possibly the work of Denis Nordern - about a detachment of Roman soldiers who were asked to identify themselves by quoting their service numbers, beginning with the earliest recruit: I, II, III, IV, V ……Comment
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Hey, but it's V for La France.Originally posted by LMcD View Post
That reminds me of the joke - possibly the work of Denis Nordern - about a detachment of Roman soldiers who were asked to identify themselves by quoting their service numbers, beginning with the earliest recruit: I, II, III, IV, V ……Comment
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